I wrestled with God last night. I keep waiting for my new name, but nothing yet. I’m thinking the delay is in finding just the RIGHT name for me and so many of the good ones are taken. Maybe I’ll just get a new BLOG-name…I’ll keep you posted on that end.
Last night as I lay down in my bed; the place of comfort, refuge, and renewal (usually), I immediately felt full of anxiety and angst and like a pouting child. That is how I approached His throne last night before bed. I had this discussion with God about all these “feelings”, and all the while He listened quietly.
I yelled at Him in my physical pains (minimal pain but such a nuisance as I try to sleep). I yelled at Him about His placement of us in OKC and about my husband in school and about the price of gas and about the roles women take. I asked Him why He made me the way He did when it so often resulted in my head against a brick wall!
That is how I went to sleep…
I woke up this morning feeling even more tired and as though I fought unending battles all night long; tossing and turning…never quite finding the comfort zone of complete and utter blissful sleep.
Apparently I did fight unending battles and God desires a little DIScomfort in me right now. There are some lessons God teaches me that require much less free will, cause’ He grabs me in this state of REM. I do some of my greatest thinking and BATTLES in sleep state. I’m not always fortunate enough to remember the battles, but I do typically remember the outcome.
Last night I wrestled God. Of course He won…and now I sit here waiting for the new name because it was one of THOSE battles. I have the ‘limp’ to prove it. My prayer this morning is Ephesians 4:1-6 (one of my favorites):
“…I ask you from my heart to live and work the way the Lord expected you to live and work. Live and work without pride. Be gentle and kind. Do not be hard on others. Let love keep you from doing that. Work hard to live together as one by the help of the Holy Spirit. Then there will be peace. There is one body and one Spirit. There is one hope in which you were called. There is one Lord and one faith and one baptism. There is one God. He is the Father of us all. He is over us all. He is the One working through us all. He is the One living in us all.”
The Blogger formerly known as KPJARA