I sometimes imagine that the clouds above us actually serve to hide the doorway to heaven. In my mind I picture when Christ returns…the clouds will part and the sky will open and all the Glory of Heaven in Christ will be revealed as He returns to collect all the children of God.
My husband’s mom had mentioned some times ago she wanted to make a calendar of different doors she sees in her travels. I hadn’t really given it much thought until I returned to Albuquerque for this recent visit and started to see the beautiful and unique doors covering the urban landscape. I decided this might be the right time to start “collecting” the photos of the doors I find interesting to include in the calendar or to make a unique and inspirational photo collage of doors.
By now you all know I am the proud owner of a “wandering mind”, while it may have been a source of contention among educators in my youth, it is now the source of rambling words, random salt and pepper for my soul, and a bit of a speed bump to the journey we call life. As I started reviewing photographs from the trip and I happened upon the first few doors, I started discussing, with the captive audience that was/is my husband, the “door of our lives”. In a word he thought the title was: “Cute”. And so we thought about, and volleyed the different doors in our lives.
My initial reaction was the doors in a house. The front door, which allows open admittance to those keyed individuals, and allows protection from unwanted intruders or unkeyed individuals. The front door to my home is also the door to my refuge, to those I love, to my earthly treasures. I open this door rarely, as we enter and exit through the garage, being the evolved auto-mobile travelers that we are. When I do open the front door to allow admittance to my home, it is with a smile and certainty that it is being opened to a friend or loved one. To me the front door to my home is “security”.
I traveled through my home mentally and thought of other doors and their meanings in my journey. I mentioned the garage door which is an automatic overhead door (hey, we’re not complete barbarians here! We do have some technology in the South!). It opens slowly and evenly and makes others aware of its power by the motor humming and spring contracting. The garage door is another door to our home. It is less conspicuous and more secure. It can only be opened by those holding the ‘code’ to the overhead door. For me, the overhead garage door is akin to my prayers to God. I know the code to reach God, and I use it daily…and often and it’s comfortable there. The garage door to my home is “comfort”.
I thought of doggy doors (don’t have one, but need to install for limited animal access), the bathroom door (used to clean, primp and preen), the bedroom door (used for sleep and intimacy), the SPARE bedroom door (used for visitors and storage), the office door (used for work and creativity), the hall closet doors (storage and HIDING things), the attic pull down door (more storage and VERY hidden things), the fireplace door (protects me from direct fire and ash, and reminds me of the heat with which we are formed). All of these doors of our lives represent different things to us.
My husband then interrupted this line of thinking by saying: “what about revolving doors?”
That’s when I switched gears and realized I was doing it again…I was boxing the doors God had given me. I was peering through a tunnel the doors I saw. I had to stretch my mind outside my HOME and think globally.
Revolving doors: God gave me revolving doors to remind me that there is an entry and an exit. Revolving doors sometimes require some effort to “start” by pushing on the handle or moving forward through them, and sometimes they are constantly running and you have to slip in between two of the doors. I’ve seen many a near-miss in bigger cities of elderly people or very young children trying to slide between doors and missing a step or not being synchronized enough to gain entry. This reminds me that revolving doors are not to be taken too lightly. All doors have tests. All doors require thought before entry, at least the first time you attempt…and maybe several times thereafter.
The automatic door seems even easier. These are those large doors that have a ‘sensor’ indicating weight or shadow that result in opening. They remind me of the old ‘slider doors’ on Star Trek, but sadly they don’t make that “whoosh-whoosh” sound in real life. Automatic doors could be doors God is opening for us because He wants us to go through…but they could also be doors opening automatically by the enemy trying to lull us away from our journey. Discernment is required when approaching automatic doors. I can’t tell you how many people I see exiting through the entrance and vice versa. I am not legalistic about it to the point of commenting, but I still shake my head… Clearly, reading is a lost art form!
I thought of Vault Doors. Those GIGANTIC doors used in banks and in high secure areas. They are fire, bomb, water, and hazardous waste resistant! These doors are clearly for protecting us or protecting stuff FROM us. These doors amaze me. They are sound proof, so no noise comes or goes. These doors are heavy with combinations that sometimes change and are randomly determined. These doors make me think of the hidden place of my heard that I dare not enter, or cannot yet gain entry. These are the doors that God is preparing for me to enter. When it is time, they convert to an opened door. I can use these doors to hold earthly treasures TOO securely and that is NOT something God desires from me. Why is it we have a tendency to lock away things we love?
I thought of hidden doors. The doors in a library for example that may lead to another hidden room. I think the initial purpose of these doors was also security. I know that the hidden doors in my own life are often masking something I think I’ve hidden from God. God knows about all my doors, He was with me when they were installed. God knows about all the stuff I don’t even remember I’ve put in there. These hidden doors are much like the baggage I’ve written about over and over again…the baggage I keep taking to the cross and then forget to leave it there. These are the hidden doors of our lives.
As I pulled pictures this morning for this post (because I’m such a visual person, in case you were wondering), I found a picture of “colored doors” (above) and I realized the door, while it’s function is to keep things in OR out…can be made prettier with color or adornment. I think the rationale of “prettying” a door is akin to the makeup I wear. The makeup is about masking or covering what’s underneath. It’s sometimes used as a ‘crutch’ to shield myself and others from a ‘scar’ or marking I don’t want others to see. I think the more adorned the doors in my life, the more scars and marks I’m attempting to cover up! I have also seen others with adorned “doors” in their lives and I sometimes think its pride in their life or a need to outdo others with adornment. At least in my own life that has been a time of adorning doors.
I also found this picture of what I call “the doors to nowhere”. These perplex me. This picture reminds me of when I think I’m following God’s plan and purpose for my life and entering and exiting doors randomly thinking I’m ‘right on track’, when in fact I’m going absolutely nowhere! I hear God say: “Stop, Kim, and drop to your knees, seek my face, pray fervently, and I will direct you to the doors I have for you!”
There was this picture of what I call “endless doors”. I think this is where I am right now with regards to infertility and adoption. Initially I thought I was still at “the doors to nowhere”, but now I know I’ve placed myself in front of the “endless doors”. It could just be magic from the enemy putting a mirror up to confuse me, or it could be a door that I must travel in faith not knowing what’s at the end of the hallway. I do know this…I will not go down that hall alone. I am taking my Savior with me!
These, my friends, are the doors of my life!
This seems a fitting reminder and prayer today:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8