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Can You Hear Me Now?

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

In Other Words


"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."
~ Erma Bombeck ~

You know those days when the words won’t come. They get lodged somewhere between your voice box and your lips on their brave journey from your heart and soul. I have many of those days…ask anyone who knows me at all. These hidden words are my dreams…my hopes and dreams.

It’s really easy to appear strong and invincible when you walk behind the disguise of a smile and assuredness that when peeled away reveals the scared little girl beneath. The little girl who is afraid the others will laugh if she shares her heart. The child who can’t quite find the words to encompass the fullness of her dream. The maturing girl who knows failure is an “F” word and the death knoll of all her dreams. The grown up woman who has been stopped in her tracks under the weight of that realization.

It’s really easy to appear courageous in the safe places…the places where you excel because you were made for more. The places that replace the challenge awaiting you with the world defined ‘successes.

I trade a piece of my heart for my dreams; each day I deny them as they come to visit once again. I trade a piece of my spirit for my dreams; each day I stroll down the road of mundane security. I trade a piece of my soul for my dreams; each day I deny the purpose exposed in these dreams.

If I tell you my dream will it never come again?

12 comments:

The Imperfect Christian said...

Oh, hon. I think it's just the opposite. If you share your dreams, they are more likely to come true! I hope you find the stregnth you need (that we ALL need) to share those deep, protected parts of us. Why keep the gold all to ourselves??

Tami Boesiger said...

Is God knocking at your heart, Kim, saying, "It's time"? Or is this soul searching self-imposed because you are tired of waiting on Him? I pray He shows you the answer.

kpjara said...

Tami: a bit of both I presume. I know He already has the answers...it's a practice in waiting and HEARING!

FarmgirlCyn said...

Kim, I love the fact that you are willing to bare your very soul to those of us who visit your blog/journal. Remember, seek first His kingdom, and ALL these things will be added to you!
YOU are a blessing to me!

Miche said...

I'm speechless at the beauty and truth of your words. I may not know the dream behind your struggle, but I recognize the depth of feeling. Share your dreams Kim. Shout them from the roof tops. Giving them a voice, the strength to fight their way to being.

tam said...

oh Kim....

praying, praying, praying

Cool Mama said...

Wow! Your words read like poetry - amazing and definitely one of your gifts. I do want to say tho, that if you speak out your dream, it seems to give it life, like bringing some precious piece of china off the shelf and actually letting it find it's purpose in the everyday use of a family. I think dreams need to be shared, so that others around us can encourage us, cheer us on and yes even keep us accountable - "What? I thought you said you were going to...." Dreams need wings...and air to fly high on! Speak them out ....maybe, just maybe one of them will catch the air currents. Last year, I went back to school ( and I was almost the oldest in my class!!)and started learning sign language! My husband and kids all looked at me strangely at first. When I told them I had 'always' wanted to learn it - it was a surprise to them - but it has been a long cherished dream of mine! Something I have always had a passion for - just never told anyone. So..now I have the first 4 levels of sign language ( and we have no deaf people in our church and the only deaf person I know is my instructor). BUT..it was a dream! And now..in October I've been invited to a bible study with five deaf people - unsaved - who found the gospel of Matthew in sign language on a DVD. So..here I go! Catching my dream. I'm not very good, but I am trying my dream! You go girl! It's scarey stepping out but it's alot more interesting and less exhausting, acknowledging the dream. Tell me your dream! I'll cheer you on - in sign!!

Amydeanne said...

I understand.. I think... vocalizing them and letting others know what you're thinking means you either have to follow through, or it goes to pass.

Ame said...

am i brave? i don't think so ... i, too, battle my little girl inside ... i've written about her some - i think you can find out more about her in My Story on my sidebar.

perhaps a change of focus? focus only on what God wants for you today ... while you do that, He will fill you more and more with Him ... then one day you will be amazed at how much of His strength and wisdom has filled you and become a part of who you are ... and then you hear people tell you you're brave when really, it's God doing all the work and you're just saying, "okay, God, i trust You; i trust You; i trust You; i trust You ..."

focus on Him ... He will fill you with His desires and dreams and then make them yours and then make them your reality :)

Joy M. said...

And sometimes when you share your dream, you find someone to help you get started on the path to fulfillment. The very person that can help you, will never know they need to help you if you don't share your dream.

Chaos-Jamie said...

Oh, yeah. I get this. I think it is why I blog. I don't have to see your expression when I share my dream. Because the people IRL sometimes seem stunned at the dreams I share. It leaves me wondering, am I the only one who hopes for more?

Sally said...

wonderful words Kim- it is hard to go the uncomfortable places- hard but worth it- bloggin is a wonderful yet dangerous way to share our dreams