Church #1

I visited a church today, while the hubs took care of a last commitment at our previous church. It still sounds so weird saying that..."previous church".

The church I visited is a church some of our best friends attend. We've actually been to this church with our friends before they relocated to this new facility. We are crazy about these friends and actually met them at our first church in Oklahoma...another start-up that we both ended up leaving at different times.

The church is close to our home. I was able to stop and get a frozen coffee drink and still arrive in the parking lot in just over 10 minutes. Any church that welcomes people with drinks is a good start...this one does! Yes, I realize that sounds a bit 'fleshly', it's just a 'perk' (pun intended) to this church. They even have a little 'cafe' outside the sanctuary, which is also a nice place to go and visit or meet with others.

The church is not overly large, though it is BIGGER than we've attended in awhile, but it was still VERY friendly. The people clearly care about one another and welcoming was top-notch. Our friend is actually one of the greeter's so I knew that would be a non-issue.

The music was upbeat and worship-full. There was a short skit that was funny and memorable and tied into the message and the sermon was also memorable and meaningful. It seems there are many opportunities to serve in this church.

As God always does, he spoke clearly through this message; the sermon was about "Selfishness". I shared with my husband later that I really felt reassured by God, with regards to this tough decision, from some Scripture we read today out of II Corinthians.

I'm encouraged that this first experience was such a good one. When we searched for our last church, it was a long, arduous experience. If this is any indication of the 'new search' we could find a new church sooner than I thought.

I think it's important to note that each church we have been a part of (3 so far) we have grown and taken SOMETHING with us. Not always ALL good...but definitely pushing and prodding us, as only a loving Father does. The upside to doing the 'church search' before, is we learn a little more about what is important to us and what is not so important. We also have already narrowed the search from our past visits. I guess it's a bit sad to realize and confess we've visited probably 12 churches in the past 3 years.

Oh and my FAVORITE thing about this church...they have this really cool 'encouragement ministry' (you know I'm ALL about encouraging), and the church has this little table where you leave 'secret gifts' for a recipient to encourage them. I think that's such an incredible ministry opportunity and what a blessing!

Paul and I are going to go check out a church even closer to our home next week. It's one that also recently moved to a new facility, but has been established for some time.

I'll be sure to give you some input about that experience same time next week.

Big Brother

My big brother called last night. Apparently my mom let him know I hadn't been attending church and was struggling a bit with religion altogether. You know how our moms are always looking out for us...no matter how full-grown the 'babies' are.

I'm not sure what she thought my brother could offer...besides comic relief. He's an ordained pastor who is now working with a company that educates seniors (not 12th graders...elderly seniors) on Internet use. He also rebuilds computers.

I guess he probably does know a thing or two about organized religion and he truly did make me smile and laugh a bit. He offered me the 'older brother advice', which amounted to what I know...be honest about my expectations, realizing they will NOT be met, but being up front about what I can and cannot accept.

He suffers some of the same bad memories of our childhood church and has been denominationally challenged most of his life as well. Ironic he chose that field...that denomination...as a career for many years. He's a wonderful evangelist and I imagine he's a strong pastor; he just has too much passion for truth to 'settle', and that resulted in stepping on some mighty big toes.

The thing he reminded me is to try things that I haven't tried in the past. Try new denominations. Try new environments. Try new 'types' of churches. Give it a chance...you don't have to give it your all...but give it a chance.

I can do that...I think.

I'm probably going to use this space to truly 'work through' what I find in this search. I've already got a list going of places I want to visit and it's always interesting being the 'newbies' for a while.

I still don't know the outcome of this part of my journey, except to say I'm willing to try...I'm just not fully convinced...I guess this is the part where I leave it up to God. He hasn't let me down yet (literally or figuratively), and I already feel this pull towards Him as I stand on the edge of this new horizon.

I also want to thank each of you who commented and encouraged and spoke from the heart. It's always reaffirming to hear others' stories.

I pray your Friday is fully blessed!

I Think I'm Flunking Church

I’m up early and didn’t sleep well last night. I know its God. I know how He works with me. I know how He nudges. I recognize His voice in my dreams. I recognize His hand as He pushes me.

Yesterday was also restless. Actually I’ve been restless for awhile now. Ironically, my husband is reading “The Rest of God” and as he read me a passage from his current chapter yesterday it gave me a bit of peace I’ve been lacking lately.

We met with our pastor yesterday. We have decided we must change churches. This was not a decision easily reached, particularly for me. My husband, as a new Christian (within the last five years) has been to three churches, all very different. I keep telling him what it is I need and what I believe church should be…I’m just not sure it exists. As I reflect, I also believe this is one of the reasons I ‘de-churched’ initially, so many years ago.

I love our current church. I have loved serving there. As a ‘start-up’ church there are always challenges, but nothing too great for God. We just came to the conclusion that the theology was not in line with what we believe. It became an insurmountable obstacle. I quit going altogether as my husband continued with his service commitments.

I’m not completely clueless; I know there is no ‘perfect church’ this side of heaven. I’m just not completely convinced I can realistically ‘do church’ this side of heaven. I KNOW this is what God wants…church; community, relationship, service, etc. I just don’t know if the organization of CHURCH is what He intended.

I want to thank each of you for the input from my last post. I won’t bore you with all the details. I honestly just wanted to say that this is a very difficult place to be right now. I also want to assure my local ‘readers’ whom I went to church with, that I don’t have any ill-will towards this church or anyone in it. I received an email that reflected something I did not intend. I pray there is forgiveness and perhaps some understanding after this post.

The bottom line is I cannot align my beliefs with the pulpit and it would be unfair to all of us to continue in this position. My prayer is that this church grows and continues its Missional desires and that the people reached feel the incredible love we did.

As I reflect and try to keep from being swallowed by feelings of ‘flunking church’, I realize that just like in each of my personal ‘stone of remembrance’…we take with us so much from this experience and that is what I have to CHOOSE to think on as we set out to find a new church home.

More importantly I will remember:
He was…
He is…
He is to come!

Prayers of Godly guidance and peace are welcome.

In Search Of...

When I was MUCH younger, a friend and I placed ‘personal ads’ for each other (sort of on a bet). She wrote my ad and I wrote hers. Suffice to say…in retrospect, it was a really bad idea!

Enough said…

I was thinking about a personal ad for a church...something like this perhaps:

MCF ISO NDC w/H.S. Gifts present.

Desire prayerful group.

Active ACTS community desirable.

Let me translate that for you:

Married Christian Female in search of Non-denomination church with Holy Spirit gifts present. Desire prayerful group that gets together, loves one another, takes care of one another and is open to all newcomers.

Then I thought a step further...what about a computerized church matching tool that might be a bit more useful than traditional dating services.

Think about it. You plug in what your beliefs are, doctrinal knowledge, and spiritual gifts. You could be as specific as you want. Perhaps have Y/N questions too.

Do you believe in miracles?
Do you believe in prayer languages?
Do you believe in healing?
Do you know the Lord’s Prayer?
Do you know the Apostle’s Creed?
Do you know WHAT you believe?
Do you question God?
Do you even speak to God?
Do you hear God?
Do you listen to God?

Then the computer would match you to a local church (hopefully) and place you in the best ‘fit’. Just a thought…

How did you find the church you’re in now? Or did it find you? Please chime in…

Uniquely Me

This was on my daily calender of inspirational quotes and it spoke to me.

"The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. If every flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness."

~Therese of Lisieux

Have you ever been in a contest or competed for anything? Have you ever felt out shined or shadowed beneath something or someone? It could be in a job or at church. It could be in your family. It could even just be in your mind. Whatever it is, it can chip away at the core of our being.

I'm clearly human and have lived by comparison from my parents to bosses, friends and foes, both physically, spiritually, and intellectually. I have been challenged and I have been defeated. I have challenged others (sometimes without their knowledge) and I have won and I have lost. I'm a fairly competitive person.

The funny thing about ME and competition is...I tend to ONLY compete in things I know I"ll prevail, or at least have a fighting chance. I tend NOT to compete in things that I don't feel I have a fighting chance in; i.e. Marathon races, Mrs. America, Survivor, and finally...Graduate School. I had this really cruel professor in college (during a particularly low phase of life anyway) tell me that I would do well to just finish undergraduate studies and not attempt graduate school, because...in a word...I wasn't going to succeed.

Of course I did get my grades up, get accepted into graduate school and even took a couple of courses just to 'prove him wrong'. I didn't finish. I don't regret it.

I think the crossover and what has been stolen from my life is primarily in the gifts God has given me. God did not gift us to compete. I believe He gifted us to CONTRIBUTE to the whole. I believe that these gifts we have...the scent we carry...the strengths we exhibit...are to be expressed in tandem with others. We are called to be a body and according to what I've read in the Bible, our gifts work TOGETHER.

I may never be a rose. I may be a simple daisy, or even a dandelion. I just pray I would quit comparing myself to the roses and other flowers and just stand in the glory of the garden in full bloom!

The Joy of Cubicles

I remember cracking up as GiBee shared some of her cubicle tales and thinking "What fun that must be!"

Now here I sit with the 4 foot maze of walls before me. I can see across all 40-60 cubicles surrounding me. I thought I had it 'good' being off in a corner with a vacant cubicle next to me and a quiet tenant in front of me.

The honeymoon is over! I was informed someone would be moving in next to me...another supervisor (over another department). They didn't give me much information other than I'd have to find a new storage space for some checks and printing paraphernalia.

I hardly gave it another thought...except the loss of storage that I thought was our departments.

Well in the words of Gomer Pyle: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise! She's decided to start moving stuff over today! She doesn't officially come until next week, but she wanted to 'load her drawers' with all her coffee creamers and cubs and 'personal' snacks. I had to find a new place for my WORK related stuff today!

Second, even BIGGER surprise...She's LOUD...I don't mean she screams out (at least not yet, though I've heard she does occasionally)...I mean her everyday, working voice is BOOMING! She is like a human volcano, spewing forth all day! She is LOUD to the point of erupting with each word she carries. Her voice could easily carry across 25-30 cubicles and probably over all the cubicles back to where her staff sits.

I'm almost certain they requested she be moved and I can see why. For one, they can still hear her loud and clear from across the room.

I don't know if you've picked up on this yet, but I'm fairly quiet, keep-to-myself sort of girl, unless provoked or driving (really one in the same usually). I try very hard to mind my own business, but it seems this new 'shared space' will be my business.

Sad but true admission: I struggle with LOUD people. Not the fun, life-of-the-party people, but the LOUD just to be LOUDER than everyone else people! I don't enjoy people who raise their voice thinking that will MAKE me hear them. The moment their voices drone above an INSIDE voice, I zone out, in an effort to protect both my eardrums and my sanity.

Second sad truth: These are the same people that i have to ASK God to show me what it is He seems in them. And the Lord reminds ME, that He died for them too!

I told you it was sad...that's the reality of ME...He's not done with me yet and I hope He never is!

I'll end this south bound post with an uplifting story: I was having a monthly meeting with some staff and we were discussing financial matters and work flow in the midst of some pretty major changes about to be implemented, when one of the women said this to another:

"M, on the xyz report do we...do you do your OWN eyebrows?"

Yes, she did say that.

I just looked up and without a pause said "Could we stay on track please."

And YES, M does her own eyebrows and they are quite stunning!

Life Savior

Yes, you read that correctly...it's not about the five flavored candy disks with the hole in the middle. It's about our Savior...our LIFE Savior.

On the heels of the upcoming Christian Holy-Day I can't help but reflect how Christ has saved me time and time again. I thought I would write a short tribute to those moments in my life when Jesus was more than Lord and Love...times when He was my LIFE Savior!

Picture if you will a girl, just one girl, praying for her Knight in Shining Armor. Now picture a Father above who loves her enough to bring His perfect mate for her at HIS perfect timing. The meeting is somewhat stilted and not as idyllic as one might suppose as the enemy tempts the two to self-destruct their union.

Somewhere in the heavens, on a cloudless night, a Father hears the cries of His daughter and He straightens the once crooked path. He removes the obstacles and replaces the temptations with the everlasting cord of three strands that tests stronger than any temptation can bear. He assures His much loved daughter that He has created this man just for her.

...And two people fell in love!


Picture if you will a girl, just one girl, praying for purpose for her life. Praying that the things she loves to do the most would align with the reason her Father created her. Now picture a Father above who loves her enough to have given her gifts not just at birth, but BEFORE that...long before that. Before the girl was a desire, He gave her intent and purpose. He gave her gifts to accompany her and make her life meaningful and bring Him glory and honor. He gave her gifts to use every single day of her life on earth and beyond.

...And the girl wrote and created and worked for God's glory!


Now picture if you will a girl, just one girl, growing older and unsure if her life has brought Him glory. Wondering if there was something she could have done, should DO to bring her life in line with His will. Now picture a Father smiling on the woman, and holding her tight in His arms and telling her...one day at a time my dear child!

I thank God for this LIFE Savior and for what this Holy-Day means to me...and to each one of us...whether we know it...or not!

Happy Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday!

...Oh and I have SO missed this and all of you!

Blogs That Make You Go Huh?

I would say I'm honored beyond words but that totally defeats the purpose of the "Thinking Blogger Award" or what I'm calling the "Meme of Thinking"...all about words!

I have been honored twice (by two of my favorite no less) and even better than the sun-shiny bliss of being an 'award recipient' (and for WORDS no less...some of my favorite things), I GET to pay-it-forward. I get to pick 5 "Make Me Think" authors in this world of surreal truth, hope, encouragement and sometimes gut-wrenching honesty! Thank you Dawn and thank you GiBee for your kind words and for being one of these people for me as well!

And...without further ado, and so sorry for my delay, I've been blog-free for a few days as I pray, contemplate and consider whatsup with the "Kim and God" show.

Disclaimer: These are in NO order...as I have shared in the past; each 'read' represented on my list is there, at least in part, because of these qualities.

1. This person makes me think, sometimes beyond my comfort level...Claire Joy at Flavor of the Month. She is FAMOUS (at least to me) for not only stepping outside the 'box of religiousness', but for shredding the box and setting it on fire so that the contents can only grow! She has helped me see the narrowness with which I sometimes confine TRUTH. She has helped me grow. Thank you Sister, You ROCK! Keep on writing!

2. Tammy: whom I have had the genuine pleasure of speaking to IRL several times and I hope to actually MIRL this year some time, trust me when I say every word she shares either uplifts or helps redirect my sometimes MISdirected thoughts or words.

3. Sally at Eternal Echoes: A woman who seeks authenticity in life. She grabs hold of each opportunity to hear others and learn from them. She offers insight, poetic beauty and so much more. I never leave this place disappointed.

4. His Singer at His Unfinished Work: I just love this woman! She and I are much alike from what I read and gather about her. She is HILARIOUS first of all. She can put a positive spin on some of the ugliest stuff I can relate to. She has charm, wit, wisdom and her words are laced with love.

5. Erica at Butterfly Kisses: I came upon her blog through another blogroll or comment somewhere and she helped me find "Senior Angels" as well as the recent "Two Weeks of Sacrifice" challenge. She is another one who isn't happy settling down in complacency. She is striving, growing, learning, and teaching both her children and anyone who reads her words. Thank you Erica!

I give each person on my blogroll an honorable mention because without your words, the past year and some months would have been a really uninspired place to exist!

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

NEW AND IMPROVED Fruit Diet

I have a new product endorsement (unpaid and unsolicited). You know the English muffins that come in the orange plastic wrap...I think the brand is Thomas. Well they have a new Bagel Bread and MINI Bagel Bread that made my breakfast this morning, in MORE ways than one. They ROCK!

Ever since the re-launching of the re-cycled Atkins, Low-carb craze...bread has...well...been less than 'toasted'. Rather bread has been BURNED! I miss the days of bagel breakfasts at work and home, even at church. I miss the green chile bagels and the chocolate chip bagels. I miss the everything bagel. One of Thomas' bagels IS the EVERYTHING bagel! Score!!!

Yes I understand the perils of eating white bread and all those starchy carbs as they convert directly to sugars...with my biology degree..but nothing beats the smell and taste of wonderful bread! I just have a hard time believing satan made bread and all bread products like doctors would have us believe!

The other nice thing about Thomas' mini-bagel is it is much smaller than a regular bagel. I know I can go to Panera and get what THEY call a bagel...it's just not the same as the Bagels you could get back East or even the Einstein Bagels. These mini-bagels are still about the same size of a small hamburger bun, but they probably won't kill me quite as fast!

While we're on the subject of diets and dying...are people fools or WHAT? We flip back and forth on the diet thing as fast as the marketing companies commercialize them. We go from carbs, to...no meat, to...no fat, to...no sugar...I could go on and on with these BANS...then there's the flip side: ONLY soup, ONLY grapefruit, ONLY cabbage, ONLY salad...no wonder we're all crazy and feel like we're starving! We still haven't mastered the core of 'EVERYTHING IN MODERATION.'

Satan knows all about our ways and I am almost certain he's at the root of all these diet cycles. You see the truth of the matter (OUR God-inhabited Matter) is that the very spirit within us, God's HOLY Spirit, brings with Him a FRUIT of self-control to help with the moderation of our lives, including our diets. There are other fruits you might be interested in as well: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and that wonderful aforementioned self-control. These are all found in our LIFEBOOK in Galatians 5.

I sure hope you're not on a FRUIT-FREE diet, but even if you are, these fruits will ONLY make you more healthy and wonderful. Claim the fruit friends...it's there just for YOU...and enjoy these mini-bagels too.

Could someone please pass the low-fat cream cheese?

The Truth is Out There

True Story #1: My husband and I were talking the other day about how he can't handle me touching his feet. He literally bucks like a wild animal. Thankfully I'm okay with not touching them...but it got me to thinking...

I asked him what he would do if Jesus were here and attempted to wash his feet?

He said, without pause or second-thought, "I just hope I wouldn't kick him in the head."

I burst into laughter at the picture of my husband kicking Jesus in the head for touching his feet. He then reminded me that since God created him, He would already know not to touch his feet, because God clearly knows how sensitive my husband is, to touch.

2nd True Story: I came home from lunch today, as I do every weekday, to let the 'girls' outside for a brief reprieve and I called for the 'big dog' who is now about 10 y.o. and she didn't come. My imagination was starting to get carried away with thoughts of an early demise in my house and having to find her somewhere in the house.

But somewhere in the distance I heard a slight scratching noise and as I looked down the hallway I saw the bathroom door was closed.

You see big-dog likes to lay in the bathroom, because it's the coolest room in the house and she runs HOT temperature with her long hair. Add to that, she has a 'cone-collar' on because of 'cherry-eye' she's developed late in life. You know where this is going.

Somehow she got in the bathroom and probably as she turned around to lie down she shut the door with her big cone-head self. I tried to open the door but she was so close it was getting caught on her 'cone'. It was funny for me, probably a bit scary for her. I got her out and she headed straight to the back door for some ventilated freedom and a bathroom break.

True Story #3: I still love my job. I am still very busy and still learning new things daily. I had one of the staff call me today and this is what she asked me:

"I'm calling because we don't know what you know and what you DON'T KNOW yet."

I politely informed her: "There is still a LOT I don't know, but I'd like to think I know a few things. Why don't you ask what it is you need and I'll let you know if I know it or not, yet."

I think she was pleasantly surprised I was able to help her. I know I was!

Yeah for KIM!

I guess that's pretty much all my TRUE STORIES for now. Have a TRULY inspiring Thursday!

A Gift For Everyone

The hubs and I see a movie almost every week. We use a portion of our 'blow' money (from Dave Ramsey's FPU plan) and go check out a new release. We've seen some pretty UN-remarkable films of late. But today's ranked up there with "Freedom Writers" and a handful of other really memorable films.

Today we had planned to see "The Astronaut Farmer" and we probably still will at some point, but I looked through what was showing at the theater closest to us and there was one neither of us had heard of; "The Ultimate Gift". I thought it sounded intriguing. It's based on a novel by Jim Stovall. I knew that Fox Faith Films has been producing many more films this year, I just had no idea how impactful they would be. We decided to go see it based on the informational blurb given on Yahoo movies site.

It was an absolute MUST-SEE! Truly, it teaches everyone something. I don't doubt for a second that God ordained our own viewing on this day. You see I was totally prepared to write about how I feel like I'm on "E", in my spiritual tank. What I realize is that I have so much more to give and focusing on what I lack does not change that fact. I have been blessed with much and much is expected of me.

I'm still trying to work through what it all means and how it will play out in my own life, and I know we are on the 'verge' of something...what...I don't know...but something that will take a turn on our spiritual journey.

I have seen all God has brought us through over the past several years and I know we are still safely on His path. It is sometimes bumpy, but always certain!

I pray you find your "Ultimate Gift" and give it freely each day!

Water Water Everywhere

It started out as a way to stand in unity for those in Africa who not only don't have clean water, but also don't have "clean" blood...free of HIV/AIDS. It frightens me that this pandemic continues to deplete a nation as we (in our Nation) continue to thrive.

I drink a lot of water and always have. I do NOT drink tap water. I do NOT drink any water that "tastes". Having lived in Colorado for much of my youth, I learned at an early age that water does not NORMALLY have a taste. I still miss that clear, crisp water. I have come to drink bottled water or filtered water because water sometimes does have a taste. I am admittedly a bit spoiled about water.

When I took on this challenge of 'water only' for 2 weeks, I didn't give it much thought. I just thought it was for a great cause and I really felt God wanted me to do this. I also knew my savings would be minimal from a financial standpoint, but the lessons I would learn could be life-changing.

You see, I also drink tea, soda, juices, COFFEE (I love my morning and evening coffee)...and many other beverages when I have a yearning. So I knew the first few days would be a bit rough.

The first week and a half was horrible. I had incredibly intense caffeine headaches daily for most of the day. I took medicine to alleve the pain, but it continued to throb for the most part. I prayed during that time and asked God to take me through the pain with my thoughts and prayers for those in Africa, not my own lack. The headaches continued.

When my husband and I went to movies or to dinner as we do weekly, and even at home, as he prepared his soft drink or coffee, or tea, I sat with my water (albeit bottled), and did my best to appreciate this clean water instead of complaining about what I REALLY wanted. There were days I thought I was going to cheat, but I realized it wouldn't even matter...except to God and me. I just trudged through thinking often of the DEADLINE approaching, and forgetting about the REASON for this challenge.

My savings, the amount of money I will send to this campaign is minimal in the 'big picture' but this experience is the daily reminder, as I grab my coffee or have some tea or make a decision for bottled water, that I do have this choice. I can have a soda. I can have coffee. There are those who cannot and have never had clean water.

I am thankful to Erica for encouraging us to experience this challenge. I am thankful to God for our country and our clean water and all the many choices we have. I am thankful for our health and for the provision I so often take for granted.

I will send my $40 to this campaign and I will pray for them each time I enjoy any beverage.

Thank you Lord for my health, for provision, for a wonderful job, wonderful family and friends, for clean water and for the ability and desire to do whatever I can to show others who YOU are.