Zoom Lens

I love in photography how close you can get to a shot. Some of these telephoto lenses can zoom up so close you aren’t even sure what you’re looking at.

I’m not so crazy about this feature on my own face, as it tends to show every single skin blemish or discoloration from years of sun abuse with application of sunscreen a year too late. It shows my freckles and wrinkles and ‘age’ spots. The zoom features shows it all and gets me stressing about my ‘imperfections’.

However, when you pull that zoom feature back and take a picture from 5-10 feet…it’s much more forgiving. The little tiny imperfections don’t seem nearly so daunting. I’ve come to realize the same is true in life.

Our pastor spoke last week about our tendency to ‘zoom in’ on all our problems and challenges. We zoom in so tight it appears the only thing we have is problems or challenges. Sometimes we need to zoom OUT and look at the bigger picture. We’ll begin to see just how BIG that problem or challenge is or isn’t.

We zoom out and see family and friends and others’ with even bigger problems and challenges. We see our city and state. We zoom out even more and begin to see this great big universe we live in and isn’t it amazing how much smaller our own problems seem and how absolutely and utterly amazing it is that God can hear our teeny tiny voice among the gazillions of others…and He cares enough to answer our prayers.

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to work on zooming out of my own problems and challenges and see them for what they are...

I am...

I got this from over at B Brats place and it looked 'insightful', so I thought for lack of anything better to write about, I'd use it as an excercise.

I AM … an 'old' soul.
I WANT … to help change the world...for good!
I HAVE … everything I could ever need.
I KEEP … secrets.
I WISH I COULD … fly.
I HATE … prejudice and the enemy's mind games.
I FEAR … spiders!
I HEAR … whatever I open myself to.
I DON’T THINK … I could ever be a politician.
I REGRET … nothing. Everyting I have done or experienced is the culmination of who I have become.
I LOVE … my husband, with my whole heart!
I AM NOT … weak.
I DANCE … during worship.
I SING … all the time! and I make up songs too.
I NEVER … pass up chocolate.
I REALLY … thank God for my health!
I CRY WHEN I WATCH … so many things...
I AM NOT ALWAYS … beautiful on the inside or the outside.
I HATE THAT … I cry so easily.
I AM CONFUSED ABOUT … my life's path right now.
I NEED … to study God's word more often.
I SHOULD … Thank my husband for all he does.
I NEED ... to remember.

Since we're on this insight journey I came across a wonderful quote from a magazine. I don't have the source, but here's the quote:

"Heroes are not people who save the world. Heroes are people who serve the world."

Think about that!

Swimming Upstream

My heart is feeling for the salmon this morning. Their battle upstream is often times accompanied by danger and injury and sometimes it’s even fatal. I feel like I am also swimming upstream; however mine is not an innate behavior, it is learned…it is a calling.

I’ve been facing many obstacles lately. Many of these obstacles are due to this ‘calling’. Now I would be the first to admit I’ve been the type of person that often takes the opposite stand (whether it’s my stand or not) on issues. Perhaps it’s a natural desire to debate. Perhaps it’s my flesh crying out for war. Whatever it is, I have grown somewhat accustomed to being on the ‘other’ side of many a popular voice.

My position at work requires that sometimes I get the ‘not-so-fun’ task of redirecting others, or reminding others of the task at hand. People don’t like to be redirected…heck I don’t like to be redirected or reminded.

My political beliefs don’t always line up perfectly with those around me. Sometimes they do…though more often they don’t. And that’s okay. I’ve found its okay to let others’ go on and on and I just quietly listen. I’ve also learned how ridiculous these people come across. I think sometimes the harder you verbally fight for something the less its worth fighting for. I’ve also seen the immaturity of these actions and relish the fact that I am past that point in my life.

My personal beliefs and ethics don’t always line up perfectly with those around me. And that’s okay too. Once again, unless God asks me to speak, I’m working to keep my own mouth quiet and use those two things on the side of my head to process incoming information from a higher authority.

I think what I’m trying to lean on is I did not make these choices alone. I believe the choices I have made, the passion I have is for a reason. I am also trying to remember that the salmon do not swim alone. They swim together and use that as another way of ‘encouraging’ one another upstream. I’ve felt myself pulled downstream in some areas of my life lately, but I’m back on track and pushing upstream once again.

Evolution of a Dummy?

First of all I know no one will read this because there are no 'dummies' here. I just got to thinking about all the Dummies books in existence and what it means to us as the consumer of these products.

After a bit of online research I found that the first Dummies book was published in 1991 and it was on DOS, one of the original operating systems...not a fun one from the user end. Since then there have been over 450 titles and they are millions of these books published in 5 languages.

I think they appeal because of their very basic language. It's a way of catching the 'dummy' in us; up to the amateur or even expert user of whatever lesson we're learning. My husband bought the "Dieting for Dummies", before embarking on his first 'official' diet. That is a life lesson I already had from a lifetime of dieting (maybe it's a gender thing). He also had the "Golf for Dummies". that I purchased for him when he graduated College.

I've personally read the "No-Brainer's Guide to Jesus" and the "No-Brainer's Guide to the Bible". They are both very information books with a bunch of GENERALIZED and fairly 'bipartisan' (if I can use that term) information. They are written by professionals and individuals who have researched these topics extensively. There are interesting facts and figures included in these books that would be helpful in any game of Trivia.

My whole thought process revolved around the evolution of these books. Before we became so diverse and technical and ever 'evolving' on the mother-earth, we existed and learned things from teachers and by trial/error. We have become people who dissect everything we can think of and UPGRADE as many things as we put our hands on. We also want the most generalized, concise information we can get.

Why do we do this? I wonder if it's a God-lesson. I wonder if it's the enemies interference and way of distracting us from our purpose. Sometimes I think we become so focused...even overly focused on UNDERSTANDING everything, that we lose site of the lesson, the experience of learning and the depth of a real education on the subject.

I'm not saying these books aren't helpful or hilarious to read, because they are and there are millions of published books that help defend that hypothesis. What I am saying is what price are we paying in our quest for worldly knowledge? Are we sacrificing our quest for Godly wisdom?

I think Satan has us running circles as we upgrade phones, computers, televisions, cars, etc... so much so, that we have closed our Bible and our mind to the everlasting lessons that are held between those gild pages. I hope my personal evolution doesn't end as a DUMMY!


**side note: We went up to see my sister, niece and nephew yesterday. It was a 'full' day. The hubs was busy all day doing stuff with the nephew. I spent the day with my sister and niece. My niece is doing okay. She is still in pain, both physically and emotionally, but she KNOWS God has her back. She knows God has this baby because it is HIS creation. Thanks to all those who have prayed and are praying for this broken family.

Growing Pains

“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.” Hebrews 11:1

My precious niece had a miscarriage today. The pregnancy was not planned, but the baby was already loved in abundance by both my niece and the whole family. She had even been brave enough to ‘break it’ to my parents. They took it hard and cried many a tear over both my niece and that precious baby. She was about 9 weeks along.

I’m not sure what to think or say. I know I’m hurting for her and I can’t begin to image the pain she feels right now.

The well-known verse above is part of our church’s weekly reading. Not ironic, but God timed I’m certain. The first phrase really stuck in my head when I got the call about the baby.

Faith is the SUBSTANCE of things hoped for the evidence of things unseen.

Faith IS the SUBSTANCE (essence, reality) of things I hope for AND the evidence of things unseen. I can’t see where that baby is now. But I have an absolute assurance that he or she IS WITH GOD. My faith tells me so…every part of my ‘essence’ tells me so.

We all know growth comes with pain. I know my niece is in pain right now…and I know she’s growing! Her faith will grow. She has a new, albeit extremely painful, life experience that God is walking her through. She will take this day, this experience with her and it will forever be a part of her ‘testimony’ a memory to hold and cherish of the baby God gave her…for only 9 weeks.

The Key to Asking

God spoke to me today so clearly in church. The pastor was speaking about focusing not on HOW, but on WHO! ONLY when we focus on WHO can we realize our potential. The HOW may seem like only a trap the enemy sets to keep us from God's purpose; but I have seen in my own life choosing to focus on the HOW rather than the WHO and drifting aimlessly and unhappily through life.

The next thing God told me very clearly was about our prayers and asking for God to reveal himself, and asking for God to bless us, and asking God to heal us, and asking God to teach us...

God simply whispered into my ear: RECEIVE.

The key to asking is RECEIVING that which He has given.

WOW!

10-Years Ago Today

10-years ago today I woke up and felt the hope of a new beginning.

10 years ago today I dressed to the nines

10 years ago today I was surrounded by friends and family.

10 years ago today I walked down the aisle.

10 years ago today I met him at the altar.

10 years ago today I said I-DO.

10 years ago today 1 heart stopped and two hearts began beating together.

10 years ago today my life began anew.

I love you Paul! You will always represent the sweetest memory of yesterday, the love of today and the hope of tomorrow.

And I would marry you again in a heartbeat.

Warrior of Worry

Worrying has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now. It started when the small group we attend was discussing the definition and clarification of worrying. There was some consensus (not by me) that 'concern' is not the same as worry. I think they were splitting hairs. I believe worry could be classified as uncontrolled concern.

I started thinking about it then and apparently my ears have been attuned to any talk of worries. I hear it at work: Co-workers worried about work issues, worried about home and money and bills and kids and school and layoffs and gas prices and every little and big thing a person could worry about.

My mother is worried about my sister. My father is worried about my niece. My niece is worried about her mother and life in general. My nephew is worried about his mother and grandfather. I begin to fall prey to the worry around me. It takes a physical effort to retrain my thoughts and prevent the worry from seeping in.

Then I listened to complete strangers in different settings and I heard worry there too. People worried about the election, more worry about gas prices, the stock market, grocery prices, unemployment, disability, bankruptcy, murder, and every other thing people worry about.

Then I listened to our guest pastor this past week and he spoke about worries of finances and health and he led us all to pray about debt cancellation and physical healing for sick bodies. He spoke directly about worry and how it can 'trip us up' in our faith.

Needless to say it's been on my mind. The study I do each week, called "Hiding From Love", also talked about how worry can affect our lives and marriage and faith. I'm pretty sure they will soon talk about how worry can be the precursor to much of our hiding.

I'm really trying to focus on what the word says and it's clear that Satan knows this is an area that could trip ANYONE up, so he uses it universally. I'm going to have to speak these Scripture to him aloud and remind him I am the daughter of a KING!

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:24-26

I love that the Word specifically tells me I am more valuable than the birds he cares for and feeds and that worrying will essentially add nothing to my life that is good.


But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:33-34

I love that in this Scripture Jesus tells us that in focusing on God's kingdom and HIS righteousness and worry will be a non-issue. He goes on to tell us that the physical act of worrying merits nothing for us.

So here's to a worry free Wednesday!

In the words of one of my favorite songs: "Don't worry, be happy!"

Safety Glass

I've had a hard time coming here lately...well not so much coming, but leaving anything when I do come. I'm going to try to be better about it.

The beauty of this blog has always been the ability to be the REAL me, yet still covered. I can peel back the layers at my own pace. I can continue to cover the scars with a band aid and not fear exposure here behind this screen.

I have found incredible encouragement at times. I have also found TONS of judgment and criticism. I almost have an easier time accepting the negative because that is how I'm programmed.

In God's perfect timing, I've just started a study with a friend; "Hiding From Love" by John Townsend. A really good book if you haven't read it. The first week of this study is about how sometimes when we choose to hide from evil, we also begin to hide from good out of inability to discern the two in our hearts.

I'm hopeful this study will help me allow God to heal past hurts and be able to accept encouragement as exactly what it is and not some hidden agenda that the enemy tries to convince me it is. I'm hopeful I'll find my way from behind the safety glass of this screen to develop real relationships with everyone God chooses. And that once and for all, I can just be me...good, bad and everything in between...by the grace of God.

Six Weeks Already?!

I can't believe six weeks have already passed. I'm headed back to work tomorrow and it feels almost like I'm starting a new job...mostly because I've forgotten a bunch of passwords and a bunch of new staff have been hired in my absence. I'm sure after one day of reading hundreds of emails it'll feel like old hat'.

All the same, please remember me in your prayers for energy and a great day!

With that off my chest I'll continue with The Last Lecture notes. One thing I started to realize as I read this short 'book' is that Pausch may not proclaim his Christianity (in an effort not to exclude others from the all encompassing message), but the roots of everything he does/did are grounded securely in the Word of Christ.

These last chapters have talked about 'the lost art of the thank you note', loyalty, telling the truth (ALWAYS), see in color (not just black and white), no job is beneath you, NEVER GIVE UP, and I've just finished a chapter about being a COMMUNITARIAN. I don't know about you but I've read about all these principles in God's Word.

I really stopped and pondered the idea of Communitarianism. Pausch talks about building a community. He reminds us in a very straightforward manner that we do have rights and with those rights come RESPONSIBILITY. Many of us like to glaze over that last part of the agreement. Children sometimes become selfish about sharing their toys. Teenagers today believe they are even more entitled than the generation before. It should come as no surprise that they are learning this from the adults.

Dr. Pausch speaks specifically about how we all want a fair trial if we were ever arrested; however, many of us try like the dickens to get out of jury duty!

The bottom line...for me, is to use my God-given gifts to serve (volunteer) and to be a productive, giving part of my community. This seems a fitting lesson in this start-up church we are attending and the great needs in serving that exist. As a matter of fact, God knew I was going to be reading these chapters because lo' and behold if the Pastor's wife didn't call and want to 'run something by' the hubs and I...what do you bet it's about an opportunity to serve?

I guess I should call her!

On Living...

...back to our regularly scheduled blogging.

The Last Lecture is coming to a close and the next section is titled: "It's about how you live your life". Pausch has several short chapters talking about how he tried to live his own life. Rather than be swayed or influenced by his own words I thought I'd throw out the way I've chosen to live my life and potential successes or struggles along the way.

I've tried to live my life with OTHERS IN MIND. I mean my life is not a selfish life, not in it's entirety. I've always had my parents' interests in mind or my friends, my better half, not just my own.

I've been an OBSERVER of life. I've watched people my whole life. My mother even says I watched people as a baby. I wasn't afraid of people, but I would observe them. The first African American I ever met I just had to touch her hair and tell her how beautiful it was. I was about 3 years old.

I also observed people interact with their own families and friends. I've learned some extremely valuable lessons from these observations...particularly things that DON'T work so well. I became a better actress in my observations and it served me well in uncomfortable situations.

I've tried to live my life with PASSION. I am a firm believer that if you do something with passion it will be much more worthwhile. Additionally if you attempt to do things you are NOT passionate about, you will never truly succeed.

I've tried to live my life with an OPEN MIND. For me, if I recognize we are not all the same and we have all come from a different place on this planet, it's much easier to accept ourselves AND others.

The most important way I've lived my life is with QUESTIONS...lots and lots of questions. I am full of questions and love books of questions. I will ask them and I will answer them. We will never have all the answers this side of heaven, but we must ask, we must seek, we must knock!

This is the very crux of who I am and how I approach EVERY part of my life; from flesh to my life in Christ, this is how I approach it.

...so how have YOU lived your life?

Crossing the Finish Line

I'm taking a day break from the Last Lecture series I've been blogging about for this important message...

Today in church the pastor was talking about the Scripture about running the race and how we are called to not only run the race, but to win the race before us.

I thought about it for only a minute when I heard God say to me a couple of things:

The race before me may not be the race before you.

More importantly:

It’s not just about crossing the finish line…it’s about The Cross at the Finish Line!

There’s some food for thought!