New Background

Can You Hear Me Now?

Monday, May 28, 2007

Remembering on Memorial Day

At the church we visited on Sunday the pastor asked us to think about a family member who had served in the military and lost his/her life and say a prayer of remembrance for that person.

I thought and thought but I couldn't think of any of my immediate family that had lost their life in fighting for my freedom. I prayed a general prayer for ALL those who have served and sacrificed. I prayed for the families and I asked God if there was anyone I was forgetting.

A conviction fell over me swift and sure. God asked about His son...Jesus.

Of course...Jesus has fought for my freedom, for OUR freedom and won the final victory for our souls...our eternity. And so I prayed again, a prayer of repentance and thanksgiving for this reminder...for this sacrifice. The sacrifice that matters over all the others.

Here's to ALL who have all who have sacrificed...and to Jesus...the Savior of all!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Church #4

My Hubby blogged his first Meme...check him out to encourage this relatively new hobby. It's not easy for him because he looks at the written word as absolute...obviously not like me in this way! But give a 'shout out' if you have a free minute!

We visited, what I would consider, a MEGA-Church today. It is a non-denominational church and we already watch the pastor on TV each Sunday typically. We love to hear this pastor speak and teach. He has a natural ability to teach and preach with passion. We've visited here a few times and seen special speakers at this location.

They are doing a special series "He Said/She Said" in which both the pastor and his wife are teaching. Today they covered Gary Smalley's; "The Five Love Languages". I love the book and my husband and I have listened to the CD's in the past so it was a good refresher.

I'm still more of a temperament follower than love languages, but I see the value of both in just learning more about those we love and even those we interact with.

SO...why don't we just choose this church and start 'plugging in'? Mostly because it is SO big...there are 6 weekly services and each one, including the 9:00 a.m. service we attended today, are packed out. I believe they have well over 10,000 members, if you include their off-site locations in OKC, Norman, LasVegas, Texas, and online. That's overwhelming to me and even with small groups I don't know if it would ever feel like a 'home church' to me.

They were actually doing a small group expo today and we picked up some information on small groups available and this is also the church that sponsors the writer's small group I have attended.

I just don't want to be a part of a church that wouldn't know whether I was there or not and it doesn't really matter whether I serve or not. My husband did point out that it might be nice to attend a church with more volunteers.

Each week I long for a home church or a small intimate setting. Cool Mama recommended in one of her comments to me, that we sit down and write out what it is we're looking for in a church home.

I haven't formally done that...but I just may attempt it this week. I think part of it is I'm afraid to be too concrete for fear it really doesn't exist. I think about how I met my husband and how it was SO God...and I want to believe the same will happen with church.

It was a good visit today...but I seriously doubt it's our new the search continues.

We also went to see the movie "The Invisible" today...and it's not even worth a link. It just wasn't a great movie...not even a good movie...thankfully it was an early "cheap" movie.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Praying it Forward

I'm sure you remember the movie "Pay it Forward". Remember how wonderful and encouraging it was to see the good deeds 'paid forward'. Each person, both the giver and the recipient was blessed.

I'm thinking of taking it a bit further...hence the title...PRAY IT FORWARD! I can't think of anything more certain, more rewarding than praying it forward.

I don't doubt that this is on my mind because God placed it there. The other night as my husband and I were preparing for bed, I felt this urgent need to begin journaling my prayers and God's answers. I'm not sure where it will lead, but I've decided the journal will be called "Pray it Forward".

SO...I turn the corner on this block of my journey and begin the time of praying it forward.

My prayers today are:

Health for myself and many others
My sister and her splintered family
Finding a church home
My husband's wisdom and growth
Our financial peace
The words I hear from God
The person God is forming me to be
The obedience that eludes me
The passion that drives me
The love that dwells within me

I guess that about covers the first few things I'm praying about!

Monday, May 14, 2007

Church #3

We visited this church this past Sunday. It was not at all what I expected. The worship was really powerful and the mood was set with a candle lit room. There were open invitations for families to come and pray together at prayer tables...or at the alter. It was Mother's Day so of course it was a bit different than usual...the Pastor's Wife spoke...she shared her story as a Mom and wife in ministry.

I thought she had a wonderful ability to connect to the women and men alike. She shared her story openly...even the stuff from the beginning of their ministry where she had to learn some hard lessons about serving and boundaries.

The message was primarily directed to the mothers and at first I thought it would be hard...another mother's day without that experience...but what really got to me...and opened up the faucet of tears was when she started talking about how God works.

She reminded us (me) that God...the God of the Universe, who can speak things into existence; God who created EVERYTHING saw a need for an Abraham Lincoln and he used a poor farmer women to bring this baby into the world. When God needed a Martin Luther King Jr. he chose another woman, not a wealthy woman, but a God-fearing woman to bring this baby into the world. And when God needed a Savior...He used a young girl with a heart for God to bring a Savior into the world. Our creator did the same thing with us.

God needed a Kim to do His He chose a man and a woman to bring this baby into the world for God's purpose. While God may not use me to bring a baby into this world, I will be used to do His will in His time, at His leading. That's a humbling and incredibly love-filled reminder.

We left the service and while I don't know my husband's take on the whole thing, I think I was more 'touched' than he was. We'll probably go back and at least hear the Pastor preach.

After church, we took Mom (and Dad) out to see the movie "Georgia Rule". It was definitely "R" rated. The language was stronger than I thought it needed to be. The story was much more intense than the previews let on. It's really a story about overcoming the bad stuff life brings...with family. It's a love story, but a difficult story to watch, because so much of the lesson is born of pain.

Jane Fonda was incredible in her role (and I'm not a huge Jane Fonda fan...but she really stole the show). Lindsay Lohan was 'okay' and Felicity Huffman definitely held her own. There was some beautiful scenery of Idaho (or what I imagine was really Idaho). And thankfully it ended overall I don't regret seeing it and while I may not recommend it over some other was okay and Mom really liked it.'s Monday evening and I'm zonked...I guess this is everything for now.

I hope your mother's day brought joy and an increase in wisdom! Thank God for our Mothers, the women used by God to bring His children to earth.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Week Gone By

WOW! It's Thursday night and I haven't even had the computer ON since my last post. We've been inundated with very active and ominous weather and I didn't want to risk losing my hard-drive by one strike of lightening.

I have so much to many words reserved but I already feel my eyelids drooping and begging for some shut eye, so I'll try to be brief.

We had the opportunity to go see "CoSign" with my sister and a friend of hers last weekend. It's a comedic musical performance by Deaf Interpreters and it is a show worth seeing. It is hilarious. They are from Connecticut but come to Oklahoma occasionally because of family. I can't believe they don't have a link...but take my word for it...they ROCK!

Saturday I scored some good buys at garage sales and then my husband took the niece and nephew to see Spiderman 3 while I cleaned the house and did all the laundry and watched Lifetime television. We had a quiet evening together.

Sunday we visited Church #2. It was an experience. It wasn't a BAD experience...just an experience. It's a church that moved because their old building was leveled by a tornado a few years ago. The building is beautiful and as we pulled up to the place I immediately made an observation: we were under-dressed.

You see, I don't put on 'airs'. I wear whats comfortable, especially on the weekend! We were in shorts and t-shirts. Actually I had on a pair of capris and a t-shirt, not too shabby...but NOT a dress or slacks.

My HUSBAND, my casual day, EVERYDAY husband...says as we're approaching the suited greeters: "I told you, you can NEVER be overdressed." I laughed and laughed as I attempted to shake the man's hand, forgetting that many denominations don't shake the woman's hand. Okay, strike 2 for me. I am under dressed AND tried to grope the guy...LOL

We make it inside and it's gorgeous in there. People are smiling and very friendly. One woman approached us and we explained we were new. She quickly gave us the history of this place, pointed towards the sanctuary and asked if we had any children.

My husband and I have decided in tribute to Bill Engvall, we are going to come up with some of our own "Here's your sign" remarks to this question. Here's some samples:

"Oh we NEVER bring the kids to churches we're just DATING!" or how about...

"The baby was sleeping so soundly we decided to leave her home. She's okay in that crib."

We didn't actually say that but we both agreed it's a strange question to ask two adults who are clearly without children.

SO we go into service and again it's a beautiful, perfectly pewed church, with well-dressed folks just there to worship God. Pretty soon we were glad we were the 'fashion don'ts' because the air was broken and it has been HUMID lately in this rain forest of a city. SO while most everyone is fanning themselves with the worship bulletin, we're basking in our state of under dressed coolness.

I listened to the worship, hoping for something less traditional, but enduring through it. The prayer time was awesome and full of the Spirit of God and the Scriptural reading was awesome as well. We heard a sermon from Isaiah 40, a wonderful passage of hope and God's glory. We were reminded of the God who transcends everything; circumstance, person, power, every other god or idol...everything!

The preacher was passionate and spoke again and again to the youth who sat together near the front. As I sat and listened I realize we wouldn't be back. Not because it was 'missing anything', but because I'm somehow stuck between desiring freedom and uniqueness in a church setting and the desire for some traditional elements. I want it all and while we search and wait, we might as well try them all, right?

So, church #2...not so much! They were lovely people and it was very age-diverse, which is a HUGE plus to us, but it just isn't the church for kpjara and P-diddy.

So we continue on our search...this week another denomination and another one close to our home. My parents visited and thought it was too 'out there' which of course is what draws me. We'll see.

We are also going to 'Rooster Fest" one of Broken Arrows events each year. I've never been, but it was featured in one of the Fun and Family Magazines and we thought we'd give it a try. Plus I'll get to visit my sister and the kids too.

Then of course Sunday...we'll spend with Mom. We're going to see "Georgia Rules" with Mom and Dad and probably have some dinner. It should be a full weekend and lots of fun.

I hope to get back online before the end of next week. The weather sounds like it's going to be clear until the end of next week.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day and know that if you're a mother you're blessed among women!
Enjoy the celebration of your legacy!

Monday, May 07, 2007

7 Things About Me Meme

Tami at The Next Step tagged me with the meme, 7 Things About Me. I haven’t been tagged for any of these things in SO long…I had to get right on it! Before you read mind...go read all about her!

Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Let’s see what are my 7 random facts/habits…

1. I daydream entire years sometimes in moments. I can sit and daydream for a few minutes and it totally helps me regroup and relax.

2. I used to think the way I ‘heard’ from God was weird, but it’s exactly how Karen Kingsbury writes her characters hearing from God…with Scripture reminders or just talking to me.

3. I hate shoes. I hated them more until this past Thursday when I stepped on some glass and after my mother and husband trying to dig it out with a needle and xacto knife, I went to the doctor and let them dig it out.

I would be happy in a ‘glass-free’ environment…never wearing shoes again. I even go shoeless in the winter…to get mail or the paper, or trashcan. I just prefer my feet bare!

4. I love to watch people…and listen to what they talk about. Sometimes I’ll go to a coffee shop and just watch…and listen…and sometime pray for what I heard. I’ve even been known to ‘shsh’ my husband to hear other people.

5. I do not like talking on the phone. I will do it in spurts, but I prefer emailing or visiting in person…or apparently eavesdropping.

6. I watch the Bachelor…I can’t help it. I know those relationships are essentially doomed from the start, but I almost always get sucked in.

7. I tend to jump ahead way too often. I have to force myself to stop and experience the moment without trying to forge ahead. I think it relates to a competitive nature and desire to be the best.

Wow! That was a bit tough. Now let’s see, who am I going to tag? I’ll go with these:

P-diddy (let’s see what the hubs says)
Becky at Words of a Wolfe, someone I would like to know more about.
Rachelle @ Seek First His Kingdom, I’m always interested in her thoughts.
Dear friend Dawn, over at Call Me Grandma Dawn.
His Singer at His Unfinished Work.
Brigitte, @ a Gentle and Quiet Spirit.
& of course I’ll try to get Twittering Tam. I’ve got to go ‘tag’ them and if you want to ‘tag yourself’ let me know and I’ll come get to know you a bit better too!

We visited a new church Sunday…I’ll share those observations tomorrow.

Have an truth-filled Tuesday!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Sheep Gone Bad

I love The Far Side comics. I think they speak directly to the heart of the matter. One of my co-workers has The Far Side calendar for 2007 and she brings me the daily comics each morning. This morning spoke volumes about the 99/1 lesson I struggled with so much in the Bible.

So I read this. *it says: "Wait! Wait! Listen to me! ... We don't HAVE to be just sheep!"

Then the light begins to dawn...This is something I would do and say! I am clearly that sheep. The one that would wander away because I just KNOW I can be MORE! I am the sheep that had to be chased down and possibly have my legs broken because I tend to wander off. I am the sheep that could even convince a cluster or small group of other sheep to go astray...out to where the wolf lies in wait to devour lost sheep.

For me, finding and remaining in the place God puts me is a difficult challenge. It's not impossible. I stayed at my last job WAY longer than I would have, had God not been leading me. These are some of those painful growing pains. The growth is absolutely necessary...and the pain that accompanies this vital growth with not soon be forgotten.

As I recall stories of childbirth from friends and family, I remember hearing ALMOST each one that the pain was unbelievable, incomparable, even excruciating. My sister swore she'd never do it again. Yet my nephew was born just 6 years later.

I have to believe it's the same with life lessons. Some are so painful we think we'll never allow ourselves to go through it again...but even some of the most painful become just bittersweet reminders that everything comes at a cost. There is NO true growth WITHOUT pain.

And so...I continue to learn; it's not about being JUST a's about learning to be the very best sheep I can be. It's about honing and embracing each of my sheep qualities.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007


"What you are becoming is more important than what you are accomplishing."

This is a quote from my calender of motivational quotes. It's from a few days ago but I had been so BUSY accomplishing things...I hadn't been reading my daily motivation.

As with so many things 'art imitates life'. There are days when I am so busy just accomplishing the the only thing I exhausted.

There was a line in a movie we saw last weekend (In the Land of Women), where Meg Ryan's character says (and I'm seriously paraphrasing because I have a horrible memory), "I just don't want to look back on my life and wonder where it went."

I can so relate. I think most of us can SO relate.

I want my focus to be about how God is growing every venue of my life. I don't want to wake up one morning and I'm on the last quarter mile of my journey, or even standing before God and I'm the same unchanged and unchangeable person I was as I entered this journey.

This is the thing, one of the things, that keeps me going, keeps me growing, keeps me moving towards the "ME" I know God created me to be.

I ponder what it is to 'become'. I don't think it's a goal anymore. My life journey has really been a process of becoming.

Before I was born, I was becoming someones infant.
When I was an infant, I was about becoming a child.
When I was a child, I was about becoming a teenager.
When I was a teenager, I was all about becoming an adult.
When I was in my 20's, I was all about becoming rich.
When I was in my 30's, I was about becoming wise.
Now that I'm well into my 40's, I realize I have the potential to become each and every day.

I hope I remember in my 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's (for as long as God uses me) to use each moment of each day to become. I hope I remember to value the journey instead of the destination.

Have a becoming week!