Ponderings From Life's Edge....

I was thinking about my 'history' the other day...my timeline, if you will. I have been an observer of life more than an active participant, until the last 7 years or so. I think the point of transformation came when I realized the only way to affect change was to purposefully set out to facilitate the changes you desire. The difference between 7 years ago and the onset of this endeavor and NOW, is my heart.

My desires 7 years ago were self-seeking. I wanted to set out to prove how cruel people are. I wanted to PROVE how indecent we are to one another and find some solace in my own chosen separation from society as a whole. Even more than proving the cruelty of others, I wanted to give them the opportunity to hurt, as they hurt others...as they hurt me.

Being an observer of life I also have an ability to "read" people. I can hear and see their verbal and non-verbal cues (psycho-babble for identifying actions, behaviors and body language). I used my mouth to hurt others. One thing I had learned in my observations is that mental anguish and pain from words is far more reaching and lasting then physical pain. I had lived in that for many years. My thoughts of conquering this were more of retribution then of releasing and forgiving.

I know that sounds totally like I'm some sort of 'victim', which I can assure you, I AM NOT! God has not only given me HIS Spirit, but the victory that comes with it! How can I be a victim, when I walk in the assurance of a GOD who loves me enough to never, ever give up on me.

Okay, enough preaching...where am I going with all this....well about 3 years ago I read a book called "The Heart Reader" by Terry Blackstock (I've attached a link to a study guide on this incredible book and journey)

http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/downloads/DiscGuide-HeartReader.pdf#search=.

If you haven't read it it's worth the half day time it takes to read it, just to see from a new perspective how God wants to use us. When I read it, I thought it would be so cool to be able to do the things these people did in this book. They had very specific abilities, which seemed supernatural, which they used to reach 'lost'.

I realized this past week, as I thought about my history, God DID give us this ability. I may not hear the exact utterances coming from someone's heart (as they did in the book) but I DO have, we ALL have, an ability to see and hear a person's heart through the Spirit of Christ within us. The more we draw closer to God, the more we become LIKE God. Yes, I realize I'm opening this up for dispute and comment, but frankly, people's words don't scare me; remember, I am an EXPERT at words and using them to hurt others. I just choose NOT to.

Where does all this rambling lead? I realized, some time ago, I could use this power for GOOD for GOD! It sounds a bit like some superhero chant doesn't it?

I truly believe each of us, through the gifts God has given us, do have SUPERPOWERS to some extent. We don't always use them for good. Like the inner struggle faced by Batman or the Punisher or all the other comic book superheros, sometimes we need to be reminded of the higher calling of these gifts.

If you're sitting there thinking; 'this is crazy, I don't have SUPERPOWERS.' I'm sorry for you. I believe you can choose not to use these abilities through blindness and inward-focus and sometimes, like me, you can't see beyond your own pain. But when you put your focus, your heart, on others, you will hear the still small voice of God calling you to use the power HE has placed within you. I made my choice, now the choice is yours; respond, or turn away.