I love to edit writing. I typically edit spelling, but occasionally I also pick up on punctuation and grammar errors. The spelling errors stand out like huge flashing signs. The grammar and punctuation are not quite so obvious.
One thing I’ve learned in working with MS Word is if the Microsoft editor isn’t happy with your sentence, and you replace a comma with a semi-colon, he either gets so confused he ‘passes’ the review or perhaps a more startling truth...the semi-colon has more power than the editor. Either way it cracks me up! Semi-colon’s buddy, colon, is almost as powerful, but he sometimes causes editor problems.
The other powerful thing about Mr. Semi-colon is typically nobody questions him. I suppose any symbol that translates into a ‘wink’ should have some power.
; He’s got the power!
Monday, June 09, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
Disappearing Dreams
Somewhere, somehow, I feel like I’ve lost my dreams. I know I had them just a short time ago but I can’t seem to place them. I can’t seem to even verbalize them.
I was thinking about the movie “The Ultimate Gift”, which you have GOT to see if you haven’t already. I’ve mentioned it before, it’s a Fox Faith film and it is WONDERFUL. Anyway…part of it is remembering you’ve got to have dreams.
I know I’ve had dreams and I know I’ve had some dreams come true. But my most recent dreams seem to have disappeared before my eyes. I’m wondering if it’s just all the other junk filling up my mind right now. Somehow I feel like the dream, however hazy, should still be visible and memorable enough to sustain that part of me; the part of me that yearns to fulfill the dream…the part of me that thrives on the hope of the dream.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just do dream shopping or Google top 10 dreams? My guess is what would ‘pop up’ would be unfit to read. I’m not going to try it. Maybe a magazine about dreams where you could see how they look once they’re fulfilled and you could just check off the ones that interest you and you receive information on how to proceed.
Okay…admittedly part of the fun of dreams is the ability to out-dream what is reality. The ability to visualize something so incredible that it’s almost impossible to think it could be done. That’s where God comes in. The greatest thing about our dreams (at least in my opinion) is that God uses us…the imperfect, to fulfill the dreams HE places in us. They are greater than we can imagine because He is greater than we can imagine.
Here is where the AHA moment comes in…I think, just possibly, my dreams are out there and available for me to see, but I’ve closed my eyes to them while I’m working through the other junk. Well, at least I know they’re out there somewhere…or at least I hope they are…
I was thinking about the movie “The Ultimate Gift”, which you have GOT to see if you haven’t already. I’ve mentioned it before, it’s a Fox Faith film and it is WONDERFUL. Anyway…part of it is remembering you’ve got to have dreams.
I know I’ve had dreams and I know I’ve had some dreams come true. But my most recent dreams seem to have disappeared before my eyes. I’m wondering if it’s just all the other junk filling up my mind right now. Somehow I feel like the dream, however hazy, should still be visible and memorable enough to sustain that part of me; the part of me that yearns to fulfill the dream…the part of me that thrives on the hope of the dream.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just do dream shopping or Google top 10 dreams? My guess is what would ‘pop up’ would be unfit to read. I’m not going to try it. Maybe a magazine about dreams where you could see how they look once they’re fulfilled and you could just check off the ones that interest you and you receive information on how to proceed.
Okay…admittedly part of the fun of dreams is the ability to out-dream what is reality. The ability to visualize something so incredible that it’s almost impossible to think it could be done. That’s where God comes in. The greatest thing about our dreams (at least in my opinion) is that God uses us…the imperfect, to fulfill the dreams HE places in us. They are greater than we can imagine because He is greater than we can imagine.
Here is where the AHA moment comes in…I think, just possibly, my dreams are out there and available for me to see, but I’ve closed my eyes to them while I’m working through the other junk. Well, at least I know they’re out there somewhere…or at least I hope they are…
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Out of Control
I had a nutrition appointment today. I’ve had more appointments in the past 2 months with all types of medical/health providers than I have in my entire life! I’ve seen the Gyn a few times, Gen Practitioner, Endocrinologist, and Nutritionist. Frankly, the laboratory and pharmacist should really considering giving me a frequent shoppers card. I’ve spent more money in copays than any one person should have to budget AND with the exception of a headache (I think from the darn visits)…I feel fine! Go figure.
Today I was at the nutritionist office and after the obligatory weigh-in (like something from the initial weighing in Biggest Loser), I sat and listened and answered questions about my paperwork. When she asked me to explain why I was feeling depressed I shared with her just a bit of my feelings of being ‘out of control’ of my life. She recommended I talk to the GYN about a mild pill for depression…just what I need another drug.
A week or so ago I had a bit of a breakdown of a similar kind around my hubs and he reminded me, in his own straightforward but calm and collected way, that I am not meant to be in control…God is supposed to be in control. I had to stop and think about it.
I did the same thing today.
The minute I get to thinking about being out of control with work, surgery, doctors, lab work, meds, etc. it begins to overwhelm me. I think that must be why God reminds me regularly to take my thoughts captive…renew my heart, oh and to think about what is good and righteous. I’ve been saying over and over (at work and home) how I am out of control…and that is true. But that is also good, because then God can be IN control. I’ve actually been speaking too many negatives over my own life…and I have to remind myself that ‘we have the power of life and death on our tongues’. I want life spoken over me!
Okay so after another near death experience at check out from the nutritionist (and I thought Plumbers made a lot of money), I am back at work and thinking about the past couple of months and I realize and profess…I am out of control. God is truly driving my life right now and while I’m sure I’ll attempt to back seat drive, hopefully He can get us safely to our destination on the other side of these feelings.
Today I was at the nutritionist office and after the obligatory weigh-in (like something from the initial weighing in Biggest Loser), I sat and listened and answered questions about my paperwork. When she asked me to explain why I was feeling depressed I shared with her just a bit of my feelings of being ‘out of control’ of my life. She recommended I talk to the GYN about a mild pill for depression…just what I need another drug.
A week or so ago I had a bit of a breakdown of a similar kind around my hubs and he reminded me, in his own straightforward but calm and collected way, that I am not meant to be in control…God is supposed to be in control. I had to stop and think about it.
I did the same thing today.
The minute I get to thinking about being out of control with work, surgery, doctors, lab work, meds, etc. it begins to overwhelm me. I think that must be why God reminds me regularly to take my thoughts captive…renew my heart, oh and to think about what is good and righteous. I’ve been saying over and over (at work and home) how I am out of control…and that is true. But that is also good, because then God can be IN control. I’ve actually been speaking too many negatives over my own life…and I have to remind myself that ‘we have the power of life and death on our tongues’. I want life spoken over me!
Okay so after another near death experience at check out from the nutritionist (and I thought Plumbers made a lot of money), I am back at work and thinking about the past couple of months and I realize and profess…I am out of control. God is truly driving my life right now and while I’m sure I’ll attempt to back seat drive, hopefully He can get us safely to our destination on the other side of these feelings.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Page Turner...
Two of my favorite things happen in the summer.
The first is garage sales are rampant and I take my 'blow money' and go shopping at the garage sales within the 3-4 miles of my home every Saturday. I love it! I've found some great gifts for family and friends and for my Bunco 'secret pal'.
The second is reading. Summer time is when I get down to reading. With my upcoming downtime I've been stockpiling books at my moms so I have plenty to read while I'm bed-bound. We have found tons of books at the garage sales and for just .25 a paperback...you really can't beat it unless you go to the library.
I've started reading these 'inspirational romances'...sort of Christian Harlequins and I LOVE them! They are quick reads and not trashy like some of the Harlequins tend to be.
Since I can't read the 12 we found at garage sales I was just reading other books I had on hold through winter. I just finished the last of those and thought I'd check out our 'bookshelves' at my work break room and lo' and behold there were several of these Inspirational Romances. I snatched a few up and read them. Three in the past week and a half. I went to go exchange some the other day and the rest were GONE! Apparently some other people at work appreciate them as much as I do. Now all that's left is old readers digests and a couple of old literary pieces I've had no desire to read since college.
Well it's back to garage sales to find more books or I'm going to have to actually purchase some books at our Christian Bookstore.
Any recommendations for some good christian fiction to read?
The first is garage sales are rampant and I take my 'blow money' and go shopping at the garage sales within the 3-4 miles of my home every Saturday. I love it! I've found some great gifts for family and friends and for my Bunco 'secret pal'.
The second is reading. Summer time is when I get down to reading. With my upcoming downtime I've been stockpiling books at my moms so I have plenty to read while I'm bed-bound. We have found tons of books at the garage sales and for just .25 a paperback...you really can't beat it unless you go to the library.
I've started reading these 'inspirational romances'...sort of Christian Harlequins and I LOVE them! They are quick reads and not trashy like some of the Harlequins tend to be.
Since I can't read the 12 we found at garage sales I was just reading other books I had on hold through winter. I just finished the last of those and thought I'd check out our 'bookshelves' at my work break room and lo' and behold there were several of these Inspirational Romances. I snatched a few up and read them. Three in the past week and a half. I went to go exchange some the other day and the rest were GONE! Apparently some other people at work appreciate them as much as I do. Now all that's left is old readers digests and a couple of old literary pieces I've had no desire to read since college.
Well it's back to garage sales to find more books or I'm going to have to actually purchase some books at our Christian Bookstore.
Any recommendations for some good christian fiction to read?
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Observations
It's Thursday.
I'm ready for Friday.
I am trying to get everything ready for my 6 week deadline before surgery.
I don't know if I'll get it all done.
I feel very out of control of things.
I still can't find any strong sense of where God is in this whole thing.
I never feel 'heard' by my father when my brother is in town.
I feel completely overshadowed when my sister is in town.
These feelings continue to feed in me a sense that independence is the safest place.
I'm tired of being safe.
I think sometimes people see me as unfriendly, when they haven't even scaled the walls.
Thank God for my husband.
He's helping me stay on track.
I'm hanging on...
I'm ready for Friday.
I am trying to get everything ready for my 6 week deadline before surgery.
I don't know if I'll get it all done.
I feel very out of control of things.
I still can't find any strong sense of where God is in this whole thing.
I never feel 'heard' by my father when my brother is in town.
I feel completely overshadowed when my sister is in town.
These feelings continue to feed in me a sense that independence is the safest place.
I'm tired of being safe.
I think sometimes people see me as unfriendly, when they haven't even scaled the walls.
Thank God for my husband.
He's helping me stay on track.
I'm hanging on...
Monday, May 26, 2008
Dying to Serve
I won't mince words when I say: I HATE War! I will never, ever understand the purpose of killing people over land, politics, etc. I didn't understand it in the Old Testament and I don't understand it today.
That said, a Pastor shared yesterday that many of these people are serving God through protecting our country and the freedoms our country was founded on: Life, Liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness.
I will try never to take for granted the soldiers that have protected these freedoms for me. I will continue to pray for solutions other than mass deaths, but I will continue to respect those brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers who are not here today because they have a call of service many of us will never have to experience.
God Bless these men and women today and EVERY day!
That said, a Pastor shared yesterday that many of these people are serving God through protecting our country and the freedoms our country was founded on: Life, Liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness.
I will try never to take for granted the soldiers that have protected these freedoms for me. I will continue to pray for solutions other than mass deaths, but I will continue to respect those brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers who are not here today because they have a call of service many of us will never have to experience.
God Bless these men and women today and EVERY day!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Call Waiting
My brother and Sister-in-Law are in town and we had dinner with them last night (just the 4 of us). That's HUGE considering my father really likes to spend time with my Brother when he's in town. They live on the East coast and rarely make it out to the heartland.
My brother and SIL are both Pastors. They aren't officially Pastoring a church currently, and they've had some of the same struggles and challenges I've faced in the church-search. They asked me some fairly straightforward questions about where I am with my 'calling'.
You see, it was a few short years ago when I really felt 'called' to serve God in a 'pastoral' role. Anyone who has followed me through the years knows I've struggled with conventional church and traditional church leadership. In the meantime, as I search and 'settle' for THE church, it becomes clearer and clearer that the places I 'land' are not doing me or anyone any good.
I can serve and try to get involved, but it is just empty. It's like hollow chocolate. It looks lovely but the flavor doesn't last and it's a bit waxy.
So the realization came to me as I considered the answers to their questions...
Is my 'calling' so hollow that it cannot translate to where God places me right this moment? Can I speak the convictions of my heart, to those God places before me? I don't know. The more time I spend in church, the less I like people. The more I question God... It's not that I doubt Him, it's that I don't 'get Him' and I don't think I'm supposed to at this point. I'm just supposed to trust Him and obey His leading.
For now I think it's got to be "Call" waiting.
My brother and SIL are both Pastors. They aren't officially Pastoring a church currently, and they've had some of the same struggles and challenges I've faced in the church-search. They asked me some fairly straightforward questions about where I am with my 'calling'.
You see, it was a few short years ago when I really felt 'called' to serve God in a 'pastoral' role. Anyone who has followed me through the years knows I've struggled with conventional church and traditional church leadership. In the meantime, as I search and 'settle' for THE church, it becomes clearer and clearer that the places I 'land' are not doing me or anyone any good.
I can serve and try to get involved, but it is just empty. It's like hollow chocolate. It looks lovely but the flavor doesn't last and it's a bit waxy.
So the realization came to me as I considered the answers to their questions...
Is my 'calling' so hollow that it cannot translate to where God places me right this moment? Can I speak the convictions of my heart, to those God places before me? I don't know. The more time I spend in church, the less I like people. The more I question God... It's not that I doubt Him, it's that I don't 'get Him' and I don't think I'm supposed to at this point. I'm just supposed to trust Him and obey His leading.
For now I think it's got to be "Call" waiting.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Trouble in the Blogdom
It has been SO long since I've been here...I figured I owed myself a few words if for no other reason than to log my journey.
As you can see I've had template issues. For some reason I totally lost my header...the one I paid for...go figure. Maybe there was some expiration date on the format. At any rate, I'm back to the basics...the free ones...particularly given the fact that I'm only posting once per month for now.
I have lost ALL my links. I hope to go try to find them and get them added back on, so bear with me as I search and look for all my treasured blog addresses. What's a girl to do? I figure I'll go through all my past comments if I have to!
I recently got some 'not so good' news from my doctor. Apparently all these GYN issues I've had for years are now proving to be even more troublesome. I'm scheduled to have surgery July 9th and will be out of work 6-8 weeks. Yeah...not so excited about that news. I am hopeful this will resolve the questionable test results. I'm also hopeful I can lay still as long as I need to.
The hubs, wonderful as ever, is getting a wireless router so I can use his laptop from bed and I just may be doing a bunch more blogging and surfing the blogs. That will help pass the time.
I can't think of anything else to share at this point...busy spring and the weather is getting warmer daily here in the heartland.
I hope all is well in your world and if you stop by...comment and leave your link so I can reenter all those names/addresses!
As you can see I've had template issues. For some reason I totally lost my header...the one I paid for...go figure. Maybe there was some expiration date on the format. At any rate, I'm back to the basics...the free ones...particularly given the fact that I'm only posting once per month for now.
I have lost ALL my links. I hope to go try to find them and get them added back on, so bear with me as I search and look for all my treasured blog addresses. What's a girl to do? I figure I'll go through all my past comments if I have to!
I recently got some 'not so good' news from my doctor. Apparently all these GYN issues I've had for years are now proving to be even more troublesome. I'm scheduled to have surgery July 9th and will be out of work 6-8 weeks. Yeah...not so excited about that news. I am hopeful this will resolve the questionable test results. I'm also hopeful I can lay still as long as I need to.
The hubs, wonderful as ever, is getting a wireless router so I can use his laptop from bed and I just may be doing a bunch more blogging and surfing the blogs. That will help pass the time.
I can't think of anything else to share at this point...busy spring and the weather is getting warmer daily here in the heartland.
I hope all is well in your world and if you stop by...comment and leave your link so I can reenter all those names/addresses!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Her Parents
I was in church on Sunday and we were singing and I was thinking about the words...and then a chorus of Hallelujahs began. There is something about the sound of a building full of Hallelujahs to God that amazes me. I spent a few minutes just closing my eyes and listening to the chorus and imagined God hearing us.
Then I looked to the front row of chairs and there is this couple. They are praising and worshipping without abandon. She's a tiny little thing, no more than 5 foot and maybe 90 pounds soaking wet. He's a bigger burly man, over 6 foot and 200 pounds or better. They keep to themselves. They have been a fixture on that front row for as long as I've been attending this church. They have always been very expressive in worship. They are HER Parents.
SHE is attending a college just north of here. She serves as a missionary and travels with her college to various places to help in whatever way she can. She loves people and she loves life! I've never met her personally, but have heard about her.
A few weeks ago, SHE was traveling home and was killed in an automobile crash. She was 19 or 20 years old. She was too young to die...or so it seemed.
Her parents 'spoke' through a letter to the church when it happened and they expressed their complete peace about her current place among angels, dancing with her Father God in fields of grace. They were torn apart by their own loss but so at ease with her new home. I have watched them since that week and while there are times they struggle to maintain during services that reach that 'loss spot', they always praise and worship with total abandon.
I wonder if somehow they are singing and dancing along with her. Her parents remind me (when I choose to remember) that there is ALWAYS time to praise and worship God.
There is a quote I love and I don't know the source, but I'm using an altered version of it here because it applies:
Life is God's gift to us,
How we use that life is our gift to God.
Let's use our life well!
Then I looked to the front row of chairs and there is this couple. They are praising and worshipping without abandon. She's a tiny little thing, no more than 5 foot and maybe 90 pounds soaking wet. He's a bigger burly man, over 6 foot and 200 pounds or better. They keep to themselves. They have been a fixture on that front row for as long as I've been attending this church. They have always been very expressive in worship. They are HER Parents.
SHE is attending a college just north of here. She serves as a missionary and travels with her college to various places to help in whatever way she can. She loves people and she loves life! I've never met her personally, but have heard about her.
A few weeks ago, SHE was traveling home and was killed in an automobile crash. She was 19 or 20 years old. She was too young to die...or so it seemed.
Her parents 'spoke' through a letter to the church when it happened and they expressed their complete peace about her current place among angels, dancing with her Father God in fields of grace. They were torn apart by their own loss but so at ease with her new home. I have watched them since that week and while there are times they struggle to maintain during services that reach that 'loss spot', they always praise and worship with total abandon.
I wonder if somehow they are singing and dancing along with her. Her parents remind me (when I choose to remember) that there is ALWAYS time to praise and worship God.
There is a quote I love and I don't know the source, but I'm using an altered version of it here because it applies:
Life is God's gift to us,
How we use that life is our gift to God.
Let's use our life well!
Friday, March 21, 2008
Feeling Mortal
I wonder if Jesus felt completely mortal at the moment on the cross just before he realized this was the way it would have to be done. This was the only way to ensure the salvation of a world of sinners...This was the only way I would ever know the freedom of redemption.
I am trying to imagine what it would be like. I know there have been times when I felt unjustly accused or unjustly punished, and it was always extremely frustrating and followed by a slew of thoughts and words that I felt the injustice deserved.
Yet, Jesus--perfect Jesus, didn't even succumb to the temptations or the sins I do each day. He did his Father's work and followed his Father to an earthly endpoint that seemed completely unjustified. Thank God he did!
What is the good in this GOOD Friday? For those of us who are Christians...it is the complete and total surrender of Jesus to His Father's will...leading to a cross and earthly death...leading to a trip to hell (on my behalf)...leading ultimately to a seat to the right hand of his Father...leading to a hope and an eternal future for us...for me.
Happy GOOD Friday!
I am trying to imagine what it would be like. I know there have been times when I felt unjustly accused or unjustly punished, and it was always extremely frustrating and followed by a slew of thoughts and words that I felt the injustice deserved.
Yet, Jesus--perfect Jesus, didn't even succumb to the temptations or the sins I do each day. He did his Father's work and followed his Father to an earthly endpoint that seemed completely unjustified. Thank God he did!
What is the good in this GOOD Friday? For those of us who are Christians...it is the complete and total surrender of Jesus to His Father's will...leading to a cross and earthly death...leading to a trip to hell (on my behalf)...leading ultimately to a seat to the right hand of his Father...leading to a hope and an eternal future for us...for me.
Happy GOOD Friday!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
A Refreshing Shower
I was taking a shower the other day...Sunday actually...before church, and I was thinking about a conversation with a young lady at work, about Scripture. Actually, the same young lady I wrote about last. Obviously God has brought us into one another's lives for a reason. Anyway, I was thinking about it and just talking to God about it and He gave me a reminder.
'Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, Oh Lord." Psalm 19:14
I knew immediately what it meant. I wasn't too proud or too stupid to try to pretend it was anything other than what it is. My words and meditations have not been so pleasing lately. One of the things I see in this young lady is a strong faith and while she struggles in the flesh (as we all do), she knows God has her 'back'.
I'm determined to work on my words...particularly at work...though today appears to be another dismal failure (AKA: Work in progress).
One day at a time.
Well maybe I'll have to take it one minute at a time.
'Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, Oh Lord." Psalm 19:14
I knew immediately what it meant. I wasn't too proud or too stupid to try to pretend it was anything other than what it is. My words and meditations have not been so pleasing lately. One of the things I see in this young lady is a strong faith and while she struggles in the flesh (as we all do), she knows God has her 'back'.
I'm determined to work on my words...particularly at work...though today appears to be another dismal failure (AKA: Work in progress).
One day at a time.
Well maybe I'll have to take it one minute at a time.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Make-Up
Cover the blemishes...hide the unsightly discoloration...even out the tone...plump up the lips...pump up the eyelashes...get the eyebrows waxed...firm the arms...lift anything that sags...
And the list goes on and on and on! It makes you wonder what we did before makeup and all these 'concealers' created just to make us BETTER!
One of the 19 y.o. young ladies I work with came up today and said she would be 'happy with herself' if she could just thin out her face. I informed her immediately she was exactly as God had intended her to be at this time in her life. I didn't discourage her from being the best she could be, but reminded her that our perceived idea of perfection is the ideal the world sets, not God.
I remember when I was much younger and my mother insisting I wear makeup to go shopping with her. I remember trying some of the fads that came and went to 'improve my looks'. Even today, in my forties, I have a hard time leaving the house without makeup. I too, have bought into the commercialism of beauty.
It's not just in the makeup...it's also the smile we plaster on our face no matter how we feel. It's covering up our flaws (even in front of our closest friends) for fear we would be judged unworthy by others.
With all that I've been going through spiritually and mentally (and physically) lately, I'm having a hard time justifying the continued attempts to be something other than who I was created to be.
This also gets me wondering about those judged as wearing TOO much makeup or having TOO many enhancements. It appears Satan has us exactly where he wants us. We will never be perfect, but we will always strive for it...perhaps sometimes more than we strive for our Christ-likeness.
Sad, isn't it...
And the list goes on and on and on! It makes you wonder what we did before makeup and all these 'concealers' created just to make us BETTER!
One of the 19 y.o. young ladies I work with came up today and said she would be 'happy with herself' if she could just thin out her face. I informed her immediately she was exactly as God had intended her to be at this time in her life. I didn't discourage her from being the best she could be, but reminded her that our perceived idea of perfection is the ideal the world sets, not God.
I remember when I was much younger and my mother insisting I wear makeup to go shopping with her. I remember trying some of the fads that came and went to 'improve my looks'. Even today, in my forties, I have a hard time leaving the house without makeup. I too, have bought into the commercialism of beauty.
It's not just in the makeup...it's also the smile we plaster on our face no matter how we feel. It's covering up our flaws (even in front of our closest friends) for fear we would be judged unworthy by others.
With all that I've been going through spiritually and mentally (and physically) lately, I'm having a hard time justifying the continued attempts to be something other than who I was created to be.
This also gets me wondering about those judged as wearing TOO much makeup or having TOO many enhancements. It appears Satan has us exactly where he wants us. We will never be perfect, but we will always strive for it...perhaps sometimes more than we strive for our Christ-likeness.
Sad, isn't it...
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