I need to vent. I’m hoping to ‘purge’ this from my soul and head and then I can move on with everything else that beckons.
I meet with a group of incredible women each Sunday night for a Bible Study. We are studying a John Eldredge book: “Sacred Romance”. In all honesty it hasn’t been my favorite book of Eldredge or any author. It struggles, in my opinion, to reach into the heart of a WOMAN and describe how our hearts yearn or ache or desire. I just don’t think Eldredge “got it”. It reminds me of a ‘watered down’ version of “Wild at Heart” (which was awesome in my opinion, by the way). Honestly, I struggle bunches with men trying to TEACH women about our hearts and how we “think and act”. Give me a break!
The other women seem to love the book, so on some level I’m hesitant to share things that I feel or think. I have, however, shared when I felt the urging of the Holy Spirit and then it is up to each person to receive or reject that information based on their own journey. Last night was one of those nights when I felt I should sit quietly to a point…and I did…to a point.
My back ground is also different from these women. All, except one of these women, were raised and reared and taught in the SBC Church. I was not. I ATTENDED an American Baptist Church as a child, but attendance was the only thing I gained. Until I searched, on my own, other denominations and non-denominational churches, I had NO IDEA what I believed. I was fortunate to be exposed to some awesome BIBLICAL teachers who even taught things that were so highly opposed by mainstream churches. This forced me to read the Bible and find out for myself truth and mis-truth.
Last night the reading was on “HEAVEN”, the twelfth chapter is called: “Coming Home”. This book went on and on and on about how wonderful heaven will be. I totally agree! Heaven will be awesome. This book asked us to think about and ponder who would be there and what it would look like and who we would “sup” with and who we would “dance” with (there will SO be dancing in heaven, by the way). This book said: “the best human life is unspeakably sad.” That bugs me!
I wish it would have said: “the best human life will pale in comparison to Heaven.” It didn’t…and so it spawned this conversation about heaven and earth and the time between the two. The real truth of the matter became evident…there are women in this place and apparently on earth who are waiting….just biding their time…til they can get to heaven. Tell me it’s not true! Do NOT tell me our whole journey is ONLY about the destination….no way! If our lives on earth are so meaningless, and without significance, then why don’t we die immediately upon accepting Christ?
Some would say we have to be “punished” or “molded” or “matured” or any number of words. I began to wonder if the reason we ‘damn’ suicide victims to hell, is because if we didn’t, we would all opt out at some point. I’m one of those “weird people” who don’t believe Judas is in hell, by the way.
It breaks my heart that these women last night shared how they long for heaven. These women who have children, husbands, careers, CHRIST…they still feel it lacks… it’s not enough. I do believe heaven WILL bring everything to completion in that eternal worship and rest are a wonderful place to be…my query is this: why are we waiting to experience this? Why aren’t we seeking to be in a state of ‘heaven on earth’?
Now that I’m almost completely alone in my random thoughts I’ll say this…God created us specifically and with purpose for the here and now. It is not solely about a destination…it is about a journey. A journey of great love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It is a journey of love above all else. The ultimate destination is going to “rock” like nothing else…but here and now, today, where I am, is a place of hope and wonder and birth and death and celebration and growth and blessing beyond what we can speak or think.