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Can You Hear Me Now?

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

2 Steps Back

I’ve written in the past about temperaments; mine and others, as well as books all church attendees should study again and again…For me, it’s time to traverse down that path once again.

I’m going to pull my well-read copy of “Bait of Satan” from the shelf and review the basics: It is MY offense…I own this offense…I am the only one that can RELEASE this offense…DANG, DANG-DOUBLE DANG! It’s not ironic that my husband and I are starting this study again this week, with 4 other couples.

My temperament, as I’ve mentioned before, is CHOLERIC-75/MELANCHOLY-25 (though sometimes it shifts more or less one way or the other). This is NOT an excuse for my behavior it only helps me to recognize why I REACT to things the way I do.

If you ever truly WANT to hurt a “Choleric” say something about the way they waste time or can MAKE time to do just ONE more thing! Cholerics are above and beyond all else; leaders and multi-taskers. We can complete more tasks then any of the other temperaments combined and we thrive in leadership and decisive decision making. It would also make sense then, that we must be very careful and seek discernment about the things we volunteer for, which could be overwhelming if we take on EVERYTHING our flesh thinks we can do.

One problem is sometimes we need others to recognize this ability as well. My husband, bless his heart, knows the greatest COMPLIMENT he can give me is to say something along the lines of: “You got SO MUCH DONE TODAY! How do you do it all?” Of course my husband doesn’t SHOW this inflection, because he’s so monotone…but I know what his heart is saying.

I am carrying an offense from a comment by another woman, who I really am growing to love…she is NOT choleric. She is primarily sanguine in my estimation. She can talk to anyone and be perfectly at home with that. She loves to be the center of attention and can hold us all captive by her stories and teaching. She made a comment to me about my ability to take on one more thing and I felt my eyes grow big as silver-dollars.

It wouldn’t be such a BIG deal, except this offense I carry is yet another thing to put in my bag of “goodies” that I haul around everywhere I go…and I feel myself emotionally pulling away from this group of women that I am JUST starting to open up to.

That is how the melancholy in me works. If I were 100% Choleric I would just blast anyone who ‘threatened’ me and be done with it…Melancholies, on the other hand, are brooding, emotional, introverted, grudge-holding when angered. They are also intelligent, highly creative, thorough and detail oriented. So ‘Ms. Melancholy’ is saying, “keep quiet and we’ll deal with this later.” What is wrong with me… why would I CHOOSE this ugly road once again? My temperament is TRANSFORMED by the Holy Spirit…only in as much as I can live the utterance; “DIE FLESH DIE!”

This whole thing makes sense to me because the minute I began to really think on Christ and His love for me, Satan saw that as a prime opportunity to divert my eyes, mind and heart to another IMPERFECT person. I KNOW this and yet I’m still tripped up.

Today I will pray and I hope I can release this offense before my mouth speaks. I will now refer to what God says in James 3:1-12 and thank you for listening.

“Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment; for we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control his whole body. Now when we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we also guide the whole animal. And consider ships: though very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our bodies; it pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell. For every creature--animal or bird, reptile or fish--is tamed and has been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who are made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things should not be this way. Does a spring pour out sweet and bitter water from the same opening? Can a fig tree produce olives, my brothers, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a saltwater spring yield fresh water."

Happy Tuesday!


Anonymous said...

I am Sanguine/Melancholy.....can't remember the percentages tho!

GiBee said...

Hmmm ... I'm not sure WHAT I am... But Crazy has to fall in there somewhere. I'm sorry you're feeling offended by this woman. She probably didn't mean to hurt you, but her personality probably made her throw up those words without thinking! -- hmmm ... wonder what HER mix is?

I'll be praying for you. Oh, also ... a freind of mine once shared this little example that really opened my eyes up... She said that women tend to go to the alter hauling our suitcase full of prayer requests and problems to the Lord... we open the suitcase, show him everything in it, pray, pray, pray ... say we lay it at his feet, then snap the suitcase shut and walk back down the aisle, lugging our FULL suitcase back to our seats. With all our problems. And our hurt. And prayer requests.

Instead, we need to learn to leave that stinking suitcase at the alter and run away from it... run, run, run. And LEAVE it at Jesus' feet.

Easy to read, haaarrrd to do, huh?!?

Oh, and ... Girl -- You got SO MUCH DONE TODAY! How do you do it all?!?


kpjara said...

You are such a Godsend!

It is SO hard to REMEMBER to leave the stinkin' suitcase there! One day, when I'm much older, maybe I'll just FORGET to REMEMBER to PICK IT UP! Somehow I think I'd notice the missing weights. You think it's irony that my shoulder is bugging me today?

Karen said...

This is why I force myself to step back from blogdom every so often - to remind myself that for every one thing I share on my blog there are 20 things that I don't share. It's impossible for people to know these things about me but WAY too easy to comment as if they do. As if reading a few paragraphs of my life everyday entitles them to give unasked for advice, make "jokes", and assume things. Most of the time I can let them roll off my back with the phrase, "Well, if she knew the whole story . . . " but sometimes, usually when I realize that I've been spending too much time immersing myself in this cyberworld, a comment or two that I receive will really stick in a painful, personal way. It's those times when I realize that I'm losing my boundary between the two worlds- my real world that I live and breathe in every day and my blog world where I share only what I want to and read only what I want to. It's a wonderful resource and community but only to a point. Finding that point can be really painful but so necesary. Stepping back to regain my perspective is vital.

I know how this offense must feel to you. I've been there, right now as a matter of fact. I encourage you to release it with a giant spoonful of salt and realize that your readers only sample a piece of the wonderful you according to what you share. She can't know the inner you, the essence of who Kim really is. And she was wrong to assume that whether on accident or with another motive.

I'm speaking to the mirror on this one and also being one of those really annoying readers who gives unasked for advice and is making assumptions. Forgive me. I selfishly don't want to see you disappear or withdraw. I've enjoyed reading your blog and seeing it become more personal and humorous in that your personality is shining through and it's a lovely one.

I LOOOOVE that suitcase analogy. I'm going to remember that. I love a really good visual.

Wow, that was a really long comment. How annoying. Sorry.

kpjara said...

I'm just SO glad to know you're still out there...

Sometimes I feel like Alice in Wonderland out here in Blogdom...I mean I have all these "names" some real, some less so...and I am one of these people that become very attached when someone is "missing", someone I care about and look forward to hearing from and about...I freak! A bit weird considering I don't really KNOW any of these people...but there are many of them I would TREASURE the opportunity to meet and really talk with.

This has been one of the easiest forums for me to be open and honest even at the risk of some not-so-flattering comments. This is the truest me at this moment. I love that I have this place at this moment and I hope I will be able to be more and more like this person in my own life and surroundings and it wouldn't seem like the mask has to immediately come on away from the blogdom. I hate the mask. I hate having to be 'happy go lucky Kim' when I don't FEEL it. Good grief, I'm rambling...sorry...