I've decided to leave the ice plant. I actually decided that at the end of last summer. It's just not a good 'fit' (in the words of management training). I am not happy.
I really want to fill the God-Shaped hole with something that He created me for...I just don't want to believe that he intended me to ramble from one job to another searching, searching, searching...for something that seems unattainable.
I know others' who have jobs they were created to do and you can tell immediately the way they light up when they talk about it, or the way they perform that job. I've never felt that way. I think it's been a lifetime of settling and I'm tired of settling.
At first I saw it as opportunity...after opportunity...after opportunity. Now I struggle with feelings of failure. Maybe I'm just a failure at stick-to-it-ness. Maybe I am incapable of committing to something long enough to see if it is the 'fill' for this God-shaped-hole.
Struggling with these feelings as it seems to be a culmination of a long life and a long list of failures, both professionally and personally.
I do THANK GOD for my marriage. I have a husband who encourages me and is faithful and I trust his love.
Thank you God for the joy of this covenant marriage and I pray you would lead these next steps and remove the lies of defeat.