Garanimals

This morning I am wearing black pants and black shoes which means I needed what color socks? Class…class…anyone...anyone…That’s right! Black socks go with black pants and black shoes. Ought oh! The black socks I have on look more blue against these black pants. Why oh why are there 100,000 colors of BLACK. I mean black is black, right? Apparently not in manufacturing. Dye lots and pigmentation of various fabrics affect the ultimate appearance of this same BLACK. Bummer, dude!

My husband ultimately ‘convinced’ me that the blue-black socks are fine with the ultra black pants. Hang on, let me look in REAL light and give my story…well they’re passable and only the most discerning of eyes would be able to see. Thankfully these pants are quite long, even on my 5’11” frame…so my socks won’t really show…but I’ll know, all day long, I’ll know I don’t match!

I need Garanimals! I know this isn’t a new concept because I have been talking about it with co-workers and friends for a few years now, but someone needs to market a line of GARANIMALS for adults…primarily for men, but women could use them too.

I think they’re still around, maybe not? You remember them…the tags had animals on them and you picked the tops and bottoms by the animals and then you knew…it was a sure match! You wouldn’t put tiger pants with a horse shirt, for example. The tiger pants go with the tiger shirt…not even the lion; it had to be the tiger!

Okay, so it limited freedom and expression a bit, but based on what I see people buying and wearing, that’s not altogether a BAD thing. I know we’re allowed some freedoms in clothing choices but honestly some of the clothing I witness on people doesn’t seem quite age appropriate.

I’ve never been a “fashionista”, not in the truest sense of the word. I like to look decent and match my clothes (except for a very brief period of rebellion against M & D). Additionally, I have learned, unfortunately, that what I wear represents WHO I am. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am no more what I wear, then I am where I live. I am a product of my environment to a large extent and without the compass God provides me, I would be on a whirlwind. I guess it’s the lack of modesty that sometimes surprises me. What you would wear to your marriage bed is not necessarily what should be worn to an athletic event, for example. Enough said!

With regards to MEN, the problem tends to center around color-blindness (though I think that may be largely feigned), or disinterest. Apparently men do not court women in the same manner that women are courting. My dad, bless his heart, became one of those men, in their sixties, that wear brown or black socks with shorts…ARGHHHHHHHHH! I hate that! He will also wear plaid shorts with a striped shirt. Some of that has to be age. It’s like letting your 3 year old dress herself. She sort of knows what to put together, but she also has favorites. What feels good to wear is not always what LOOKS good to wear. I think that’s why my dad makes his choices. I don’t know but I’m too scared of the genetic influence to delve in deeper.

Also, most men don’t shop…at least for clothing. They don’t know what goes with what because they haven’t been out there…looking, like we, the mighty GATHERERS have. Really, I think we may be more HUNTERS than them, but I’m not going to say that out loud. Anyone who has shopped the day after thanksgiving knows what I’m talking about.

Imagine this, Garanimals for work, for play, for travel, for summer, for winter, for all the seasons. There could be a line for weddings and formal events. There could be a line for all outdoor activities. Of course, we’d have to use many more animals but that would even work. We could use water animals for all summer and beachwear. We could use the bears and forest animals for outdoor and hunting activities. We could use different types of dogs for day wear. We could use the more ‘regal’ animals for formalwear. It would be so fun! It would make life so easy.

The black clothes could even be sub-divided. We could use different black animals that only go in pairs. For example the black of a panther is different then the black of an ant! Yes I know that is an insect, not an ANIMAL, but we could broaden our marketing more if we included a wider range of “creatures”.

Think about how many colors of crayons are added each year, they now even have contests to name the new colors. There used to be 8. Eight colors of crayons were the summation of my elementary years. There was no BIG box, or my parents just didn’t let me know about it. One of my friends recently bought a box of eight crayons for her 4 year old. I asked “why not the big box?”

“Too many choices!” she replied.

The more colors that exist, the more animal/creatures we’ll need for marketing. This could be HUGE! Okay, someone get busy working on it…I’m going to keep my eye out for these new products, oh and go check your Easter outfit now to make sure the whole thing matches and not just under fluorescent lights!

Happy Friday.