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Can You Hear Me Now?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Messages from God

I woke up with a song in my mind and soon on my lips. So I started singing this song, which if you know me at all, you KNOW I am not a ‘singing first thing in the morning’ kind of girl. I am not really a morning person at all and I will often times just nod when asked questions instead of verbalizing anything until I’ve been up for 30 minutes or so.

At first I thought perhaps I had been drugged and was being forced to sing, but soon realized as I tried to recall the lyrics and sing them over and over again…this must be a message from God! Only God would speak to me in a song, through a book, or any other number of random ways He often chooses to speak to me. Mostly so when you try to explain it to another rational human being they give you that look like… ‘are you on some sort of medication, or are you being FORCED to say this?’

So I finish getting ready and hop in my car (hopping anywhere is another very uncharacteristic thing for me), which I wrote off as just SPRING Fever and enjoying the 80+ temps forecasted for today, and as soon as I hit my station button on the radio, guess what song came on…yep, the same one I had been singing. It’s a Johnny Diaz song called “There Could Never Be a More Beautiful You.”

Clearly God wants to say something to me. Other times when these types of messages continue to bombard me, or in this case…replay, I pray and just ask God what it is He wants me to take from this. This morning I prayed and this is what He told me:

“Child I know your past and your future and I love you through it all. I want you to know you are beautiful! I know this because you are the essence of the beauty I placed in you. You ARE beautiful! Speak it! Live it! Soak it up! BE beautiful!”

“But God that seems somewhat prideful.”

“Only if you think YOU did it. I created you in my image so your recognition of the beauty I placed in you, is a form of worship to me. You don’t have to go around touting your beauty or trying to be beautiful compared to others, just live in the beauty that is the you I created.”

So I listened to the song and had my chat with God and some of the junk that had been filling up my spirit cleared out as I worshipped God with my whole self this morning. God…I love Him!

…so have a beautiful, sing-song day as we bask in His incredible creation…yes even the you HE created!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Hybernating in Spring

The hubs and I watched movies this weekend with the spring snow-storm that came our way. Here was our line-up and rating:

Post-Grad - D-
Precious - B-
Couples Retreat - D
Up in the Air - A-

Post-Grad was a snooze-fest. We literally started watching Friday evening and became so disenchanted we turned it off around 11pm and opted for some Criminal Minds repeats instead. Finally watched the remainder on Saturday and it was one of the worst films I’ve seen this year. It could have been good, but Michael Keaton was horrible in his ‘incomplete character’ role and even Carol Burnett could do nothing to save the film.

Precious was next and thankfully I had read the book and was semi-prepared for the film. They stayed fairly true to the way the book was written (the essence of the characters’ experiences were not lost). Monique absolutely deserved an award for her role of the Mother and the role of Precious was also excellent. Surprisingly even Mariah Carey was believable in her Social Worker role. The grade I assigned this film was because I felt it did drag in places and it seemed to end fairly abruptly without any transition.

Couples Retreat was also a disappointment. This is one of those films where the best parts of it are seen during the previews. Certainly there were some ‘funny’ moments and it ended well, but it was just a bit slow and sort of depressing through much of the film.

Up in the Air was the final film we watched and thankfully that redeemed the whole experience a bit. It was really a great film. It wasn’t ultra-heavy or deep, but it definitely had moments of excellence and I learned something from the film. It made me think about my ‘back pack’ and all the junk I lug around everywhere I go, both literally and figuratively.

It reminded me of a post I once did about taking my ‘junk’ to the cross and then taking it with me when I left. It reminded me that life is more than what our occupation is. It reminded me that sometimes we forget what our passion was and ‘settle’ and life is supposed to be more than just settling.

Here’s to an ‘unsettled’ Monday! LOL

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Spring Break?

Yesterday as the snow fell...YES I said snow...I dreamed of those long-gone college days and that time of year when you didn't think you could take one more lecture, pop-quiz or another blue-book exam when all you really wanted to do was step outside into the sunshine and soak up the rays as you dreamed of being done with school altogether! I wanted a SPRING BREAK! I get spring fever bad! I am a summer person and love the sun and heat, heat, heat.

My boss recommended I go to a tanning booth. She said that it would help fulfill this sun-craving I've had. I still haven't done that because frankly I'd feel goofy going in for a one time visit of pseudo-sunshine (via tanning-bulbs), but maybe I should.

El Nino' or El Nina, whichever, has been stomping us for the past year and I'm so over it. I honestly think I'm starting to experience some of that SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and just really need some time outside in the sun.

So today the sun is shining and while there is still snow on the roads (for now), I do intend to step outside, maybe take a walk or even a drive to feel the sun rays on my face and dream of spring breaks gone by.

...Lord, let the sunshine hang out for awhile and let us see the wonder of spring through your creation...pretty please?

Friday, March 19, 2010


Someone at work found this quote that we cannot find the source, but that absolutely spoke to me. As you can see if you read here very much I love words and words that are designed to inspire...even more!

This is helping me over a hump right now that I'm not quite ready to share about, but that is chipping away at a wall and some 'soul-scabs' I've had for some time.

"Trust: Belief in & reliance upon the integrity & ability of each other."

I'm struggling a bit with my faith and Anne Lamott helped make it a bit more 'real' for me and also made me realize that I am not alone in my quest for wisdom and TRUTH. The idea of trust has been warped for a bit and while I know it's within me to trust, I also know I have to be careful in whom I put that precious trust.

Monday, March 08, 2010


I heard this quote last week at the end of an episode of Criminal Minds. They have quotes at the beginning and/or end of each episode and this one really spoke to me. It’s a section of a poem by Emily Dickinson.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all.”

By the end of last week I was ready for a reprieve and found it in this quote. Then after hearing this, serendipitously I also resumed reading a book I had ‘put away’ some time ago as I just couldn’t get into it. Now I can totally get ‘into it’ and it is food for this ravaged soul.

I am reading Anne Lamott’s “Plan B Further Thoughts on Faith”. If you haven’t read any of Anne Lamott’s books you have no idea what you’re missing. She writes with such raw honesty and it has helped me to know that where I am is just that…where I am right now. No excuses or apologies, I am exactly where God has me right now.

That said I am HOPEFUL that the ‘thing with feathers perched in my soul…’ is alive and kicking and ready to tackle whatever comes our way.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

A WIld Ride

It's been one heckuva a week. Some UPS and some ditch digging DOWNS. Here it is in a nutshell...

Started the beginning of a nasty (but quick) cold on Sunday.
One of my long-term friends 'breaks up with me' stating she doesn't really know me at all.

Hubs left Monday for a business trip.
Stayed home sick with this quick-cold and heartbreak on Monday.

Tuesday work was BUSY (they saved the work for my return).
Employee I supervise goes a little ballistic about no raise/bonus for the year due to performance.
Found out I was getting a nice bonus/raise for the year.

Wednesday same ballistic employee leaves early threatening to kill self and me.
Employee is contacted by HR and police, now in the hospital.
Another friends tells me she will not 'break up' with me and not to take it personal that other friend did.

Thursday I have security walking me to and from car at work during the day.
Hurray! Husband comes home from business trip and nice dinner together.
Resting and relaxing and thinking about how things went so horribly wrong with employee.
Hoping and praying she is getting rest and relaxation and medication???

Friday is just around the corner and trying to figure out what I'm 'Passionate' about at work so I can use that for team building.