I’m ‘homechurching’ today. I’m not angry, hurt, offended or anything like that. I love my church. I love the people in my church. I love being a member of Journey Fellowship (no, that picture is not our church building...pretty kickin' huh?). I’m not just saying that for the benefit of those members who might read this…including Pastorman and HMTQ! I really mean it! That’s not to say I haven’t missed church for lame reasons too, that’s just to say TODAY…that’s not the case.I have a temperament that tends to do everything in extreme mode. When I take on a hobby…I hobby with a vengeance. When I read…I read voraciously. When I clean the house…I speed-clean and can get really ‘bogged’ down in the minor details of a closet (i.e. hanging like colored items together versus hanging all pants together).
My mind goes into overload and much like the Starship Enterprise, the bells and warning alarms sound, reminding me that I’m reaching overheating status. At which point my brain shuts down and I can no longer process anything.
This is part of what happened at our first church experience (as a married couple). I threw myself into serving and attending and just overdid it. Church was no longer about serving and corporate worship of God…it was about performing and the ‘business’ of church. I became very burned out and that ‘burn-out’ translated into a seed of bitterness and ultimately sin.
I was not honoring God with my ability to serve EVERYwhere. I was worshipping another god. The god of church…the building.
I had to truly repent from that attitude and even now…years later, I’ll catch myself heading down that path and God redirects my steps (when I allow Him that space). Today God reminded me that I’m getting worked up over church and it is no longer glorifying to Him, it is all about ME!
I know I’ve shared before that I have this very crystal clear sensor that knows when something I’m doing is God’s doing or MINE. If it’s all about me…it’s HARD! If God is directing…it just comes together…easily! That includes what I write, my artwork, my crafts, my housekeeping, my job…all of it…including church.
This is easy to write, because God has the keyboard. I am a vessel, a willing vessel, desiring to bring Him glory in all that I do or say. If church begins to become your god, I hope you will hear the one true GOD whispering to you.
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my soul be pleasing to you, O’ Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14
This morning as I am renewed by His promise and Spirit I am reminded that where I am…God is with me, whether it be a church building or just a small ‘green room’ in a home somewhere…
Have a GOD-filled Sunday!
6 comments:
Wow. It's hard to believe we're in exactly the same place today.
While I love my church family and my God, I had to take a one-Sunday break today for exactly the same reasons. I'll be back next Sunday in full swing, ready to serve again. But today I needed the rest that Sunday is supposed to be.
breaks are essential... lets not beat up on ourselves about this!!!- and I am a preacher!!!
Hey....even Jesus took time away, after he'd been busy with things, to draw aside and find solitude. Look thru Mark..and Matthew, you'll be amazed at how many times, after being busy ( you know..feeding the thousands..doing miracles)..where it says that "Jesus withdrew to a solitary place.." or at one point, after his disciples had come back from a ministry trip, he told THEM to go away and find spend time resting! So...WHY do we in the church world think that we all need to go, until we drop..and then we pray strength back into people, so they can what'? DO MORE of course!! NOT!! Take your rest Dear - even God knew when to rest when His work was done - He's just been trying to teach the rest of us the same principle!
Thanks for the blog today! I really never thought about church that way and I am sure that over the years there were times that perhaps that was exactly what I was doing...I was not doing it for "God's Glory"! WOW! that is really thought provoking and yet so simple. I love the fact that you are so "intuned" to hear GOD whispering to you and my prayer today is that I will listen more often for God's whisper.
Blessings,
Nancy
(I found you from "Can You Hear Me Now" and that was a blessing indeed.)
ohhh, i truly dislike the days when you don't post...
I would like it even more if you posted twice a day...then it would seem as it you were closer...
I just like to know you're out there somewhere thinking about writing and then doing it!
Just don't rationalize...say it aloud if you need to ...YOU have the right to rest whether you are reaching burn out or not.
Ugh, you say this just as hubby and I just got recruited to the A/V crew at church. Part of it will be the subject of a future post for me, but I am really going to hate the 7:30 arrival times. I really don't think our pastor sleeps.
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