He's Not a Mind-Reader

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my prayers. In all honesty, I’ve been thinking about prayer in general, not just mine, but collectively, OURS! Yep, yours and mine.

Now don’t go flying off the deep end in offense or concern of judgment. This post is not about judgment (at least not that I know of), if conviction comes…it’s yours, you own it so deal with it! I’ll just try to focus on ME ME ME and my own issues, thoughts on prayer.

Prayer is something that has always come with ease for me. I remember praying as a young child before bed. I remember the day it hit me what I was praying as I said these words:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take!

It scared the bejeebees out of me when I realized I was talking about death! I still don’t really like that prayer. My salvation brought the ASSURANCE of my soul being taken by the Lord, as a matter of fact, He’s already got it! It’s in need of a daily deep cleaning, but He’s got it! I’ll just tweak that children’s prayer to say:

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I should sleepwalk to the street,
Lead me to put some shoes upon my feet!

As I matured, well let me reword that, as I mature, God has taught me much about prayer and its power! I’ve seen the healing of bodies and souls through prayer. I’ve seen freedom through prayer. I’ve seen deliverance of demons through prayer. I’ve seen angels through prayer. I’ve seen visions and prophetic messages through prayer. I’ve met and prayed with some of the most gifted pray-ers you could imagine! I’ve learned from their examples in many areas. I keep a mental list of “prayer warriors” to call on in times of intense prayer needs! These people live “Pray without ceasing” on a daily basis!

I want to be one of these people!

One of the most powerful dialogues we can have with God is in prayer. Yes, I mean dialogue, not just one-sided conversation. The answers don’t always come immediately or in the form we choose or prefer, but the answers always come! My favorite prayers are on my drives to work or shopping or wherever. I just start talking to God as I would talk to you.

Side note: God and I had a discussion early on about speaking in KJV language…I just can’t do it without laughing. It’s like trying to speak Shakespearean (only worse) and it sounds very contrived to me. Key words being “to me”. If it works for you, it works for you, just expect some laughter coming from my end of the table if we ever pray together. The thou’s, thee’s, and thine’s are not a part of my prayer language.

I CAN be goofy in prayer. I think this has always been just in front of God alone, or perhaps the ‘girls’ were there…anyway, many times I sing my prayers to God. Goofy I know, but I love to sing and since I’m never going to be a professional singer, I get a kick out of singing dialogue. Do not ask...I will not do it. Sometimes I create goofy “Dr. Seuss-ish” prayers to God, reminiscent of “Green Eggs and Ham”, especially when I don’t want to do what He’s asking of me.

“I will not go there, Africa is too far,
I will not go there, God you are!

I will not go there on a boat,
I will not go there as a goat,

I do not like it, it’s too wild,
I do not like it, I’m just a child!

Not on a coast,
Not for a roast,
Not with a lion,
Not if I’m dyin’,

I will not go there, in a car,
I will not do it, God you are!”

And Yes, I do say them out loud! It’s like when we’re singing a hymn that causes painful flash-backs and I revert to “Mary Had a Little Lamb". I even showed my husband how it can be sung to ANY song! Obviously, he was duly amazed! I’m quite a gifted artiste’!

A bit of a digression, my apologies!

The bottom line is I am a firm believer that prayers become more powerful and more alive and more REAL as we boldly speak them aloud! God calls us to be bold in our faith. God desires our worship and praise and many times this is accomplished in prayers we speak/sing/create out loud!

The other thing to bear in mind that I always share in discipleship is: Satan cannot read your mind. God totally hears your thoughts and knows your heart, but Satan is a bit dimwitted (clearly a fool to give up God for his vanity), and he doesn’t know what we’re thinking, so speak it out loud my friends! Shout heavenward all the words you have for God and put the enemy on notice that as a child of the Living God you have been signed, sealed and delivered by the blood of Christ!

So there…

Ready, Set, Read!

Books Meme

I have a lot running through my mind in terms of recent visions (not including any sugarplum visions being held til late November, early December), and dreams, as well as current reading, but I’m not prepared mentally to pen these things until I can clarify, through prayer, what it is God is teaching me and showing me!

Instead, I've been tagged by Sally to do Book Meme…I LOVE books, so here goes!

1. One book that changed your life: Aside from the Bible, I’d have to say, ironically enough: “The Celestine Prophecy”. It just came at a time in my life of sheer seeking and it facilitated the lifting of the proverbial lid off the tiny, undersized box I had place all things Spiritual in my life. While I don’t necessarily consider myself a James Redfield follower, I do think the book offers a different way at looking at growth and serendipity.

2. One book that you've read more than once: The one that comes to mind that I’ve read now 4 times is Mike Yaconelli’s “Messy Spirituality”. It always ‘keeps things real’ for me in terms of my tendency to go pious and self-righteous. I look forward to dialoguing with Yaconelli in heaven one day! I can almost hear him from there now!

3. One book you'd want on a desert Island: Not including my Bible, I’d go with a dictionary or perhaps good diverse, thought-provoking poetry (light on words, heavy on thought and meaning).

4. One book that made you laugh: I’d say from a secular perspective I’d go with any of Bill Cosby’s books, but in the Christian genre I’d choose any of Barbara Johnson’s hilarious books and always; Nancy Kennedy is another one I’d read in a heartbeat for laughter!

5. One book that made you cry: I cry fairly readily when reading both fiction and non-fiction probably because it’s a ‘safe’ place to cry and if something I read doesn’t move me to tears, laughter, or deep-thought I probably won’t finish it anyway. Most recently (in the nonfiction category) it was while reading “Searching For God Knows What”. When Donald Miller starts to describe the love Adam (and God) had for Eve, after waiting for so long for her creation…it moved me to tears to think of how much God loved Adam and Eve and more so how much He loves us!

In the fiction category it was Karen Kingsbury’s book “Forgiven”. In all honesty there hasn’t been ONE Karen Kingsbury book I haven’t cried while reading and I admit it freely. The thing that touches me most is that the way her character’s ‘hear from God’ is exactly how I hear from God, so it’s very confirming and faith-building for me!

6. One book that you wish had been written: The Meaning of THIS Step: Holding on to your memory stones!

7. One book you wish had never been written: All self-help books that have the 1,2,3,4,5,6…steps to (fill in your preference of disorder or ‘issue’), unless the steps are God, Jesus, Holy Spirit.

8. One book you are currently reading: I’m reading: Searching for God Knows What (Donald Miller), When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull up a Chair (Geneen Roth) ; and Second Time Around (Nancy Moser)…oh and I’m still working on Discipline of Grace (Jerry Bridges) which I have been reading through for about 8 months now…apparently God isn’t ready for me to finish it yet or I’m just not there yet!

9.One book you've been meaning to read : Hmm…let’s see… I’ve been TRYING to read On Religion by John Caputo and I still haven’t read “Generous Orthodoxy” by Brian McLaren, and now he has the new one: “The Secret Message of Jesus” which I’m looking forward to reading.

I think I’ll tag: Tess if she hasn’t done this one yet…Shalee and Jamie cause they’re both such avid readers…and 2 more: How bout Joy M. and MommaB cause I think knowing what someone reads is very telling! I guess I’ll go let them all know now! And if you want to participate or already have…let me know so I can get some good book reviews/referrals!

Happy Reading People!

Will Play For Money!

I 'scored' Saturday in my find! Take a look at the new $10.00 purchase:

Yep...it's my new reading chair with ottoman, for the "green room"! I saw it at the 2nd sale we went to and as I approached it, I wasn't even sure whether it was for sale and if so, why it was still there. We were early, but there were others shopping around. When I got closer and saw it was actually for sale and the low, low, bargain price, I knew I had to have it. Want a closer peek?

Okay, since you're being so patient...here it is a bit closer....

She's just perfect! Okay, so not perfect...yet, but closer enough to tide me over til I can re-vamp her a bit! She's white leather and she was purchased by the previous owner from an estate sale. Unfortunately due to numerous children and fabric choice it was no longer sensible to keep her. She sturdy and well built. She's got a solid wood frame and the legs of a champion. She's got good bones! She needs a bit of a refluff in the seat area, as you can see and her ottoman is a bit de-fluffed as well, but upon close inspection and cleaning yesterday afternoon, she is prime for just the kind of repairs I can make.

I've been debating recovering her with some loopy, funky, fringy or perhaps chenille type fabric. I even considered painting large black circles all over her, but somehow she's growing on me just the way she is. She's very comfy. She 'fits' me well and I can read or sit with my husband if he's on the computer.

The table sitting next to her is a marble slab table I got for $2.00 at a sale this spring. The antique lamp isn't 'right' but it was perfect on the organ that used to be in this room.

Yes, I said organ. You see when I was young, my brother played the 'sax', my sister played the violin and while my dream was to play the piano, my parents assured me their budget was more the Kimball Organ 'speed'. So, organ it was. My parents financed it and we brought it home. That was when I was in Middle School. Yes I was a late music-bloomer.

I would go to the 'mall' each week and take my lessons; then come home and each evening mom would set the stove timer and I would sit and 'play' and practice for my 45 minutes just before dinner. It wasn't long before I loathed my impetuous decision and ultimate bartering for this beast! Though probably no more than my parents did.

I got to where I could play fairly well and performed in a few 'mall' concerts, but I was no piano player. Heck on the Kimball, the notes are clearly printed and lit up on the keys and the 'second hand' only has to press one key for the rhythm.

My mom had kept the organ all these years, even though she hadn't been played in some time and her circuits were a bit old and untuned (the organ NOT my mom...I can't believe you were even thinking that!). My mother relinquished it to us when we bought our home here in OKC. Our home isn't exactly a mansion and so it was a tight squeeze and my mother wouldn't allow me to just 'gut' the organ and use the empty innard space for storage so she just took up space in the office. I had asked if mom would take the organ back when I found my 'reading chair' and she assured me she would.

This organ was sitting in this room when I left for "Holy Scraps" at church on Saturday. I told my husband we would wait and move the organ when I was available next week. I came home from Holy Scraps about the same time as my husband was arriving home in my father's van. My husband approached the car covered in sweat and I knew the organ was gone.

My husband, by himself, put the organ on a $2.00 rickety 'dolly' and PUSHED it to my parents house, some 1.2 miles away, across traffic. When we walk to mom's, we go across a field, but if you take the streets, as he did...it's a long, traffic-filled walk. Not to mention the 105 degree heat with about 112 degree heat index for the day, when I arrived home.

I lectured him severely about the danger of heat exhaustion or heat stroke (as any good wife would) and he assured me he was fine and did I want him to put the chair in the office. I told him I would move it myself to get seated and cool down! He carried the chair into the office and then finally sat down.

The organ is now gone and in it's place is the $10.00 reading chair and ottoman. I'm hoping to read many books in this space and I'm now almost completely ready to concentrate on the 'blue room' which I have mentally planned and designed and can't wait to get it done!

Tomorrow is Monday, enjoy your Sunday evening and stay cool!

edited 08/07/06 to add title and... My husband also pointed out he could have put a sign on his back that said: "will play for money" and he did get an offer for help at one point, but being the MANLY-MAN he is...did it himself! and the $2.00 dolly he commented to say was actually $40.00 was purchased at a garage sale two years ago for $2.00!

Twitterer Hears...for 1st Time!

http://generatorblog.blogspot.com/

edited to include source of generator for these cool doo-hickeys!

Yep that's right...I got to talk to "Tam", and Yes as a matter of fact I DO feel special! She's only one of my favorite people in the whole world! She's one of those people who, as it turns out, is in my family. No, I don't think we share direct genetic material, but she's a part of the family I would create if I could make the perfect family for kpjara! And she is a sister in Christ!

We talked and talked and I got to ask questions and more questions and she answered and answered and we talked some more. I even answered questions she asked and I don't always do that. I don't doubt for a second we could have talked all night, easily, but in as much as my eyes are burning this morning from trying to stay up late like some sort of immortal acting 16 year old, I'm paying today...and you know what I'd do it again, as a matter of fact I look forward to doing it again, hopefully soon!

So join me in a shout out to "Tam" and all her brood, here's praying you have the most awesome-est of weekends!

In other news: This weekend is "Holy Scraps" at my church (our women's scrapbooking group) and I'm so looking forward to making some headway on a 'special' project due soon as well as having some fun/fellowship with some of my favorite churchy-women (and of course M&M's will be consumed).

I finally got the "before" pictures of the project room I am doing. I made it look a little worse than usual so the after pictures live up to the effect...sort of like extreme makeover when they strip the poor soul of all their makeup and show the REAL person before! There is extra dog hair on the current comforter and a few 'skewed pictures' as well as a towel drying on my vanity chair in there!

I got about 5 or 6 pillows made last night out of this .25 cent funky green fabric scrap I purchased at a garage sale early this year (before this project came to fruition), and also two table runners I got dirt-cheap at TJ Maxx I like this store almost as much as two of my other favorite haunts: this one and this one! I could get myself in plenty of trouble at any of these places. I'm a total bargain hunter and have lost out on purchases because I want to wait for one more mark-off, that's the one thing that saves our budget.

I'm thinking of doing a post of my cost-savings items. I'm not quite as avid a shopper as I used to be; God really has done a work in me to break the materialism I was existing in. Everyone once in a while I can still hear Him whispering: "You don't need another decoration, Kim!"

Still if you're looking for frames, home decor, bedding, etc., let me know I'll help direct you by color/brand/thread count/crystal pattern! This week, in addition to the table runners for under $4.00 apiece, I also picked up a HUGE mosaic 'stained glass' vase that has lime green, turquoise blue AND pink...so it could go in either the green room or the future "blue room", for $8.00! I could only beat that at a garage sale, which I have also been faithfully perusing (during the early pre-heated hours of 7:00-9:30 on Saturdays). I've picked up a few 'finds' and you'll see those soon as well!

I think that just about covers it...oh and the hubby and I are going down to Norman for dinner tomorrow evening to another friend/fairly new blogger's house: "Serenity". We've been friends for awhile now and it's bound to be a fun-filled evening!

Praise GOD it's raining again. We got a nice long rain-storm last night that cooled the whole city down from it's overheated state! It's raining big fat, heavy drops of soul-cleaning, skin-cooling rain. It's the kind of rain I would be out playing in if I were home today! I love to walk and dance and SING in the rain (I just have to watch out for lightening and large swirling clouds) in Oklahoma!

Have a beautiful Friday!

Check it out!

Funny, Funny, Funny Post: Close Second is one of the funniest writers I've ever had the pleasure of reading! Go now...be sure to use the facilities first and do not attempt this with food or beverage, you will spew it out your nose....I warned you! He's got a new post, but his archives are just as funny!

Another funny, funny, funny, newer read for me I found through a 'call out at Maced With Grace is Humble Beginnings; again fair warning about content and laugh projection potential!

Go read em'

Blessed Among Women

I am sitting in this office today trying to focus on the blessings in my life and frankly it’s one of those days when even coming up with the blessings seems an arduous task! I MUST be a direct descent of the author of Lamentations…which is suspected to be Jeremiah…so not altogether a bad heritage! Though with my MOUTH, it’s more likely Isaiah.

So…I’m sitting here, and today’s lamentation is this lack of work (you’d think I’d be thrilled, but idle time has never been among my strengths). I love/need to go-go-go-go/do-do-do-do! It’s just the way I’m wired, no excuses. I have (and I’m NOT joking) approximately 25 minutes of work to do today and stretching that out over the course of 8 hours is a task…wait it’s already 9:46, so actually only about 6 more hours. My mind starts traveling to all the things at home I could be working on…however the pay is so much less there! I suppose I’m preaching to the choir now, aren’t I?

Before you start in on the lecture of finding some work to do…let me just say that I’ve done that the past couple of days and now literally there is nothing in my in-box…no I’m not kidding! I’m just that good at what I do…okay and it’s a slow time here. I’ve thought about causing some injuries to beef up the business in this medical field, but somehow that just doesn’t feel right.

Then this morning I slept a bit later than usual so as I was speeding out the door (no, I don’t know why), I scooped up all the paperwork I wanted to bring in to fill time and part of that was a card from my wonderful husband. He left this heartfelt card for me to find today and it was so touching and so true!

Side note: card shopping is an art form to me. I love to shop for cards but I won’t buy a card for someone unless it says exactly what I mean. It’s sometimes difficult finding just the right card because they are sometimes overstated and less often, understated.

My husband knows and also follows this truth. For example he won’t buy a card for his dad (who wasn’t around during his youth) that says: “Thanks for always being there for me!” because it just ain’t true. So the sentiment on my card this morning means even more to me! Thank you darling…you continue to remind me of how much love one person can offer and not deplete their source!

My card is sitting on my desk for all the WORLD (translation: my coworkers) to see just how loved I am (and loveable I can be…at home). One of my coworkers came by and politely asked if she could read it, after giving her the assent, she read it and of course “oohed and aahed” appropriately. We both agreed I was highly blessed among women!

And so here I sit now, 10:01 a.m. and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, next to God’s love and redemption through Jesus, my husband is my greatest blessing and that’s a really wonderful place to be! He can irritate me more than almost anyone just because of that rib shortage he has, but he also knows exactly how to make me smile and laugh and love and most importantly how to be loved.

Thank you God for my husband and for making us a perfect fit! You are the Yin to my Yang. Help me remember this blessing everyday!

Have an awesome Thursday! Do something fun today!

P.S. Yep...here it is...#200. Maybe I should've gotten a cake like they do on tv!

You Know What This Means?

This is post #199. Tomorrow will be #200!

Absolutely unbelievable.

I knew I had a lot to say...but honestly...I never imagined!

199 words of my life so far this year:

Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, rest, sleep, husband, chocolate, dance, flip-flops, nail-polish, color, shaved-ice, bling, words, wisdom, graduation, baby, Abu, summer, sunshine, imagination, creativity, freedom, journal, write, soaring, comfy, warm, listen, talk, friendship, paper, pen, shapes, blog, encourage, prophecy, healing, union, helper, wish, dream, laughter, giggle, wiggle, envision, music, children, random, open, thoughtful, articulate, polite, presence, everlasting, forgiveness, grace, mercy, retire, gift, spiritual, soul, sensory, perception, overhaul, revisit, vacation, total, flirt, gesture, observe, clean, pure, fresh, new, renewal, glad, proud, passion, longevity, endurance, trustworthy, pray, wait, before, after, give, live, hope, deny, please, thank-you, cornerstone, heart, meditate, mouth, praise, worship, sing, song, shout, mountaintop, valley, travel, journey, roam, resume, pause, pink, rainy, everything, Jehovah, provide, mosaic, reach, try, step, pout, greet, hug, hold, kiss, gather, list, erase, enter, escape, stroll, exercise, blink, wink, treasure, filter, provide, photograph, design, bubble, slate, custom, special, catalyst, conduit, quick, trouble, cycle, water, miracle, isolate, bonsai, elaborate, vibrant, unbelievable, unseen, unheard, healthy, quest, palatable, memory, knowledge, steadfast, girl, romance, dessert, certainty, emotion, rescue, merit, glance, season, study, rock, Church, fellowship, pastor, lead, approach, provide, success, show, tell, construct, coast, early, preamble, movement, momentum, Oklahoma, family, sleep

Standard Deviant

Standard Deviation - a statistical measure of the amount by which a set of values differs from the arithmetical mean, equal to the square root of the mean of the differences’ squares.

KPJARA Hypothesis: If this is the definition of Standard Deviation; then I am a standard deviant. I’m not sure how the ‘square root of the mean of the differences’ squares’ looks in life, but trust me, I am ‘different from the mean’.

This is not an altogether bad place to be most of the time. And think of the creative excuses I have access to on a regular basis.

I started Donald Miller’s “Searching For God Knows What” today and while reading the 15 pages of chapter one, I laughed out loud six times. I don’t mean that uncomfortable, unexplainable laugh, but a real live, out-loud ‘You are not going to believe what I just read’ laugh! It’s like when the new issue of Saturday Evening Post comes in and someone copies the ‘funny page’ to pass around the office. I can’t believe I’ve never read “Blue Like Jazz” if this is how Donald Miller writes.

Don’t tell my husband…but I think I’m in love! Okay so maybe not in love, but I do love what I’ve read so far.

Miller spends some time expounding on his beliefs of those ‘self-help’ 4-step formula books that saturate even the Christian Bookstores. I’ve read many in my time and some have been somewhat effective but like many a Bible study, once it goes back on the shelf there is no real lasting change and soon the old habits return, sometimes stronger than before. It reminds me of those roaches that will outlast Armageddon. They become more and more immune to every chemical or murderous attempt at their life.

My bad habits, similarly, realize that my brain has learned something new, so they have to find some new, un-penetrated method to trip me up…and they usually do!

Here’s what Miller has to say about God’s truth making lasting change in our lives:

“…when Jesus was walking around on earth He taught His disciples truths through experience, first telling them stories, then walking with them, then causing stuff to happen like a storm on the sea, then reiterating the idea He had taught them the day before. Even then it took years before the disciples understood, and even then the Holy Spirit had to come and wrap things up. So it made me realize that either God didn’t know about the formulas, or the formulas weren’t able to change a person’s heart.”

He then goes on to say:

“I stopped looking for the formulas and tried to understand what God was trying to say. I mean the essence of God’s message to mankind, wasn’t a bunch of hoops we needed to jump through to get saved, and it wasn’t a series of ideas we had to agree with either; rather, it was an invitation, an invitation to know God.”

This is too good to be true! What I think Miller is proposing, is that God didn’t give us an outline or ‘formula’ to follow in our lives, heck no…He laid a foundation and added some free-will so that even the foundation involves choices we must make. Miller reminds us to think about the summation of our goal is to get to know God intimately!

I guess speed-dating really wasn’t God’s idea!

Happy Tuesday!

Certain Uncertainty

I finished “Buck Naked Faith” today and it ended as well as it began. I think Sandras did a good job of coming to conclusion with clear Biblically based aid in finding the cleansing and purpose many of us are seeking while sifting through some incredible pain.

I’ll be starting the Donald Miller book next: “Searching For God Knows What”. The title just seems to be exactly where I am on my journey. Sometimes I feel a bit like Dorothy standing on the yellow brick road and coming to a crossroads. Which road do I take? Which direction do I choose?

Other days I can’t even get myself to stand up…much less walk and choose a path. It sounds more pathetic than it is. I make sure to keep my feet and hands clear of the road so as not to impede traffic flow or risk life or limb loss. I’m a bit conflicted…not stupid.

I don’t honestly remember another time in my life when I felt so uncertain or so unsettled. I don’t know if it’s a natural part of the aging process in my journey or if there is something wrong with my synapses not synapse-ing as they should. For a person who NEVER has any trouble making decisions, this creates quite a conundrum!

It probably doesn’t come as a shock to any of you for me to admit I am one of those people who honestly felt they could create their own destiny. Now I know that’s a crock. I don’t want to spoil the next part of anyone’s journey, but I do want to give you fair warning…while you may be able to influence your immediate path, your journey was designed WAY before you were a thought; much less a crying, back-talking, occasionally back-sliding person who thinks she knows more than she does.

Did I just say that out loud? Clearly some repentance is in my immediate future! In any case, the longer I have been on this journey, the more confused I have become. The funniest part of the whole thing is if I follow the path I THINK God is lining up for me, I am in for one heckuva ride!

It reminds me of the first 5-10 times I went to an amusement park. I was one of those scaredy-cats that refused to even stand in line for the roller coaster. The day I finally broke down and road (even with my eyes closed tight) and amidst the loudest scream you may ever hear, I experienced the most incredible physical feeling. It would never be rivaled or replaced. So perhaps this next part of my journey will be like the roller coaster…once I finally face my fear and get on the darn thing…I’ll find not only some incredible joy, but perhaps a life changing experience. Now…will someone give me a hand so I can stand up on these dang bricks…I should have worn more sensible shoes!

Down AGAIN!

Headline: "Blogger downtime begins to take toll on tired users. 'Sick and Tired' becomes new catch-phrase for blogger.com.

Well, blogger won't upload my pics again!~I just had this cool picture to go along with a post for Overwhelmed. She's having a celebration of bloggers who have posted their 100th post at some time! She is shooting for 100 links So if you've got a 100th post and want to check out others...click on over there and put in a link! I suppose this downtime is for the best, as today is month end at work, which means BUSY-BUSY-BUSY!

I'm off to run report upon report upon report which no one really reads, but which must be run because "that's how we've always done it!" On that note...try doing something a bit different today and see how it is.

Here is something else to ponder today: When was the last time you practiced random acts of kindness and what are you 'paying forward' today?

I hope your Monday is full of picture perfect moments...even if you can't post em'! No I'm not bitter...I'm just saying...

Did You Hear That?

I went to my FIRST concert last night. Okay, so allow me to qualify that a bit if you will. I had purchased tickets to a certain concert, while in college, of a white-gloved performer during his “VICTORY” tour, though I ended up selling the tickets for more needed books/food while in college. I also purchased tickets to an Air Supply concert (YES, I’m THAT old), also while I was in college, and also sold, in order to meet basic needs.

I did actually attend a concert at the Oklahoma Fairgrounds, though I only stayed for a few songs before I felt completely over-crowded, over-heated, and over-stimulated to each of my six senses. The same thing happened during one other ‘trial run’ at a White Snake concert in the late 80’s. I just didn’t think I was wired to enjoy a concert and frankly I was okay with that.

So when my husband asked me recently if I would be interested in going to a Christian Concert I was at first a bit leery. When he told me the venue and the band I rethought my uncertainty. It was Delirious and it was held at the SNU campus church. I decided worst case, it would be like a crowded Sunday at a BIG church and I’ve done that without pain and suffering, well without TOO much pain and suffering. Plus it was Delirious and I’m a fan!

It was ‘open seating’ but we didn’t rush to be 1st in line…we arrived 45 minutes early and we were still seated well within the first 15 rows. It wasn’t overcrowded. As a matter of fact it wasn’t crowded at all. There were probably 400-500 people there….maybe less. It was LOUD, but intimate.

The opening band was definitely geared towards the teen-aged audience, but they weren’t unbearable. When Delirious took the stage I was struck by their interaction with the audience and ability to lead us all in worship and singing. Even with the small audience, I didn’t feel ‘shorted’ by their ability and desire to reach us and lead us. As they sang I began to feel both the pumping of my heart (from the noise level) and also the piercing of my heart (from the Holy Spirit).

The first clear presence/voice I heard was during the performance of “Majesty”. The Holy Spirit began to move and I heard the Lord ask me; “What are you willing to lay down, to sacrifice for me?”

I began to list off the things I was holding on to…He asked for more. I realized I hadn’t really laid down my own marriage and my husband and his life and purpose, or my own church and church service. Last night I laid them down before Him and I’m not kidding when I say: I felt FREEDOM. I felt such freedom and ‘lightness’ as these things and worries and thoughts that had plagued me were lifted from me.

Later during an instrumental time of worship, and an incredible guitar solo, I was led to think about a book I hadn’t thought about in a LONG time. You may remember it: Tommy Tenney’s “God Chasers”. I felt my mind and soul drifting, it was almost like the way I imagine ‘astral projection’ would be. It was more moving than any physically manifested spiritual movement I’ve felt in the past, if that makes sense.

There is a part of “God Chasers” that talks about a church that was praying for the Holy Spirit to come into their presence. They congregated together and waited and waited…and waited…and waited…and when the Holy Spirit came into their midst, even after hours of experiencing that…no one wanted to leave. They stayed together praying and EXPERIENCING the Holy Spirit for like 18 hours.

God asked me when I would get to this point. When would I seek after the Holy Spirit with such passion that I wouldn’t want to leave His presence when He sent His helper. When would I stand and wait and TRULY experience the Holy Spirit and ALL the Holy Spirit wants to do with and for and through me.

This comes on the heels of some major needs in or church. I shared with my pastor this morning that I while I was completely committed to our church, I wasn’t doing everything God had called me to do with regards to prayer and service and seeking and EXPERIENCING the Holy Spirit for our church. God revealed to me that as our church seeks and waits and begins to experience this power, then and only then will we experience the ‘breaking’ He is preparing to offer us.

I’m clearly having a hard time putting into words this experience, and I doubt I could ever give it justice verbally either. Suffice to say, I’m so glad I went and I thank God that He continues to talk to me so clearly. I pray my spiritual ears would always be open to hear His prodding and pushing and that I would be in His position of movement or silence as He directs.

With regards to the title of this post and my blog...I'm sensing a trend here...at least in MY life!

Have a super blessed Sunday! Did you hear that?

Home Sweet Home!

It's time for Boomama's Tour of Home's and I'd like to welcome you all to Casa kpjara...

I wasn't sure I'd recognize my front door. We always use the garage. This is the picture I took outside our home...and I'm pretty sure it's the front door!

You know me...I did a special effect on it..."Fresco" I think.

Come on in. Let me take you to the office, where I do my writing (when I write from home that is). It's where I'm writing this now. You've seen this room after we painted it in the spring...the "Green Room".

I love this room. I still feel the same peace I did when we originally painted it. The desk is 'new'. It's a $7.00 garage sale find that fit in my car...so it became my 'new' desk. It's got great bones and a nice shape with a beautiful color. I'm still looking for a reading chair for this room, so keep your eyes peeled!

The next space is the main 'living area'. In our home it's the only living/family room, and yes those are the 'girls'. That beauty in the front (the yellow one) is Mimi. She is a Golden Retriever -Cocker Spaniel mix. The little black and white 'runt' in the back is Bubba and she is mostly Rat Terrier, but mutt at heart. This is where we watch movies or 'veg' while daddy is at work or in school. I tried home-schooling them, but they only got to counting and basically just wanted to play...so clearly the brain function comes from their 'dads' side of the family, LOL!

Next is the kitchen and frankly this is more my husband's stomping ground. He does the majority of the cooking...though I do the 'baking' (uh, and I covered the refrigerator with magnets and pictures and 'stuff'. I DO love to bake: cookies, cakes, pies and pretty much anything on the sweet end of the food chain (chocolate or coconut are a bonus).

Finally is the "my choice" photo of a favorite room or spot in the home. I decided not to take you into my bedroom or the 'spare bedroom' because they just aren't done yet. The spare bedroom is actually a work in progress as we speak and I will 'blog' about it upon completion. Suffice to say it's going turquoise (walls) with a 'scripture' border (yes I did say Scripture, as in the Holy Bible). Hey, don't freak on me, I was originally going to do all the walls and the ceiling in the whole Bible, but decided it was too much work and I found this new comforter that is turquoise and lime green and royal blue! You'll see soon! It's slated for the Labor Day weekend project.

One of the favorite 'spots' in our home is the 'cross wall'. I collect crosses from places we've been and some are gifts and some are just unique 'finds'. Without further ado...the cross wall! I 'fresco'd' it as well! Strange how that light circle formed around them isn't it? I didn't do that intentionally, it just turned out that way in photoshop.

Thank you so much for visiting! I hope you enjoyed this visit to Casa kpjara...and ya'll come back! Next time we'll have coffee and fresh cookies, k?

Have an awesome Friday!