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Can You Hear Me Now?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Housecleaning

I’ve done a bit of a ‘clean-up’ in my blogroll out of necessity and ‘difference of truth’. It’s a good, healthy way for me to find freedom to write not only what I’m ‘chewing on’ but also what God asks me to write.

One in particular regularly had me walking on eggshells. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, until she dropped me from her blogroll and that freed me to do the same. It was as though a weight was lifted from my keyboard.

Please know that if I have found my way onto your blogroll and you no longer feel what you read here is ‘truth’ or even slightly entertaining I will not be hurt to be removed from your blogroll (not that you NEED my approval…). Trust me when I say…it feels good to clean up what sometimes feels overwhelming.

What’s ironic about the whole thing is the first time I jumped over to a site (one I still love and continue to read covertly) and found I had been ‘dumped’ from her blogroll…I was so hurt and incensed. I couldn’t imagine what I had done (said) to be banished! Can you say “EGO”? Yes my ego was bruised. That in turn had me questioning why I was writing what I was writing…am I just seeking approval or validation.

All it took was a reminder from God that I am not called to sit on a fence (and a few moments of a pity party for 1). Journaling is one of the ways I seek and find truth. Once the word is written…or typed…it becomes a part of my journey. The blogger that had dumped me continually stated hers is not a religious blog, or any type of ‘platform’ blog…it is entertainment and a ‘mommy-blog’. I think we were just on different planes. I still go there and read about the antics occasionally and it’s glaringly obvious that our roads split somewhere months ago.

I think as my own space has ‘evolved’ I have found room to share what’s spilling out of my heart…good, bad, ugly…and every once in awhile…true beauty. I can’t take the credit. If it’s good it’s from and FOR God. I write because He speaks and breaths and lives within me. And when it’s bad…it’s just my flesh breathing a bit too loudly. And you know what…that’s okay too!

Have a dust-free Wednesday!

8 comments:

Aunt Murry said...

Well said.

sarah said...

I think I understand how you feel. I ended up just taking my blogroll off my site altogether, because I can't quite decide what I want my blogroll to be about. I was just linking to all my regular reads, but some of those are not necessarily places that I would "recommend" to others. Until I decide what I want to do with it, I'm just leaving it off.

Dawn said...

Our blogs are definitely "us", good bad or indifferent. I don't think deep thoughts like you do, but I have great memories I want to live beyond me. I love reading all the different kinds, and I love yours whether or not I always agree! You make us all think.

Shalee said...

I second that emotion, Kim. Well said.

Morning Glory said...

I third that emotion. I think we all have times where we have to stop and re-evaluate why we're blogging. For a while it bothered me that certain blogs I enjoyed reading and commenting on didn't return the attention. Then I thought "what does it matter?" I'm not in junior high anymore and my blog is a way for me to express myself, not win a popularity contest. And every once in a while, the emotion rears its head and I have to remind myself all over again.

I've recently cleaned up my roll a little bit too, and removed those who no longer appear to come visit me. But that's ok. We all find different branches of readership and sometimes those paths cross with other favorites.

(I'm glad I'm still on yours)

Nancy said...

What a blessing, you blog from your heart and that's what keeps me coming back. Thanks!

FarmgirlCyn said...

Like you, there are blogs I return to day after day, and others I just drop in on occasion. Yours is definitely a keeper, Kim. You keep me thinkin'!

Sally said...

Well said Kim- you are staying firmly on my blogroll!