New Background

Can You Hear Me Now?

Friday, March 03, 2006

Oklahoma BLOWS!

Living in Oklahoma I hear all the Texas/Oklahoma jokes as we are HUGE rivals. Suffice to say, one of the jokes ends with this punchline: Oklahoma Blows. It's not far from one sense.

Having spent most of my youth in “Colorful Colorado” and enduring freezing hair (yes, I’m serious) while waiting for a school bus, I thought I had seen the extremes of weather. I moved to Oklahoma, the first time, at age 19. At that time I was oblivious to my physical surroundings as my focus was ALL ABOUT ME, as it is with any self-respecting 19 year old (yes, I’m serious again).

I returned to Oklahoma, after a 10 year hiatus to “find myself”. Apparently I wasn’t really lost in the first place because I returned to the great state of Oklahoma; now with a husband and two dogs. I sat here wondering if we have some “cool” motto like New Mexico “The Land of Enchantment” or perhaps humble Arkansas: “The Land of Opportunity”. I looked up our state “motto” and it seems fitting that it says: “Labor conquers all things”. Therein IS the problem.

Remember the scripture; Psalm 127:1 “Unless the Lord builds a house, its builder’s labor over it in vain; unless the Lord watches over a city, the watchman stays alert in vain." We may be the 'Bible Belt' but you can be certain the Lord hasn't 'built this house (called Oklahoma) to completion'.

It seems Oklahoma would have done well to remember this when the “Sooners” settled here. This isn’t even the point of this posting…just food for thought.

The other morning I got out of my car to enjoy the once again reduced price of gas (must be getting old or something), a mere $2.019 per gallon, and I was dang near blown across a parking lot. This may not seem like such a big deal, but I am 5’11” and while no self-respecting woman shares her weight, suffice to say I’m well grounded! I laughed out loud as I remembered my sister sharing with me before I moved here that it’s sometimes breezy here. Everyone becomes so immune to this wind that even the weathermen call it a light breeze. Trust me, its 35-45 mph gusts of straight line or swirling wind. There is no avoiding it. The hairspray companies are making a mint! Most women in Oklahoma still don’t realize what the BACK of their head looks like.

I thought it was awesome….at first. Yes I said AWESOME! I'm not a "girly-girl" and I realized I wouldn’t have to do much to my hair it would “style” on its own each morning based on the weather. Trust me when you’re facing these “light breezes” and 90-100% humidity, there isn’t much you can do anyway.

So…I get out of my car at work, and as I do most every morning (because I’m a creature of habit), I place my coffee cup on top of my car while I lock up and get loaded down with my ‘supplies’ for the day. Some days; like this day, the wind almost won. The car door began swinging shut and the coffee began sliding across the top of the car…they both almost ‘got me’. I was fairly quick and on this day, I won this battle, but it made me think about our lives and the “winds of change”.

I know many of these lessons are due to the upcoming MAJOR changes I am going to face with my husband. He will graduate in December, after a very, very long period of work-school, work-school, work-school! We will search and find THE job and possibly relocate. I will work part-time and finally pursue my dream of writing. My roots may be ‘uprooted’. We might move. We may have to sell our first home. We may have to leave the new church we have just become a part of and truly love. We might end up staying in Oklahoma, though with the field my husband has chosen, it’s unlikely. In any event, change is the word in 2006-2007, for this family.

I don’t mind moving. I actually enjoy relocating every few years just for new scenery and a fresh perspective. We moved quite a bit when I was younger, and it’s become a part of my adult life as I’ve relocated every five years or so. We’ve lived in Oklahoma since 2001…it could be time to move.

I remember one the quotes I used to repeat to my sister, because she does NOT like change or moving…it was: “The only constant in life is change.” We’ve all heard it or lived it at some time or another and in some form or another. Change can be stressful, if we battle…instead of prepare for it. I think of change as the honing of our lives and the possibility of shedding of bad habits, and the opportunity to begin-again.

The problem for me really isn’t about the “change” it’s about the motivation behind the desire for change. Do I desire change because I NEED to reinvent myself? Do I desire change for some selfish motivation? One of the necessary, yet redundant themes of my life’s journey has been: “what is the motivation of your heart?” This is almost the first thing I ask myself when I think of pursuing some new activity or venue. I have to do this because I am so “driven” that sometimes, many times in fact, my motivation is strictly the hatch mark of completion. The PROUD bumper sticker proclaiming: “I did it!” Whatever “IT” is.

I have a tendency to jump out of line, run on up ahead and then get lost because the group veered right, when I went on up ahead. I go on vacation, not to relax, but to DO and SEE and ACCOMPLISH. The pictures would reflect all the THINGS I did, not the beauty of the surroundings. Kind of sad, huh? I want to go to a beach somewhere and not stress about just “lying around” and not worry about what I should be doing on my limited visit. It really does take the joy from so much of life.

There is this PROUD joy of accomplishing or being first, or whatever my flesh desires…but there is this resounding, memorable PEACE and JOY that far surpass the PROUD joy when I follow my heart’s lead, the heart of my heavenly Father.

I’m praying about these upcoming changes. I’m praying GOD’S will. I’m praying God would help me see clearly His desire. Today as the wind blows, yet again…I am praying that…

God will grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and most important the WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!


GiBee said...

Uhhh ... how about $2.30/gal? And that's the low end right now! I know that wasn't the point of your post, but man! $2.019? That really grabbed my attention!

kpjara said...

Tell me about it's back up to like $2.19 here. How can the same DANG gas fluctuate that much in a few days???? And I am SO not "buying" the governments excuses!

tam said...

ok, i was going to say something poignant but now you've got me going. I was literally just 10 minutes ago MAD, MAD, MAD about the gas situation. It was 2.18 this morning but went to 2.21 this evening (same gas station in nearby town) At gas station near my home it is 2.31. SAME COMPANY folks...

I want to scream loudly.

Back to point one:

kpjara...I really, really enjoy reading what you right. I have to admit that at times I thought surely this time she's rambling but you (for the short time I have been reading you) ALWAYS get to an incredibly important point that makes perfect sense and all the story above was necessary for the point. I love it.

Thank you is my second point. Thank you so very much.

tam said...

oh how the seeing the wee hours of the morning for several nights in a row have caused my sight to go...

a correction: I enjoy what you Write not Right! (maybe that too!)

kpjara said...

OOh...I kind of like RIGHT better then WRITE...but heck, I'll take either!

Thank you for honesty...and allowing me to ramble randomly. This is like an interactive journal and I don't have to stay imprisoned to the places my mind travels.


great2beme said...

Kim Kim Kim,
You understand if you move you are requiring me to CHANGE again! I am not happy about the thought of this. Your dream could be my nightmare, do you really want to do that? I know we don't get to visit enough but the idea of you moving is too much for me to bear! I won't battle change but I will battle you to keep you here. I find myself crying as I read this and I want ot be happy for you, but it makes me incredibly sad for me. Not only because I will be left with mom and dad but because I need you to be close. So the compromise I see is for one I never catch you writing like this again! and next you need to understand the only right thing for Paul to do is commute yes even if that is to Austin you are used to him not being home much no reason to change too much at once. This is the right thing to do for so many reasons and I may blog about it later maybe even tomorrow. Don't think about going yet because I can't handle it. Can you hear me NOW!!!
love you!

kpjara said...

You are too too much little sister! Please know that God is preparing you for whatever changes come will deal with don't fret and worry it's not even for the birds (according to Scripture).

Love you too!