The next chapters of The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch, are all about the lessons he learned along his journey.
Here are the lessons I've learned (or some of them):
1. Accidents happen, and start at an early age. Things can be replaced, people can't.
2. Trust your gut, I've found it's that intuitive sense that becomes much clearer the closer you get to God and there is NO better guide.
3. Never underestimate yourself. You are exactly who God says you are and can do what God says you can do. That's a pretty big picture, so...
4. Don't sweat the small stuff, it all works out eventually, and the lessons learned are unbelievable!
5. True love RARELY happens with that first boyfriend and life is NOT over.
6. It is true, when you quit trying to find him, your soul mate is found.
7. Aging is not the worst thing in the world. With aging comes wisdom and assurance that is SO lacking in youth.
8. Blood is thicker than water.
9. ALL wounds heal...eventually.
10. Some wounds do leave scars and that is to serve as a reminder.
So...what other life lessons are out there?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Dreams Awaiting
Yesterday I left off with the question: What were your childhood dreams?
My childhood dreams were as varied and 'ever-changing' as the seasons. The most recurring dreams I had were:
To be an astronaut
To play classical piano
To be a princess
To be a doctor
To be an actress
In his book, Randy Pausch reviews through several chapters how he made each of his childhood dreams a reality (in one sense or another). This seems like quite a challenge for me, but lets see where we end.
Dream #1
I dreamed of being an astronaut because I loved the feeling of flying and weightlessness. Of course the weightlessness I felt was in dreams (along with flying) and the occasional brief jump on a trampoline where you feel less earth-bound and more free to fly in the air as you jump higher and higher. An astronaut is also a scientist and I do believe that is what guided me to ultimately pursue science in college. I still love to stare up at the sky at night or imagine what the moon looks like up close and what moon dust feels like in my bare hand.
Dream #2
My second dream was to play classical piano. I can pick a few notes out on a piano, but my parents income dictated a more realistic dream of playing the organ. Somehow I don't know how my parents managed with the 3 of us all desiring so many things and when we asked we usually received. My brother played trumpet, and guitar, I played the organ and my sister played violin. Aside from the cost of lessons came the endless hours of 'music in training' as we practiced for set hours each day. I quit playing the organ as middle school ended and I went on to pursue other dreams in high school.
I still have a love of piano music. My favorites are probably Jim Brickman and George Winston. I love the way they bring music to life on the piano. I am awed by piano players who get so lost in their magic that it appears effortless.
Dream #3
I also dreamed (as most any girl does) of being a princess. I dreamed of being rescued by a prince and swept off my feet. Guess what...if anyone has ever read anything here about the 'Prince' I married, you know I really did get this dream. There is NOTHING that prince wouldn't do for me. Not a day goes by that I don't feel just like a princess...only without the poison apple.
Dream #4
My next dream was to be a doctor. I really held on to this one for many years. One thing that doesn't make sense is I didn't enjoy GOING to the doctor, but I did dream of BECOMING a doctor. I thought it out and wanted to be a Pediatric Hematologist who specialized in Genetics. I geared all my coursework in high school and college towards this dream. I attended a school (my father's Alma mater) that had an incredibly high MCAT score and Med School acceptance rate. I declared this major and began this dream.
One thing I didn't account for was the social dream I was living and the freedom I had yet to learn to reign in. I would catch glimpses of students I studied with during the week, reading or getting lab time on weekends from sun up to sundown. It was like a punch to the gut but a real time saver. I did not want to give up my social time to study my life away for the next 8-15 years. I wasn't going to be a doctor, but Lord knows I worked with enough of them along the way.
I did work for many years as a Med Tech and got to work on several research projects with PhDs and Physicians and even have a hand in the genetics I so desired to study.
Dream #5
The final dream I included was to be an actress. I love to act. I love to put on the character and become something else for a short period of time. Apparently I had this dream from very early on as my mother points out she refused to fly in a helicopter or I could have had commercial work as a child. "Alas, poor KPJARA!"
I did get to act in high school and learned I also enjoyed directing and back stage work. The theater is an amazing place. It is an amazing experience. I won Best Thespian my senior year and this came as a huge surprise sense I didn't ever have a LEADING role, rather supporting roles or backstage work. What I had was a passion for theater...and this still exists today.
I still have spurts of this behavior when I speak in accents at random times and sing at the top of my lungs...in my car (and at worship). I dance daily...with the dogs. I recite scenes from movies or plays and even favorite commercials.
What I realized as I thought about these dreams (and read The Last Lecture), is that my dreams certainly did come true. They may not seem like it in the literal sense but in the sense that matters...my dreams all came true!
My childhood dreams were as varied and 'ever-changing' as the seasons. The most recurring dreams I had were:
To be an astronaut
To play classical piano
To be a princess
To be a doctor
To be an actress
In his book, Randy Pausch reviews through several chapters how he made each of his childhood dreams a reality (in one sense or another). This seems like quite a challenge for me, but lets see where we end.
Dream #1
I dreamed of being an astronaut because I loved the feeling of flying and weightlessness. Of course the weightlessness I felt was in dreams (along with flying) and the occasional brief jump on a trampoline where you feel less earth-bound and more free to fly in the air as you jump higher and higher. An astronaut is also a scientist and I do believe that is what guided me to ultimately pursue science in college. I still love to stare up at the sky at night or imagine what the moon looks like up close and what moon dust feels like in my bare hand.
Dream #2
My second dream was to play classical piano. I can pick a few notes out on a piano, but my parents income dictated a more realistic dream of playing the organ. Somehow I don't know how my parents managed with the 3 of us all desiring so many things and when we asked we usually received. My brother played trumpet, and guitar, I played the organ and my sister played violin. Aside from the cost of lessons came the endless hours of 'music in training' as we practiced for set hours each day. I quit playing the organ as middle school ended and I went on to pursue other dreams in high school.
I still have a love of piano music. My favorites are probably Jim Brickman and George Winston. I love the way they bring music to life on the piano. I am awed by piano players who get so lost in their magic that it appears effortless.
Dream #3
I also dreamed (as most any girl does) of being a princess. I dreamed of being rescued by a prince and swept off my feet. Guess what...if anyone has ever read anything here about the 'Prince' I married, you know I really did get this dream. There is NOTHING that prince wouldn't do for me. Not a day goes by that I don't feel just like a princess...only without the poison apple.
Dream #4
My next dream was to be a doctor. I really held on to this one for many years. One thing that doesn't make sense is I didn't enjoy GOING to the doctor, but I did dream of BECOMING a doctor. I thought it out and wanted to be a Pediatric Hematologist who specialized in Genetics. I geared all my coursework in high school and college towards this dream. I attended a school (my father's Alma mater) that had an incredibly high MCAT score and Med School acceptance rate. I declared this major and began this dream.
One thing I didn't account for was the social dream I was living and the freedom I had yet to learn to reign in. I would catch glimpses of students I studied with during the week, reading or getting lab time on weekends from sun up to sundown. It was like a punch to the gut but a real time saver. I did not want to give up my social time to study my life away for the next 8-15 years. I wasn't going to be a doctor, but Lord knows I worked with enough of them along the way.
I did work for many years as a Med Tech and got to work on several research projects with PhDs and Physicians and even have a hand in the genetics I so desired to study.
Dream #5
The final dream I included was to be an actress. I love to act. I love to put on the character and become something else for a short period of time. Apparently I had this dream from very early on as my mother points out she refused to fly in a helicopter or I could have had commercial work as a child. "Alas, poor KPJARA!"
I did get to act in high school and learned I also enjoyed directing and back stage work. The theater is an amazing place. It is an amazing experience. I won Best Thespian my senior year and this came as a huge surprise sense I didn't ever have a LEADING role, rather supporting roles or backstage work. What I had was a passion for theater...and this still exists today.
I still have spurts of this behavior when I speak in accents at random times and sing at the top of my lungs...in my car (and at worship). I dance daily...with the dogs. I recite scenes from movies or plays and even favorite commercials.
What I realized as I thought about these dreams (and read The Last Lecture), is that my dreams certainly did come true. They may not seem like it in the literal sense but in the sense that matters...my dreams all came true!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Who Am I?
I'm going on a 'blog-trip' for the next 'however-long-it-takes' and taking whomever wishes to come along. Grab your bags and come along, hopefully we will all arrive at a wonderful place of self-discovery and incredible awareness.
Recently there was an evening news program (I don't remember which one) but it played a portion of Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" (I tried to autolink it...but apparently it's not working. It's www.thelastlecture.com). Check it out...you can even watch the lecture.
So my father bought the book. It's a small book, only about 200 small pages. My father read it and has loaned it to me to read and reap. So I started about 30 minutes ago and it's brought me to thoughts I hadn't considered and thoughts I've missed having since my word-purge occurred over a year ago.
In the introduction, Professor Pausch addresses his desire to write and offer this "Last Lecture", which in his case was quite literal and left a legacy for so many. One of the first questions he asks in preparation for the lecture is, What makes me unique?
I stopped and considered what makes me unique. What legacy am I leaving? Am I even leaving a legacy.
Of course, the honest answer is we ALL leave a legacy. Some are forgotten or less than memorable or hopefully forgotten...but most of us leave a legacy worth remembering and when you try to put to words what your legacy is...what comes to mind?
For me, to date, my legacy is one of struggling to find my God-given purpose and living that purpose out, while trying to gain and keep wisdom along the way. My unique-ness comes from a creative spirit, a mind that seeks continually, and a heart that aches for those in pain or those unable to fight for themselves.
I am going to try to post daily as I travel through this book and I'm also hopeful there will be wisdom earned as well. I hope you all will check out Dr. Pausch's website and look at his story...it applies to each of us and we all know we could use that feeling of one-ness with someone else that ultimately came to the end of his journey fulfilled.
The question for tomorrow is: What were your childhood dreams?
Recently there was an evening news program (I don't remember which one) but it played a portion of Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" (I tried to autolink it...but apparently it's not working. It's www.thelastlecture.com). Check it out...you can even watch the lecture.
So my father bought the book. It's a small book, only about 200 small pages. My father read it and has loaned it to me to read and reap. So I started about 30 minutes ago and it's brought me to thoughts I hadn't considered and thoughts I've missed having since my word-purge occurred over a year ago.
In the introduction, Professor Pausch addresses his desire to write and offer this "Last Lecture", which in his case was quite literal and left a legacy for so many. One of the first questions he asks in preparation for the lecture is, What makes me unique?
I stopped and considered what makes me unique. What legacy am I leaving? Am I even leaving a legacy.
Of course, the honest answer is we ALL leave a legacy. Some are forgotten or less than memorable or hopefully forgotten...but most of us leave a legacy worth remembering and when you try to put to words what your legacy is...what comes to mind?
For me, to date, my legacy is one of struggling to find my God-given purpose and living that purpose out, while trying to gain and keep wisdom along the way. My unique-ness comes from a creative spirit, a mind that seeks continually, and a heart that aches for those in pain or those unable to fight for themselves.
I am going to try to post daily as I travel through this book and I'm also hopeful there will be wisdom earned as well. I hope you all will check out Dr. Pausch's website and look at his story...it applies to each of us and we all know we could use that feeling of one-ness with someone else that ultimately came to the end of his journey fulfilled.
The question for tomorrow is: What were your childhood dreams?
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Time Flies
I honestly thought by now I'd be bored to tears from all my 'free time'. Let me just say...I'm busier with my 'free time' than I was at work. I think mostly because I have time to 'go and do', and so I do...go and do!
I've had lunches with friends, been shopping, NAPPED (tons), recuperated, had dentist appointments, doctor appointments, hung out with my parents (and other stay-at-home peeps), and frankly I'm really enjoying it.
It's coming to an end much sooner than I can imagine. I return to work August 21. At least it'll make for a SHORT first week back (2 days). I still get tired easily and have to 'rest' throughout the day, but I haven't had a real nap in a week or so.
I'd like to say I've accomplished a lot of soul-searching, but honestly I haven't. I have had a number of 'chats' with God and it's good to hear from Him...anytime! I've worked this week (in attempts to get myself physically ready to WORK), in straightening closets and relining shelves and drawers in the kitchen. I've begun annual purging of items for a garage sale or donation to charity and I'm completing my week with a brand new 'trendy' hair cut and style.
Since next week is my last week off, I'm going to treat it as an in-town vacation and I'm going to go peruse the haunts I love in town, including but not limited to: consignment shops, antique stores, trendy little shops, card stores, craft stores, book stores, etc. If it ever cools down I may have a lunch alfresco (though with temps soaring above 100 that may have to wait til an Autumn weekend).
I've also been working on the annual Christmas gift to the aunts and uncles and some friends. I'm preparing a cookbook of all our favorite recipes. I've completed about 1/4 of it and I think it's going to be a useful and memorable gift. I thought I'd use family pics throughout on individual books for those family members and then use pics of the food (the ones I have). I'm going to have it spiral bound at Kinko's, but I will do some scrap booking to individualize them once I get them copied and bound.
I hope all is well in the blogdom. I have been checking in with many of you and am encouraged daily by so many of my 'reads'. Thank you for your encouragement in the form of emails and comments and the writing...how I love the writing.
Happy Wednesday!
I've had lunches with friends, been shopping, NAPPED (tons), recuperated, had dentist appointments, doctor appointments, hung out with my parents (and other stay-at-home peeps), and frankly I'm really enjoying it.
It's coming to an end much sooner than I can imagine. I return to work August 21. At least it'll make for a SHORT first week back (2 days). I still get tired easily and have to 'rest' throughout the day, but I haven't had a real nap in a week or so.
I'd like to say I've accomplished a lot of soul-searching, but honestly I haven't. I have had a number of 'chats' with God and it's good to hear from Him...anytime! I've worked this week (in attempts to get myself physically ready to WORK), in straightening closets and relining shelves and drawers in the kitchen. I've begun annual purging of items for a garage sale or donation to charity and I'm completing my week with a brand new 'trendy' hair cut and style.
Since next week is my last week off, I'm going to treat it as an in-town vacation and I'm going to go peruse the haunts I love in town, including but not limited to: consignment shops, antique stores, trendy little shops, card stores, craft stores, book stores, etc. If it ever cools down I may have a lunch alfresco (though with temps soaring above 100 that may have to wait til an Autumn weekend).
I've also been working on the annual Christmas gift to the aunts and uncles and some friends. I'm preparing a cookbook of all our favorite recipes. I've completed about 1/4 of it and I think it's going to be a useful and memorable gift. I thought I'd use family pics throughout on individual books for those family members and then use pics of the food (the ones I have). I'm going to have it spiral bound at Kinko's, but I will do some scrap booking to individualize them once I get them copied and bound.
I hope all is well in the blogdom. I have been checking in with many of you and am encouraged daily by so many of my 'reads'. Thank you for your encouragement in the form of emails and comments and the writing...how I love the writing.
Happy Wednesday!
Monday, July 21, 2008
Firestarter
We have started attending a new church (new to us), called The Gathering. It meets in a high school fairly close to our home and is smaller and a bit more 'intimate' in terms of size which you all know how important that is to me. Anyway, the pastor preached this weekend about 'Igniting the Fire' within us and to help spread that fire.
I haven't felt much like a fire starter lately, as a matter of fact I've felt drenched and doused with not only water, but fire retardant materials. It's been downright cold where I've been walking.
...yet as I sat in that auditorium and praised God and listened to this pastor speak, he reminded us that (in the words of a very old praise song)...it only takes a spark.
If we have but a spark...or are just kindling...or have just the heat from the fire, we can be grown into a raging inferno. So as I feel my kindling begin to be fanned, I feel the beginnings of a small flame and all the hope that surrounds that renewal.
It helps that my surgery recovery is progressing so well. I feel really good. I still take a few naps a day and realize I am NOT fully recovered, but I'm getting there. I'm resting and 'renewing' not only my body...but my mind.
God really did have this all planned out for just a time as this.
Have a week filled with the fire of God's Spirit!
I haven't felt much like a fire starter lately, as a matter of fact I've felt drenched and doused with not only water, but fire retardant materials. It's been downright cold where I've been walking.
...yet as I sat in that auditorium and praised God and listened to this pastor speak, he reminded us that (in the words of a very old praise song)...it only takes a spark.
If we have but a spark...or are just kindling...or have just the heat from the fire, we can be grown into a raging inferno. So as I feel my kindling begin to be fanned, I feel the beginnings of a small flame and all the hope that surrounds that renewal.
It helps that my surgery recovery is progressing so well. I feel really good. I still take a few naps a day and realize I am NOT fully recovered, but I'm getting there. I'm resting and 'renewing' not only my body...but my mind.
God really did have this all planned out for just a time as this.
Have a week filled with the fire of God's Spirit!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig
I came home yesterday and while I did sleep most of the afternoon and evening away I'm feeling much better already today.
The doctor believes the procedure was successful and they were able to go laparoscopically which is a HUGE answer to prayer, no huge incisions. My stay overnight was uneventful and while the food was HORRIBLE, the nurses were wonderful and it made me appreciate my family and friends even more.
I took a short walk to the end of the street today and it was tiring, but I feel so much better than I ever dreamed I would.
I'll check in again in a day or so.
Love and blessings to you all and thanks from the bottom of my heart, for the prayers. I felt each one!
The doctor believes the procedure was successful and they were able to go laparoscopically which is a HUGE answer to prayer, no huge incisions. My stay overnight was uneventful and while the food was HORRIBLE, the nurses were wonderful and it made me appreciate my family and friends even more.
I took a short walk to the end of the street today and it was tiring, but I feel so much better than I ever dreamed I would.
I'll check in again in a day or so.
Love and blessings to you all and thanks from the bottom of my heart, for the prayers. I felt each one!
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Fear Not
Tomorrow's the surgery date.
I'm not afraid...not really.
Mostly just tired from all the overtime I've been working.
I'll be at home for 6-8 weeks, so plenty of time to rest. Hopefully I will make time to find some writing inspiration too!
Prayers welcome...
Blessings from the other side of the scalpel.
I'm not afraid...not really.
Mostly just tired from all the overtime I've been working.
I'll be at home for 6-8 weeks, so plenty of time to rest. Hopefully I will make time to find some writing inspiration too!
Prayers welcome...
Blessings from the other side of the scalpel.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Did I Hit My Head?
One of my Spiritual gifts is Encouragement. I love, love, love to encourage people. I’m like one of those ‘cheerleader’ type people who loves to lift others up.
…or at least I used to be.
I’m pretty sure it started happening when I started seeing others’ through my eyes instead of Christ’s eyes. Through my eyes people are not very nice. As a matter of fact, I’d say they’re downright mean. Well most of them anyway.
My ‘encourager’ is silenced. I catch myself (usually before I say anything audibly) wanting to speak truth from my own tainted vision, rather than Christ’s absolute truth.
I remember reading a Terri Blackstock book called; “The Heart Reader”, where people are given gifts to see, hear, or feel what others are thinking, feeling, etc. I may be combining two books, but I think it’s the same one. The people with the gift didn't even know they had it until it started working. They realized they were hearing the hurts of people that were unable to speak the hurts. They were seeing ‘impairments’ invisible to the eye. They were able to help minister to these ‘broken’ people with their gift.
Perhaps I better reread that book sometime soon. Either that or I’m going to need to see a physician higher up on the ‘scale’…like the Great Physician! How do I schedule those appointments? I’ll bet he just contacts me directly.
…or at least I used to be.
I’m pretty sure it started happening when I started seeing others’ through my eyes instead of Christ’s eyes. Through my eyes people are not very nice. As a matter of fact, I’d say they’re downright mean. Well most of them anyway.
My ‘encourager’ is silenced. I catch myself (usually before I say anything audibly) wanting to speak truth from my own tainted vision, rather than Christ’s absolute truth.
I remember reading a Terri Blackstock book called; “The Heart Reader”, where people are given gifts to see, hear, or feel what others are thinking, feeling, etc. I may be combining two books, but I think it’s the same one. The people with the gift didn't even know they had it until it started working. They realized they were hearing the hurts of people that were unable to speak the hurts. They were seeing ‘impairments’ invisible to the eye. They were able to help minister to these ‘broken’ people with their gift.
Perhaps I better reread that book sometime soon. Either that or I’m going to need to see a physician higher up on the ‘scale’…like the Great Physician! How do I schedule those appointments? I’ll bet he just contacts me directly.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Power of the Semi-Colon
I love to edit writing. I typically edit spelling, but occasionally I also pick up on punctuation and grammar errors. The spelling errors stand out like huge flashing signs. The grammar and punctuation are not quite so obvious.
One thing I’ve learned in working with MS Word is if the Microsoft editor isn’t happy with your sentence, and you replace a comma with a semi-colon, he either gets so confused he ‘passes’ the review or perhaps a more startling truth...the semi-colon has more power than the editor. Either way it cracks me up! Semi-colon’s buddy, colon, is almost as powerful, but he sometimes causes editor problems.
The other powerful thing about Mr. Semi-colon is typically nobody questions him. I suppose any symbol that translates into a ‘wink’ should have some power.
; He’s got the power!
One thing I’ve learned in working with MS Word is if the Microsoft editor isn’t happy with your sentence, and you replace a comma with a semi-colon, he either gets so confused he ‘passes’ the review or perhaps a more startling truth...the semi-colon has more power than the editor. Either way it cracks me up! Semi-colon’s buddy, colon, is almost as powerful, but he sometimes causes editor problems.
The other powerful thing about Mr. Semi-colon is typically nobody questions him. I suppose any symbol that translates into a ‘wink’ should have some power.
; He’s got the power!
Friday, June 06, 2008
Disappearing Dreams
Somewhere, somehow, I feel like I’ve lost my dreams. I know I had them just a short time ago but I can’t seem to place them. I can’t seem to even verbalize them.
I was thinking about the movie “The Ultimate Gift”, which you have GOT to see if you haven’t already. I’ve mentioned it before, it’s a Fox Faith film and it is WONDERFUL. Anyway…part of it is remembering you’ve got to have dreams.
I know I’ve had dreams and I know I’ve had some dreams come true. But my most recent dreams seem to have disappeared before my eyes. I’m wondering if it’s just all the other junk filling up my mind right now. Somehow I feel like the dream, however hazy, should still be visible and memorable enough to sustain that part of me; the part of me that yearns to fulfill the dream…the part of me that thrives on the hope of the dream.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just do dream shopping or Google top 10 dreams? My guess is what would ‘pop up’ would be unfit to read. I’m not going to try it. Maybe a magazine about dreams where you could see how they look once they’re fulfilled and you could just check off the ones that interest you and you receive information on how to proceed.
Okay…admittedly part of the fun of dreams is the ability to out-dream what is reality. The ability to visualize something so incredible that it’s almost impossible to think it could be done. That’s where God comes in. The greatest thing about our dreams (at least in my opinion) is that God uses us…the imperfect, to fulfill the dreams HE places in us. They are greater than we can imagine because He is greater than we can imagine.
Here is where the AHA moment comes in…I think, just possibly, my dreams are out there and available for me to see, but I’ve closed my eyes to them while I’m working through the other junk. Well, at least I know they’re out there somewhere…or at least I hope they are…
I was thinking about the movie “The Ultimate Gift”, which you have GOT to see if you haven’t already. I’ve mentioned it before, it’s a Fox Faith film and it is WONDERFUL. Anyway…part of it is remembering you’ve got to have dreams.
I know I’ve had dreams and I know I’ve had some dreams come true. But my most recent dreams seem to have disappeared before my eyes. I’m wondering if it’s just all the other junk filling up my mind right now. Somehow I feel like the dream, however hazy, should still be visible and memorable enough to sustain that part of me; the part of me that yearns to fulfill the dream…the part of me that thrives on the hope of the dream.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just do dream shopping or Google top 10 dreams? My guess is what would ‘pop up’ would be unfit to read. I’m not going to try it. Maybe a magazine about dreams where you could see how they look once they’re fulfilled and you could just check off the ones that interest you and you receive information on how to proceed.
Okay…admittedly part of the fun of dreams is the ability to out-dream what is reality. The ability to visualize something so incredible that it’s almost impossible to think it could be done. That’s where God comes in. The greatest thing about our dreams (at least in my opinion) is that God uses us…the imperfect, to fulfill the dreams HE places in us. They are greater than we can imagine because He is greater than we can imagine.
Here is where the AHA moment comes in…I think, just possibly, my dreams are out there and available for me to see, but I’ve closed my eyes to them while I’m working through the other junk. Well, at least I know they’re out there somewhere…or at least I hope they are…
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Out of Control
I had a nutrition appointment today. I’ve had more appointments in the past 2 months with all types of medical/health providers than I have in my entire life! I’ve seen the Gyn a few times, Gen Practitioner, Endocrinologist, and Nutritionist. Frankly, the laboratory and pharmacist should really considering giving me a frequent shoppers card. I’ve spent more money in copays than any one person should have to budget AND with the exception of a headache (I think from the darn visits)…I feel fine! Go figure.
Today I was at the nutritionist office and after the obligatory weigh-in (like something from the initial weighing in Biggest Loser), I sat and listened and answered questions about my paperwork. When she asked me to explain why I was feeling depressed I shared with her just a bit of my feelings of being ‘out of control’ of my life. She recommended I talk to the GYN about a mild pill for depression…just what I need another drug.
A week or so ago I had a bit of a breakdown of a similar kind around my hubs and he reminded me, in his own straightforward but calm and collected way, that I am not meant to be in control…God is supposed to be in control. I had to stop and think about it.
I did the same thing today.
The minute I get to thinking about being out of control with work, surgery, doctors, lab work, meds, etc. it begins to overwhelm me. I think that must be why God reminds me regularly to take my thoughts captive…renew my heart, oh and to think about what is good and righteous. I’ve been saying over and over (at work and home) how I am out of control…and that is true. But that is also good, because then God can be IN control. I’ve actually been speaking too many negatives over my own life…and I have to remind myself that ‘we have the power of life and death on our tongues’. I want life spoken over me!
Okay so after another near death experience at check out from the nutritionist (and I thought Plumbers made a lot of money), I am back at work and thinking about the past couple of months and I realize and profess…I am out of control. God is truly driving my life right now and while I’m sure I’ll attempt to back seat drive, hopefully He can get us safely to our destination on the other side of these feelings.
Today I was at the nutritionist office and after the obligatory weigh-in (like something from the initial weighing in Biggest Loser), I sat and listened and answered questions about my paperwork. When she asked me to explain why I was feeling depressed I shared with her just a bit of my feelings of being ‘out of control’ of my life. She recommended I talk to the GYN about a mild pill for depression…just what I need another drug.
A week or so ago I had a bit of a breakdown of a similar kind around my hubs and he reminded me, in his own straightforward but calm and collected way, that I am not meant to be in control…God is supposed to be in control. I had to stop and think about it.
I did the same thing today.
The minute I get to thinking about being out of control with work, surgery, doctors, lab work, meds, etc. it begins to overwhelm me. I think that must be why God reminds me regularly to take my thoughts captive…renew my heart, oh and to think about what is good and righteous. I’ve been saying over and over (at work and home) how I am out of control…and that is true. But that is also good, because then God can be IN control. I’ve actually been speaking too many negatives over my own life…and I have to remind myself that ‘we have the power of life and death on our tongues’. I want life spoken over me!
Okay so after another near death experience at check out from the nutritionist (and I thought Plumbers made a lot of money), I am back at work and thinking about the past couple of months and I realize and profess…I am out of control. God is truly driving my life right now and while I’m sure I’ll attempt to back seat drive, hopefully He can get us safely to our destination on the other side of these feelings.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Page Turner...
Two of my favorite things happen in the summer.
The first is garage sales are rampant and I take my 'blow money' and go shopping at the garage sales within the 3-4 miles of my home every Saturday. I love it! I've found some great gifts for family and friends and for my Bunco 'secret pal'.
The second is reading. Summer time is when I get down to reading. With my upcoming downtime I've been stockpiling books at my moms so I have plenty to read while I'm bed-bound. We have found tons of books at the garage sales and for just .25 a paperback...you really can't beat it unless you go to the library.
I've started reading these 'inspirational romances'...sort of Christian Harlequins and I LOVE them! They are quick reads and not trashy like some of the Harlequins tend to be.
Since I can't read the 12 we found at garage sales I was just reading other books I had on hold through winter. I just finished the last of those and thought I'd check out our 'bookshelves' at my work break room and lo' and behold there were several of these Inspirational Romances. I snatched a few up and read them. Three in the past week and a half. I went to go exchange some the other day and the rest were GONE! Apparently some other people at work appreciate them as much as I do. Now all that's left is old readers digests and a couple of old literary pieces I've had no desire to read since college.
Well it's back to garage sales to find more books or I'm going to have to actually purchase some books at our Christian Bookstore.
Any recommendations for some good christian fiction to read?
The first is garage sales are rampant and I take my 'blow money' and go shopping at the garage sales within the 3-4 miles of my home every Saturday. I love it! I've found some great gifts for family and friends and for my Bunco 'secret pal'.
The second is reading. Summer time is when I get down to reading. With my upcoming downtime I've been stockpiling books at my moms so I have plenty to read while I'm bed-bound. We have found tons of books at the garage sales and for just .25 a paperback...you really can't beat it unless you go to the library.
I've started reading these 'inspirational romances'...sort of Christian Harlequins and I LOVE them! They are quick reads and not trashy like some of the Harlequins tend to be.
Since I can't read the 12 we found at garage sales I was just reading other books I had on hold through winter. I just finished the last of those and thought I'd check out our 'bookshelves' at my work break room and lo' and behold there were several of these Inspirational Romances. I snatched a few up and read them. Three in the past week and a half. I went to go exchange some the other day and the rest were GONE! Apparently some other people at work appreciate them as much as I do. Now all that's left is old readers digests and a couple of old literary pieces I've had no desire to read since college.
Well it's back to garage sales to find more books or I'm going to have to actually purchase some books at our Christian Bookstore.
Any recommendations for some good christian fiction to read?
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