I’m either maturing or becoming a bit more cynical (sometimes these two words are interchangeable). I’ve found myself becoming less and less tolerable of inconsiderate drivers and shoppers at the Big W. I find myself trying to avoid all crowds. I find myself actually contemplating the lesser of the two evils: late night shopping at the Big W with the maniacal forklift drivers, or regular day shopping with maniacal oversized cart drivers!
I would actually bet that the way people maneuver their carts is exactly the way they drive their cars. Some people stop and talk in the middle of the aisle (cart askew to block the ENTIRE aisle)…these are the same people who don’t get completely into the lane, rather ride the middle…or park next to someone they haven’t seen in 47 years to revisit each and every memory since that day (in the middle of the ROAD!) Then there are the cart drivers that side swipe, heel knock, and cause complete head-on crashes…yep I bet they drive their cars that same way. There are the people on phones, only half paying attention. There are people with children running free through the store (I’m CERTAIN they don’t buckle their kids in the car seats).
There are the lovebirds walking next to each other as they each use one hand to shop and they can’t take their eyes off one-another. These are the couples on the road where you can’t honestly tell who is driving and who is sitting in whose lap. There are the extreme-seniors who have lost or forgotten their glasses and are trying to push the cart while maintaining control of their walker. These are the same people who when driving you aren’t sure there’s anyone in the car at all, because their head is below the headrest.
I wonder sometimes if this isn’t the ultimate “test” from God and once I SUCCESSFULLY negotiate a trip to and from the Big W, encountering both traffic and PEOPLE, I will immediately pass “Go” and proceed immediately to gold-brick laden eternity. Either that or I’m facing complete mental collapse. Some non-believers might even think the ‘eternity’ thoughts are in direct correlation to the mental collapse. Thankfully I’m not among those poor, misled, antagonists.
It dawned on me Saturday as I attempted to have a shopping day that my bad behavior on the road was not completely due to all the OTHER people. It was also one of the worst cases of PMS I’ve had to date. So bad, in fact that I cussed out God. I’m talking; full-fledge complete and total tantrum level screaming and cussing at God (while I’m driving, mind you). When I was telling my husband about it on Sunday, he was a bit perplexed, though I think it keeps him on his toes to live on top of the God-box lid as I sometimes do, dancing around towards the edge to see if it’s truly a box, or more likely a sphere.
He did finally agree that God is the only one who can handle these tantrums + cussing without either running away or ‘fighting back’. God does what He always does…He listened and He loved. God didn’t shut down or cease to exist because I screamed to Him. He didn’t proclaim: “My love for you has ended!” I couldn’t serve a God who did these things.
While I believe completely, with all my heart that God has a great plan for my life; I also believe completely, that part of that destiny is this journey; the good Kim, the bad Kim, AND the ugly Kim!
I’m so thankful that when the ugly Kim rears her head and in the midst of a PMS-induced, head-spinning, green-pea spewing, sailor-mouthed level tantrum, God not only doesn’t run away, He does one of those intervention type body hold hugs that remind me I am not alone…I am never alone. Nothing I do can separate me from the love He has for me!
Well PRAISE GOD! That is MY God!
Here is my Tuesday Mantra:
“…I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Hebrews 8:38-39
Rest in that truth! Happy Tuesday…
P.S. If you see me on the road or in Wal-Mart this week, please feel free to ignore me out of safety for yourself!