New Background

Can You Hear Me Now?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I am a very tactile person. I love to touch things. I cannot go through a clothing store without TOUCHING all the fabrics everything is made of. I touch everything. I touch fruit, vegetables, artwork, glasses, flowers, sand at the beach, jewelry; just about anything I’m legally allowed to touch.

One of my friends from college used to give me such a hard time about my ‘need to touch’. I have no explanation…maybe it’s because we were always told as children “don’t touch anything” when we’d be forced to go with Mom shopping cause Dad was watching a game. It could have just been another form of rebellion…at least initially. Now I just love the ways things feel.

This could also explain my need to use my hands with artwork. I like to paint with my hands, create things with my hands. I never could get into knitting and crocheting…I think it’s because I can’t just do it with my hands. WAYYYY back in the late 70’s I used to go to a macramé group with my mother. I really enjoyed it…I think because you use your hands. Don’t scoff; macramé was very popular before it became the brunt of all hippy jokes. I would probably also enjoy basket weaving, though I’ve never given it a try.

There is this fairly new commercial, I think it’s for Kleenex or some tissue product. Anyway the woman in the commercial touches everything she walks by and says the word, “touch”. Then she gets to the product and she touches it and says, “Feel!” It’s as though she finally FEELS something.

Of course all this thought process brings me to my own experience. Perhaps part of my need for the touch stimulus is because I am an extremely feeling person. I am not really SHOWY with my feelings, but I feel thing extremely deeply.

The other thought is that we are created in God’s image and I know, based on how God created us, He LOVES TOUCH TOO!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Destined For the Impossible

Lately I’ve pondered my creation. I’ve been considering all that God created me for. Sometimes it can be so self-defeating it’s almost debilitating. Sometimes I can’t quite reach what I was created for and sometimes it almost feels overwhelming the things God DOES want me to do. There are times when I wonder if I’ll ever reach my potential.

The answer is a resounding…no.

I’ll never reach MY potential, and I’LL never reach God’s potential.

I was reminded of a few things this past week.

#1: There are people who will stop at nothing to keep us from achieving God’s dream in us.
#2: God pre-ordained us to the dream He placed in us.
#3: God doesn’t call us to the possible. He ONLY calls us to the IMPOSSIBLE.

I have this CD called “The Nature of God”. I wish I knew who did it. All I can tell you is it’s an Australian pastor. Here is part of what he says:

God doesn’t call you to security in what you’re doing, He only calls you into security in who He is.
The only assurance is that His great heart will sustain us.

What God has called us to is outrageous, impossible, & totally unpredictable and the only way that we will do it is because we are secure in the nature of God.

You’re perfect, you’re perfect for God. He’s going to make you perfect in his nature, stamping the image of Jesus on you. It’s going to be great. That’s what the desert is about, it’s about discovering the majesty of God.

Hosea 2:14-15: I will captivate her heart and draw her into the wilderness to speak kindly to her.

And out of that place of coming into a revelation of the nature of God, to me, God will give you a vineyard of fruitfulness. You see he knows the plan he has for you, the things he wants for you to accomplish, but first, first, I want you to see me, as I really, really am for you. As I am for you, as I am for you. I want you to know me as I am for you. Every one of us needs a revelation of the nature of God.

So I am ABSOLUTELY destined for the impossible…maybe it should be called the Him-possible!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Why I Don't Read the DSM-IV

I’ve mentioned this wonderful study I’m doing right now with a dear friend of mine… “Hiding From Love” by Dr. John Townsend. It’s quite insightful and helpful with regards to understanding the ‘why and what’ to our hiding.

The one problem I’m finding is I can relate to almost each scenario. We’re on the second to last chapter, “Hiding From Authority and Adulthood”, and as I reviewed the work book I had to literally stop and meditate about whether I was just being too hard on myself or did I really have valid examples for almost every single scenario.

Then it dawned on me...even I’m not quite THAT hidden!

…and that is why I don’t read the DSM-IV.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Rain Rain Go AWAY!

I think I’ve got a bad case of S-A-D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) going on. The lack of sunshine is totally bumming me out. I’m crankier and get agitated easily. I am tired and want to laze around and hibernate until summer. And I want to whine about it…apparently.

Others have reminded me that the rain bring the flowers and keeps our grass green…but I only have one flower pot and I water it regularly and green grass isn’t a huge priority for me…sunshine, on the other hand, is a ‘must-have’ in my life.

I was just thinking…maybe this is how the H.S. feels while indwelling me and when I lack SON shine. All those times I hide in the shadow of deception or jealousy. The times I choose to wear SON glasses ‘protecting’ my eyes from truth and light.

Maybe this rain is here to help remind me to appreciate the SON Shine in my life and to nurture it and to allow it to shine!

…just thinking.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

My Life Is An Open Book...

But is it one worth reading?

I got to thinking this morning on the drive into work about my love of books. I love a good read and get through probably 50-100 books a year. I read both fiction and non-fiction. I have favorites. I have authors I can’t wait to read; like Karen Kingsbury, Terri Blackstock, Carol Kent, and Brian McLaren. I also have authors I have to avoid…no need to name these.

Several years ago when God was ‘cleaning out my life-closets’ He encouraged me to purge all the junk. The hubs and I purged cd’s and books that didn’t seem so edifying and served no real purpose in our lives. Purging books wasn’t easy…at first. After several months with only Christian fiction, I began to see that my mind was being transformed by what I was reading. I would pick up other books at garage sales and flip through them and some of the stories were so full of ‘junk’ it was hard to see any story behind those words.

God, in His ever present quest to ‘purify’ has recently been ‘cleaning out more life-closets’ (you know how closets can be such a dumping ground of everything you don’t need or want to see RIGHT now)…and God pointed out a couple of things. My ‘story’ was straying a bit from the stories I now choose to read. My ‘story’ was becoming filled with ‘fluff’ and not even really edifying fluff. Of course God, in His infinite wisdom, didn’t make me empty the closet right then, but He did ask that I really give thought and time to the process of my life (story) and remember the transformation so many years ago.

So, today I’m reflecting on my life and hoping to do a bit of a ‘life-purge’ a little at a time and maybe, just maybe, my story will be one I’d love to read one day!

Friday, May 01, 2009

Follow You Where?

This morning AIR-1 was talking about the Scripture in Matthew when Jesus ‘asks’ Matthew to leave his work and follow Him.

Matthew doesn’t hesitate…he gets up, leaves and follows Jesus.

So I began to wonder what would happen if Jesus came to my desk and said, “Kim, leave your work, come and follow me and be my disciple.”

The remainder of this (imagined) conversation goes a bit like this…

KIM: “Well, Jesus I have quite a bit of work to finish up on here, I may have to catch up with you during the evening discipleship classes only.”

JESUS: “Kim, there is nothing here that someone else cannot do. I am asking you to come and follow me…now.”

KIM: “But Lord, what about the problem solving and friendship…and the money I make here. How will I provide for myself?”

JESUS: “These are all mine to take care of. Our Father provides for all our needs, so money has never been an issue.”

KIM: “Well what about everything I need to take care of at home?”

JESUS: “Mine! Come on, it’s time to step outside that comfort zone and just listen to me and learn.”

Okay, so perhaps it would be a bit different, but somehow I have a feeling I would have hesitated. It does concern me a bit, because I WANT to believe I’d get up and drop it all and follow Him, but I’m not really sure that’s how it would play.

Thankfully Jesus will ask and ask and ask and ask and ask…and one day…I’ll be ready to leave it all behind and GO!