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Can You Hear Me Now?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Missing Zoë

"God has delivered us, He has parted waters for us, He has made water gush forth from rocks and sent us our own manna from heaven. He has brought us into our own Promised Land. Will I miss the opportunity to tell the story to our children?"



Almost every week I look at these quotes with an uncertainty that I have anything to offer and if I do, I fear it will be a bit too raw for such a public journal. This week is no different. In fact, this week I was drawn only to the last sentence as the previous lines became blurred words.

If I were honest I would admit that it makes me angry to see so many missed opportunities parents have with their children. If I were honest I would tell you my heart breaks in two when I see a child ignored; either directly or indirectly.

My family sometimes reminds me that I am not allowed to have a voice about parenting children, because it’s a skill developed and I have yet to experience the joys and struggles of parenting. You may agree. I believe that learned skills are important, though I don’t think they’re the most vital part of parenting. I believe the things God placed in us are the most vital things…and these are the things I hope to share with my own children…or with yours.


If I were honest I would tell you I miss the child with which I could share any story. I miss the daughter I would name Zoë, or the son named Eric. I miss the laughter, the hugs, even the tears. I miss the stories at bedtime. How can my heart miss what I’ve never known?

Today I will wipe my eyes. I will lift my head and my heart. I will trust God’s plan for my life. I will hear his voice. I will remember the stories. I will share them when God asks me to. I will remember them for His children.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

you took the words from me... beautifully written.. and very true for my heart as well

Aunt Murry said...

You put into words feelings that I have had for many years. I have neice and nephews and they will have children. I joke that I am a professional aunt but what I really really want is to be a Mom.

MiPa said...

Beautifully said. For years I wanted to be a Mom, and I had given up that dream when God surprised us with granting it not once but twice. And I want to share the stories with them. But I need to share them with my niece and nephew as well--they don't have anyone directly to tell the story. And I know that it was my Aunt who told me the story most of all. Praying God will give you everyone you need to tell your story to. Hugs and Blessings!

Morning Glory said...

Your honesty is beautiful. This was so real and very nicely said. Blessings today.

Sally said...

Kim this is beautiful and honest and heartfelt, I cannot truly know how you feel as I have been blessed with children, but my thoughts and prayers are with you ((()))

Shalee said...

Such exquisite telling of your heart and its fears/wants/love. I love that you share it with His children, namely me.

If it will make you feel any better, I will gladly share two of the cutest kids you will ever meet with you. Just come on up and you can teach away with them. Oh and I'm sure there will be lots of laughter, hugs and, knowing the two of them, tears. There will probably be lots of noise, yelling and the playing of games. (Here is where I'd appreciate it if you would do the teaching, okay?)

Love to you!

HeyJules said...

I know what you mean - I've felt those same things. I find myself remembering that God has a plan for my life even if it doesn't work out the way I wanted it to - that doesn't mean it was a life of waste.

Think of us as your Zoe's and Eric's. We're here - needing to hear a good story and gathering a piece of advice or two along the way. Read to us, KP...read to us.

eph2810 said...

Thank you for sharing your heart on this week's quote. I have to agree with Shalee. You are teaching us sharing your love, hurts and hopes.

Loni said...

Ohhhh . . . my heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing. I know you have stories to tell, and I pray God will give you the opportunity to those around you, esp. children, that you can share your stories with. There are many young women that need mentors as well. May God wrap you up in His arms and continue to give you the peace that passes all understanding.

The Imperfect Christian said...

You can miss what your heart wants most, even if you never have first hand experience. You have more insite than most people who DO have children have. It also pains me to see children who have parents who don't GET how wonderful they are. The ones that miss the soccer games and the chance to bake cookies. The ones who send their kids off to bed without tucking them in and kissing them on the forehead.

You are obviously an amazing woman and God has a plan for you!!

Butterfly Kisses said...

When I read posts like this of yours, my heart yearns for you to have the desires of your heart. And then I think of the Bible verse that says that God will give you the desires of your heart. That in turn makes me think that someday, YOU WILL have that which you desire...a Zoe or an Eric.

Miche said...

K-Be Honest. Whether you have a child of your own or not-though I do hope someday you will have your own- you have the wisdom and love that many parents do not. Children can be touched and guided by any adult. As a child I would have been over the top elated if someone like you had reached out to me. Until the time comes when you do have your own, catch those missed opportunities with the ones around you. They,and you, will be better for it.

kpjara said...

Thank you Lord for the "Cheerleaders" in my life! You all seriously rock' in the encouragement category!

R.G. said...

Kim, I pray that God will give you the desires of your heart. And meanwhile, I'm so incredibly grateful that you share yourself with others... including your friends here in the blogosphere. Peace...

Nancy said...

You are an amazing woman and have such a gift with "words"! I think that gift should be shared with parents even though you are not a parent yet. God given gifts... what a blessing and I am blessed that you share with me.