Full Moon?

This morning as I was leaving my home for work, our next door neighbor (the one who hasn't spoken since we moved in...after the 'fence' incident) stopped mowing and WAVED at me. I mean a big "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!" wave.

I almost wrecked. Thankfully I didn't because I would have run him over and that would NOT be good.

I waved back and immediately asked God... "What is going on Lord! This man hasn't even glanced our way in 4 1/2 years and today he makes it very clear he is WAVING to me!" It almost scared me. It definitely unnerved me.

I began to reflect on my recent frustration and angst and how I was just on the verge...and apparently God heard my cry and wants to remind me that He is still the sovereign, loving God I remember. He is the God of miracles; big and small. He is the God that desires us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

In my defense, I haven't been 'loving myself' too well lately either...so the neighbors shouldn't expect much.

Water Water Everywhere

It started out as a way to stand in unity for those in Africa who not only don't have clean water, but also don't have "clean" blood...free of HIV/AIDS. It frightens me that this pandemic continues to deplete a nation as we (in our Nation) continue to thrive.

I drink a lot of water and always have. I do NOT drink tap water. I do NOT drink any water that "tastes". Having lived in Colorado for much of my youth, I learned at an early age that water does not NORMALLY have a taste. I still miss that clear, crisp water. I have come to drink bottled water or filtered water because water sometimes does have a taste. I am admittedly a bit spoiled about water.

When I took on this challenge of 'water only' for 2 weeks, I didn't give it much thought. I just thought it was for a great cause and I really felt God wanted me to do this. I also knew my savings would be minimal from a financial standpoint, but the lessons I would learn could be life-changing.

You see, I also drink tea, soda, juices, COFFEE (I love my morning and evening coffee)...and many other beverages when I have a yearning. So I knew the first few days would be a bit rough.

The first week and a half was horrible. I had incredibly intense caffeine headaches daily for most of the day. I took medicine to alleve the pain, but it continued to throb for the most part. I prayed during that time and asked God to take me through the pain with my thoughts and prayers for those in Africa, not my own lack. The headaches continued.

When my husband and I went to movies or to dinner as we do weekly, and even at home, as he prepared his soft drink or coffee, or tea, I sat with my water (albeit bottled), and did my best to appreciate this clean water instead of complaining about what I REALLY wanted. There were days I thought I was going to cheat, but I realized it wouldn't even matter...except to God and me. I just trudged through thinking often of the DEADLINE approaching, and forgetting about the REASON for this challenge.

My savings, the amount of money I will send to this campaign is minimal in the 'big picture' but this experience is the daily reminder, as I grab my coffee or have some tea or make a decision for bottled water, that I do have this choice. I can have a soda. I can have coffee. There are those who cannot and have never had clean water.

I am thankful to Erica for encouraging us to experience this challenge. I am thankful to God for our country and our clean water and all the many choices we have. I am thankful for our health and for the provision I so often take for granted.

I will send my $40 to this campaign and I will pray for them each time I enjoy any beverage.

Thank you Lord for my health, for provision, for a wonderful job, wonderful family and friends, for clean water and for the ability and desire to do whatever I can to show others who YOU are.

Normal Day

February 19, 2007 "Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow." Source Unknown

February 20, 2007 "Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could...Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays."

I read these as I updated my calender of "Inspirational Quotes" and I decided to do my own 'In Other Words' because these quotes just spoke to me.

All too often I am praying 'Lord, let this day go fast!' Or in anticipation of some big event or vacation I'll pray that God would 'let that day come fast!' If I am enduring some uncomfortable or even painful event I'll pray that God would 'just get me through today!'

I struggle just keeping myself grounded in today's today! I struggle accepting that today, the everyday, common, sometimes a bit frustrating or long-lasting today would move on out and make room for hope-filled, inspiring, sun-shiny TOMORROW!

For me it's hardest when anticipating a vacation or an event long-term and struggling not to rush through the days prior to the "Big Events". There is another time when it 'hits me'. It's at my new job.

Each day at my new job has such a huge learning curve. I feel so inadequate much of the time. I feel overwhelmed and unprepared. I don't doubt that I can and WILL learn this job, I just get frustrated that I have so many questions every single day. I try to think about the many questions i have asked AND answered over my years in the workforce and sometimes that helps.

Tuesday was a hard day. It was one full of self-doubt and uncertainty. I came back to work after the long weekend, full of anticipation and such sheer joy...then as I began working on one program I'm really not comfortable with yet, the doubt set in. I felt completely "LOST" in the midst of a meeting I attended as well, not understanding over half of what they were discussing.

I could almost audibly hear the enemy telling me how stupid I was. He was telling me I didn't deserve this job and I would most certainly "mess it up".

So yesterday I flipped the calender again and here is what I found:

February 21, 2007 "God has always used ordinary people to carry out His extraordinary mission."

And I'm holding on to that promise as I face each new day, taking from yesterday only the lessons that I need for today and letting go of the emotion and the 'yucky stuff'.

Lord, be with me today as I set out to learn more. Help me not be discouraged if I don't know everything I need to know today. Help me ask the questions I have without fear. Help me accept redirection and training with a humble, willing heart. Help me be helpful to others and patient and kind as I interact with others. Help me remember this training. And Lord...use me to carry out YOUR work...every day!

It Really IS the Hardest Word!

SmuloSpace is a blog I’ve been directed to a couple of times. Just coming upon another blog doesn’t always warrant reference, but there’s something MORE here.

The post is about ‘being sorry’. My husband just finished reading a chapter in a book he’s reading about forgiveness. God was dealing with ME this weekend about forgiveness and a new CD I picked up has a song ALL about forgiveness. Not irony…more God-ON-ME!

These are the times God is clearly trying to get through to me. He knows after teaching me all these years that subtlety is not my best teacher. I need direct…pointed instruction. God is good to be direct with me!

This post at SmuloSpace says:

“If I had the opportunity to start over with people who aren’t a part of the Christian community, I would begin by saying this: ‘I’m sorry’.

One of the things that have been on my heart for years is the pain that Christians have caused to others.”

That’s the kind of directness I am speaking of. So I thought about this post…and the many comments that followed. It seems God is speaking loud and clear. If I choose NOT to seek forgiveness and offer it in the same heart, I’m missing the point completely.

So my own comment would go a little something like this:

“I’m sorry to those that I have ignored. I’m sorry to those I have been less than genuine. I’m sorry to those I have wronged in deed and word. I’m sorry to those whom I have spoken harshly to or judged too quickly. I’m sorry that I have offered less than what was freely given to me. I pray that somewhere, someone was able to show you truth in a way I didn’t. Please forgive me!”

It has become apparently that more than lyrically...'sorry' really may be the hardest word!

D is for Disciple

Once again God heard my prayer and answered louder than I anticipated or expected. It seems to return to expectations over and over again…for me.

I was having a less than stellar Sunday morning and really questioning my own and my husband’s motivation for attending church. We agreed we both are in need of some deeper teaching…something deeper with Christ. I also recalled my own desire to do more than just warm a seat at church each Sunday. We tabled our discussion as we entered the building.

We got through the pre-service visiting, the first two songs to lead us into our service time and I prayed that God would break my heart. I prayed that I would just take HIS lead and not try to jump ahead of where He has us in this church. Then a video started on the screens. In the middle of the screen was the word “Disciple”.

The video appeared to be a Rabbi discussing the definitions of the word Disciple. I sat there shaking my head disbelieving that so soon after my own prayer and desire to seek more discipling in our church…here and now…today…God was answering my prayer with a resounding YES and a request to get on board with His plan.

The pastor took the stage after the video and a few things he brought up really hit me. The first was that being a disciple means ‘having your life pressed against someone else’s life’. He talked about the parallel to apprenticeships and how the apprentice learns by watching and learning from his/her teacher.

I listened as Pastorman continued to encourage us to seek this type of relationship either to teach another…or be open enough…humble enough to BE taught. It was absolutely God banging on the door of my heart and yet I continued to hold back a bit.

After the service and Pastorman’s call to us to complete a commitment card to this discipling plan…I quickly ushered my husband out towards the front door when one of my dear friends at church approached me quickly and asked to speak to me.

This woman is one of my sources of strength and leadership and she knows Scripture like someone twice her age. She asked me if I would pray about the two of us entering into this discipleship model. She asked me to disciple her. I informed her I felt we may be able to mutually disciple one another as we have strengths in different areas.

I promised her I would pray about it and while I don’t yet have an answer I know God will definitely answer this prayer.

I remembered the formal ‘mentoring’ program I was a part of with our past church and how much it meant to me and to the young woman I mentored. It was a humbling experience and one that continually glorified God each time we met. She taught me…and I taught her. It really was a mutual relationship.

I continually stand in amazement at God and His incredible sense of timing! I guess I shouldn’t be amazed…after all He IS God!

Have a blessed Sunday….it’s back to work and training tomorrow. I probably won’t be around much til Wednesday as the first couple of days are the busiest. We’ll see!

I’m just now finishing up catching up on my reading.