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Can You Hear Me Now?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

A time to come and a time to go...

I love Ecclesiastes 3 and all it offers in teaching us about time and being in the moment we are in…until the moment is over. I love that we are called to TRUST that God has placed everything we need for that moment to be perfect IN HIM!

You know how the beginning's been the subject and lyrics of many's the part I'm talking about. This is the NLT so it’s even clearer:

A Time for Everything Ecclesiastes 3:9-22

9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.

14 And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God’s purpose is that people should fear him. 15 What is happening now has happened before, and what will happen in the future has happened before, because God makes the same things happen over and over again.

16 I also noticed that under the sun there is evil in the courtroom. Yes, even the courts of law are corrupt! 17 I said to myself, “In due season God will judge everyone, both good and bad, for all their deeds.”

18 I also thought about the human condition—how God proves to people that they are like animals. 19 For people and animals share the same fate—both breathe and both must die. So people have no real advantage over the animals. How meaningless! 20 Both go to the same place—they came from dust and they return to dust. 21 For who can prove that the human spirit goes up and the spirit of animals goes down into the earth? 22 So I saw that there is nothing better for people than to be happy in their work. That is why we are here! No one will bring us back from death to enjoy life after we die.

I put my two-week notice in yesterday. It appears that God really wants me to take this into my own hands. I had anticipated a lay-off but clearly that is not to be…which calls into my deep faith to step out and trust He really is preparing another job for me.

I did have an excellent interview Friday with a company and in a new line of work. I had to do about an hours worth of testing (YES, I passed) and then interviewed for an hour or more. It just felt ‘right’ and they are doing a background check now. So…perhaps that’s my new employer and perhaps not. Either way, I trust God has it all worked out.

In preparation for this ‘faith-test’ I also found out that two more women in my church are expecting children. That makes eight within an 8-9 month period. Ironically enough, the new baby news is harder for me to stomach than the job change. I keep waiting to be at the place Shannon got to with her ‘infertility’ struggle…but it continues to elude me. I think I’m handling it okay and then it’s like getting punched in the gut once again. At the risk of being too honest, it feels like judgment…the ‘barren woman’ judgment.

Well, I’m going to trust the “time for everything” words above and believe God is lining up all the answers in HIS time. Let me rephrase…I’m going to trust…with an occasional grimace or two in this space about my feelings.

Here’s to 2007 and every moment of every day…as I strive to live from the inside.


Anonymous said...

Praying all God's best for you as you follow His will. It's always difficult to step out in faith, but the rewards can be great!

And BTW, thanks for the great comment you left on my blog! I really needed the encouragement!

Dawn said...

I am happy for you! It's better to resign than be forced to leave, IMHO. I trust the right job is there for you!

I know you would be a great mom, if God decides to bless you with that huge responsibility in His time!

Fesity is tiny, but she's mighty!!

Aunt Murry said...

It's a hard place to get to to decide to be a professional Aunt. But my body would not let me have a baby now, even if I found Mr. Right. I know that I am not to old but with the health problems that I have it's too risky. I yearn for nothing more than to be a Mom but I get to spoil and give back. It has to be enough. So I hope that you find your peace where ever it may be, with child or without is smooth. I can tell you it wasn't easy to get here but I know it is for the best and part of his plan.

Happy New Year KP!
All his Blessings!
Love ya!

GiBee said...

Oh,honey -- I sooooo hear your heart with the feeling of the barren woman judgement -- but just so you know -- it's okay to feel what you're feeling, and it's okay to not be where Shannon is with her infertility struggle ... because you are a different person.

You have a right to be where you're at right now... God will meet you there, and he will help you be where HE wants you to be ... with his hand holding yours... in HIS timing.

Still keeping you in my prayers!

Cool Mama said...

Hi! Sounds like God is getting you ready for some new challenges - I pray that a child may be in that future my 'bloggin' friend! I don't know all your story...or how long you've been waiting...but don't beleive the lies of the enemy that your struggle is punishment! That's not the heart of the Father. This world has effected us in more ways than one - physical issues are some that! Anyways...all my sisters struggled with conceiving - so did I - but we ultimatley all did have children...even one thru adoption! Personally...I think that God may have children for you...but whether or they are from your body - only He knows! I keep you in my prayers continually! May the new job prove a blessing - and the year ahead be marked by His love!

Morning Glory said...

This is such a straight-from-the-heart post, Kim, and I admire your spirit. I don't personally know how you feel with regards to the infertility issue, but if that is where God takes your life, He will bring you fulfillment in some form. Simply be accepting of whatever His answer is.

Shalee said...

Kim, I don't know what is more admirable about this post: your flat-out honesty or your firm understanding that God has his plans in his time for you.

You are a pillar of strength to me. And I love that you understand that even if God says no to your having children, he loves you beyond your wildest, deepest imaginations.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Kim, your faith and trust in God is such an inspiration. I can't even begin to understand your waiting in your "faith-test". Know that someone is here praying for God's will and your peace.