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Sunday, February 25, 2007

Getting "Lighter"

Have you ever had a 'fat' day? Have you ever felt exceptionally weighted down and not just in literal pounds, but in life? Have you ever had that 'weighty' feeling overflow into your heart and your demeanor?

I know we've all been there. At least those of us being honest with ourselves. We've felt heavy-hearted and stopped dead in our tracks weighed down by some oppressive issue. It could be family, friends, job, school, decisions, emotions, church. The truth of the matter is, it could be anything.

I have been weighed down in my spirit so much lately that it seemed even my pores have been clogged with lead. I couldn't feel the Holy Spirit. I couldn't hear Jesus' voice. I couldn't see the Hand of God reaching out to rescue me. Not only that...but being an 'emotional eater' I am physically heavier as well. Whether I feel good, bad, or apparently NOTHING...I eat. Somehow the feeling of physical fullness acts as a VERY short-term 'filling' of the emotional emptiness as well.

I had an incredible opportunity this weekend to attend the Beth Moore Simulcast from her new book, "Get Out of the Pit". I hadn't read the book yet, but my sister had. She really wanted me to attend this simulcast being held at her church. As her older sister, I felt some obligation to go. It's not that I don't LOVE Beth Moore, because I do...it's just that in the midst of my own wavering ambivalence, I couldn't imagine gaining anything from the experience.

How wrong I was! Thank God I was wrong. I was in a pit of apathy that was drowning out the voice of God as He reached in over and over again to rescue me. I kept choosing to slide back into this pit...until Saturday.

I know that pit is still there. I remember exactly what it looks like and feels like. I didn't hate it there...it was comfortable. It was what I had grown used to. God wants more for me! God created me for more.

He has placed my feet on solid ground and I have to choose, daily, to stand on his stable rock of redemption. I have so much to process from this experience and I imagine I will be writing more about what I learned. Suffice to say, I feel lighter by the moment and I think I'm even ready to 'slim' back down to my 'fighting weight' once and for all!

10 comments:

Dawn said...

Sounds like just what you needed! I know what you mean about processing - when I go to something like that, it sometimes feels like "inspiration overload." It's a good thing, but hard to sort it all out.

FarmgirlCyn said...

"...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which does so easily beset us,and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus..." Heb. 12:1-2 I think thems fightin' words! I have to remind myself daily, to turn my eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will look strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. To cast ALL my cares on Him. To take HIS yoke upon me, for His is easy and His burden is light! And this I must do every day...for the weight that I try to carry will try to destroy me.
Thanks...I needed this!

Butterfly Kisses said...

I am so excited for you that you were able to attend and that it touched you so much. AWESOME! Have a blessed week.

Shalee said...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt 11:28

Sometimes the weight we carry has nothing to do with pounds...

Excellent post, Kim. And I'm glad that you're feeling lighter.

Sally said...

Wow, what an experience- so glad you went, and praying that God will continue to bless you.

Morning Glory said...

Your whole post just simply floated free. What a wonderful experience and I'm so happy you've been able to step back into the sunshine again.

Kristen said...

I know exactly how you feel because that's how I've felt for quite awhile now. Except I lose my appetite when I feel like that.

I'm glad you went to the simulcast and got so much out of it!

Rachelle said...

Oh yes, we all have our pits, don't we? I read "Get Out of That Pit" a couple weeks ago -- in one day. It really spoke to me. Glad you're finding the same thing from Beth's message!

Tami Boesiger said...

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, Kim. LOVED the weight analogy. You hooked me from the start.

great2beme said...

I was in a pit too and man is the devil trying to throw me in again, but I have learned the greatest moment in my life is this one. The one I have every moment. It keeps me focused on the present so I don't look for the pit in front or behind me. Glad you liked it and I enjoyed the day with you too.