His Ways Are NOT My Ways

"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you
may not understand at the time."
~ Oswald Chambers~

When I think of deliberate confidence I begin to picture the overwhelming and overcoming spirit that dwells within me and drives me…when I’m at my very best. I also think of and remember how at odds my spirit and flesh seemed to be just a few short years ago.

It was 1995. I had been laid off of a job that had lost its appeal and the lay off was a golden opportunity for me. This was my opportunity to leave behind a city that had stolen a large chunk of my soul…A city that was literally killing me.

I didn’t even know where I was moving to, until about 3 weeks prior to the cross country journey. It was to be a launching pad for my future career…or so I thought. I moved to Albuquerque (before I could spell the name) with such certain anticipation for my future in Art Therapy.

It was February 17th, 1995, when I arrived in Albuquerque, and it was over 80 degrees. I was wearing a sweater as my friend and I had traveled from a much cooler climate in Baltimore.

I peeled off the layers and began to unpack in my little loft apartment. I spent the weekend with my travel friend…my best friend, until he had to return to Baltimore and his own life. I found a job fairly quickly and began the process of enrolling in a local college for some required coursework prior to my graduate courses.

I soon made the discovery that my coveted Art Therapy program was to be suspended at UNM and I was questioning why God would move me all this way for nothing.

The answer became apparent only weeks later when I met my future husband, the very love of my life and fullness of my heart. Mind you…marriage was the farthest thing from my mind. I didn’t have such a good track record in the ‘love’ department and had ‘given up’ on the whole prospect for my career focus.

We were married about 3 years later. I wouldn’t say it was ‘love at first sight’ but we were together almost every single day from that initial meeting till the day we said our marriage vows. It was a love that grew and grew until it became a synchronized heartbeat of three; him, me and God.

I have since never doubted, that the girl that left Baltimore, certain she was never to wed, even more certain she was destined to be a successful Art Therapist, was actually a girl, God was preparing to become a bride. To find that ‘soul completion’ He had created just for me, in my husband.

Every once in a while when I begin to doubt a path He has me on…I think of this period of my life. I think of the richness I dwell in, in marriage. I think of the richness God has already blessed me with and desires to bless me with even more. I have a DELIBERATE CONFIDENCE in the character of GOD and that is the very seed of my faith that is my life in Him.

Have a confident Tuesday!